So a seal walks into a club...

[HoppysMag]

Two cows were in a field. One cow says, "Mooooo." The other says, "Jerk. I was going to say that."

Why did the chicken cross the road
To get to the other side

why didn the rat cross the road?
because it was stapled to the chicken

[BobTheCow]

Why did the woman cross the road?
Who cares, what the hell's she doing out of the kitchen?!?

Man I'm going to hell... like this dude -->

[Big'n slo]

This

[behemoth]

bahahh

[daviselk]

Two blondes were taking their first train trip to Warsaw on the train. A vendor came down the corridor selling bananas which they'd never seen before. Each bought one.The first one eagerly peeled the banana and bit into it just as the train went into a tunnel. When the train emerged from the tunnel, she looked across to her friend and said, "I wouldn't eat that if I were you."

"Why not?"

"I took one bite and went blind for half a minute."

Another good one..

A young couple, just married, were in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night.

As they undressed for bed, the husband, who was a big burly man, tossed his pants to his bride and said, "here put these on." She put them on, and the waist was twice the size of her body.

"I can't wear your pants," she said.

"That's right!!" said the husband, "and don't you forget it. I'm the man who wears the pants in this family!"

With that she flipped him her panties and said, "Try these on." He tried them on and found he could only get them on as far as his kneecaps.

He said, "How am i supposed to get into your panties!"

She said, "That's right, and that's the way it's going to be until you change your attitude..."

[Chipper]

A young couple, just married, were in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night.

As they undressed for bed, the husband, who was a big burly man, tossed his pants to his bride and said, "here put these on." She put them on, and the waist was twice the size of her body.

"I can't wear your pants," she said.

"That's right!!" said the husband, "and don't you forget it. I'm the man who wears the pants in this family!"

With that she flipped him her panties and said, "Try these on." He tried them on and found he could only get them on as far as his kneecaps.

He said, "How am i supposed to get into your panties!"

She said, "That's right, and that's the way it's going to be until you change your attitude..."

Not bad.

Ok, so there was this kid who went to school and his everyday bully came up to hime. His bully said "Give me your lunch money, Strawberry." The kid handed him the money and asked. "Whats a strawberry?" The bully continues to run off crying. The princible comes up to him and asks, "What did you do to him?" The kid says "I dont know but he called me a strawberry, what a strawberry?" The princible gasps and tells him to go home. When he gets home his mom walks up to him and asks him why he is home and he tells her his story. He then asks her "What is a strawberry?". His mom gasps and tells him to wait in his room till his dad came home. When his dad came home he comes up to him and tells him he is very upset with him and asks him if he know why, and the kid says "I don't know, What is a strawberry?" His father becomes very angry and tells the kid he is now disowned. As the kid is walking down the street a cop comes up to him and asks him what hes doin and the kid tells him his story and asks "What is a strawberry?" The cop continues to hall him off to jail. The judge asks him what he has to say and he says "What is a strawberry?" The judge gave hime 20 years in maximum confinement. In jail his gay cellmate asks him what hes in for and he tells him, of course with the usual "What is a strawberry?" The cellmate continues to rape and beat him. When he is released from jail he goes back to his old home to see no one there but his old neighbor, and when the neighbor asks for his story he tells it to him with the usual "What is a strawberry?" The neighbor just shakes his head saying "I don't know but the guy across the street probably does. As the kid is walking across the street he gets hit by a huge semi truck and dies. Moral of the story: Look both ways before crossing the street.


I can't believe I just typed that. BobTheCow you just got PWNED by the way.