Jokes

[dj89]

lets see what you have

plz do not post unless you have a joke



A pompous minister was seated next to a TEXAN on a flight to Dallas. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The TEXAN asked for a whiskey and soda, which was brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the minister if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by brazen whores than let liquor touch my lips." The TEXAN looked at the minister, then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "I didn't know we had a choice."

[personman]

I've got a good one

this thread.

[Kevn 419]

i believe one of these already exist.

[dj89]

its old we need a new one

[RogueFactoryKid]

A man and a woman goto court over a child support case because they had recently filed divorce. After the drawn out process is nearing an end the judge finally asks the 2 Guardians to give the reasons they believe they should get custody of the children....
The woman goes first, "Your honor, i have walked 9 months with each of these kids inside me, nursing them and keeping them healthy. Then i birthed everyone into this beautiful world, I care for these kids and the custody i believe should solely be mine."

The man Stands up and says "Your Honor, if i go up to a soda machine and put my dollar in it and out pops a soda whos Soda is it? Mine or the Machines?

[TraXeR]

I'm in no way racist... but i still think it's funny. If anyone is offended, I will take them down.

What do you call a black abortion Clinic?
-Crime Stoppers.

Why does it snow in Canada?
-To remind people this is WHITE country.

How do you piss of a blind man?
-Stick a plunger in the toilet.

What do you tell a woman with 2 bruised eyes?
-Nothing, she's been told twice.

Here's the winner...

A girl and a guy are in highschool and they 'fornicate' every night. One day the guy decides to have a sleep over at his house, but he shares a bunkbed with his sister. The guy and girl call the top bunk so the sister can just 'lean' over and watch the 'festivities'. 'If you want it softer, say salami, if you want it harder, say pastrami' says the guy. All night long the little sister hears 'PASTRAMI, SALAMI, PASTRAMI, SALAMI!' etc etc.. Suddenly the girl and guy hear the sister yell out 'STOP MAKING SANDWICHES UP THERE! YOU'RE GETTING MAYONAISSE ALL OVER ME!'

...I retire