Need English to French translation

[FactsOfLife]

Can someone who speaks french help me out here. I need the sentences below translated into French

1- My house is big. = We can all run inside and Surrender.

2-My house has nine rooms. note- not bedrooms = We can run around a lot and no one can find us.

3-I have a very large bedroom. = Everyone can hide in the same room when we're surrendering.

4-In my bedroom I have a television, a desk, a fan, and my paintball gear. = Maybe if they see all the good stuff they won't look for us.

5-In my bedroom I do not have curtains/blinds.-(either or) = It confuses the bad people looking for us hiding.

6-I like my bedroom. = It's a great place to surrender.

Please help me. For the children do it for the children. = Please hide us or the children will be forced to surrender.

:P

[Eagle]

Ribbit ribbit ribbit

[mcveighr]

They speak french in like 50 countries, dicks.

[FactsOfLife]

They speak french in like 50 countries, dicks.

no one cares.

[Lohman446]

They speak french in like 50 countries, dicks.

And in at least one at legal functions they then have to translate it into English for the rest of us to understand it . You think a State of the Union address is boring now... think if you had to listen to it twice. I wonder if he would get the translation right - and how does one translate things like misunderestimated

[tony3]

Online translators aren't very good, atleast alta vista isn't. I tried it on my homework once last year and my teacher wrote on top of my paper, don't use online translators