Another advice thread

[warthog2t0]

love sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[SCpoloRicker]

Easy to follow steps...

1. with your buddies

2. at the club (yes one of those)

3. with your buddies some more, then about girl problems

4. when you see the quality and availability of women in college.

You're still young, not meant as an insult, and time heals many, if not all, wounds. Realize that this is probably the first "serious" relationship you have been in, and there will probably be many, many more (some even more painful) before you get settled.

I personally would suggest letting some distance in. Go to college with a clean plate, and conscience. Enjoy yourself as "they are the best years of your life." If you and this girl are "meant" for each other (I would suggest noone is "meant" for someone. A relationship that works will be because of WORK, not happy lovey-dovey feelings.) then you just may get back together when you are both older/wiser. If not, hopefully you both gained from the situation.

Becoming "just friends" is a bad idea, IMO. Spending lots of time together is not going to make it easier for either of you to move on, if only for the time being. Plus I know well the thoughts in your head about your new "friend." If you would get back with her in a heartbeat (and you probably would right now) than you're not "friends" you're hoping things will go back the way they were. Which they won't. Plus, she is getting all the attention you used to give her, plus some, and she is free to date other people?

Take with a grain of salt from a bitter but thrilled single guy.

Ricker

[1stdeadeye]

You're young you will get over it.

Seriously, time heals all wounds. It will hurt a little bit less each and every day. Good luck!!

[dyeguy65]

when she is close to getting off of work sit out by her car waiting for her

then spend as much time as you have left with each other till you leave

then just keep talking while your in college and you will still have a friendship with her that would be stronger then how it seems it would end up now.

better to keep her as a friend then to totally lose her.

i agree. tell her what your tellin us, about why you been acting..."weird". you say its an hour twenty minute drive to where your going? i live 3 hours away from some good friends and i get down there at least 4 if not more times a year. go visit her occasionally.

hope it all works out...

cheers

[paintballrulzs]

I have talked to her a lot over the last couple of days and she is saying how she "has made the biggest mistake of her life." I don't know if I should go back out with her if she wants to. I told her flat out if she wants to she has to show me, not just tell me I won't get hurt again. At some points in our converation is seems like she wants to and at others it seems like she doesn't know what she wants right now. I am so confused it is absurd.

[Warewolf50]

Well dude, about the distince thing I live an hour away from my gf, and im going into to senior year in hs next year. the reason we live so far apart is becasue i go to a privite school that is bout 45 mins south of my hosue, and she lives a bit south of the school. Its really nto hard to date a girl that lives bout anhour away. But i also be,lieve that when i go off to colelge im gonna break it off with the girl im dating at the time jsut so i can have a clean slate when i go off to school. But the way it is turnig out is the guirl im dating right now if the first serious one i have ever dated, and if it makes it threw next school year. Ending it at the end of next summer is gonna hurt.

[jwren00]

I know how you feel man, I went through the same thing after my freshman year of college. I was pretty depressed and lost a lot of weight, but eventually you WILL feel better. It's kind of ironic that you are asking for advice; you love her so much that it doesn't matter what anybody else tells you to do. Just don't let her play games with you, it will only extend your pain farther into the future.

[paintballrulzs]

Ya things don't look good. Basically she has her mind set on not being with me right now. She says she loves me and cares so much about me then I dont see how we are not together. I am slowly starting to ease the pain when I hang out with friends, it just sucks because I never saw this coming. I always thought I was going to marry this girl, I guess I was wrong. We still talk all the time, which may be a good thing or a bad thing. I just cna't go from talking to her 3 hours a day to not talking at all.

[guysdaman]

Okay...you never saw this coming...me either i just recently seperated from my wife of TEN years. Like someone said before relationships take work, alot of work, and if either of you are not willing to put your all into it, it will fail sooner or later. I have to agree with SCpoloRicker, let some distance in there! Go off and have some fun in college you should be like a kid in a candy store! Sometimes you just gotta remember **** Happens and there is nothing you can do about it. To quote one of my more favorite movie lines: "Get busy living or get busy dying!". Good luck and remember to HAVE FUN!