Long distance relationships?

[bornl33t]

Anyone? over say 3 states? how long did they last? does anyone know of a couple that got married etc?

[Python14]

Well, I'm not exactly the best source of info...but I will tell you this much. They can work. It takes alot of work, and devotion. The most important thing is communication.

And yes, I know several long distance relationships that have worked.

[tsc]

I had a relationship over 2500 miles.

For almost 2 years.

My current boyfriend had a long distance relationship for two and a half.

Yeah, they don't work out. You always end up finding someone local.

We're both perfect examples of that. We couldn't be happier-- it's been such a joy to have someone locally to confide in/share your life with.

[Target Practice]

I had a relationship over 2500 miles.

For almost 2 years.

My current boyfriend had a long distance relationship for two and a half.

Yeah, they don't work out. You always end up finding someone local.

We're both perfect examples of that. We couldn't be happier-- it's been such a joy to have someone locally to confide in/share your life with.

Yeah, what she said.

The thing about long-distance relationships is that you don't really spend time with the person. In that 2 and a half year relationship that tsc was talking about, I spent maybe a month, total, with my ex. I have two words for that:

SCREW THAT.

So, I think they can only work if they are temporary, and leading up to to something more permanent in the near future. Unless you are able to spend a bunch of time together, then I don't think it would work out.

[Caffiend]

like everyone else has said, it's all on how often you can see each other. While my wife and I were dating, she was in Texas, Florida, Washington state, and New Mexico, spread over 9 months for training. But the longest we went without seeing each other was about 2 months. Granted we were only together for the weekend, but it was worth it. And being able to talk helps TREMENDOUSLY.

[CasingBill]

My wife lived in Delaware while I was in NY. It only lasted 9 months though....and no I didn't get her pregnant.

[sharpshooter1286]

just a side note casing bill, you might wanna change ur sig

[Yamz]

long distance relationships work... sometimes... ask anyone in the military everytime we deploy its a long distance relationship take this for an example... i was in japan for 2 years while my girl friend traveled from GA to FL and later to HI... now im in CA and she is still in HI but before i went to Iraq she came to see me and the time spent together was some of the best... ok to sum this crap up long distance relationships can work with effort and with a long distance relationship the time spend apart makes the time together that much better...

the net helps a lot as well

[Thordic]

long distance relationships work... sometimes... ask anyone in the military

Every military guy I know who is married and/or every military wife I know at home either has had problems with cheating, or has come damn close.

The military is a damn poor example I think 75% of those long distance military relationships involve adultery on one end or another.

[CasingBill]

just a side note casing bill, you might wanna change ur sig

don't get cocky yet...its only 1 time

[Lohman446]

I am going to exempt military and established relationships from these, though those have there problems as well as stated.

The problem with long distance relationships (I met this really cool person who lives...) is this. You get what you call honeymoon syndrome. The first time you meet it is generally some place other than either of your homes (smart for security reasons) and you have honeymoon syndrome. You both devote everything to that person. Easy to do for a day, a week at a time. And your meetigns go like that and they go well. You get to know this person bit by bit, and you can overlook some pretty major flaws. This all works until one of you decides to move. Now most of the time this is not a move close situation, where you get to know them through normal dating - but a move in situation. If you are going to do this make sure when they mvoe they move into there own place - so you can get to know them further like a "normal" relationship, it is VERY important and a step often missed - I missed it. Make certain it is done in a way that you do not feel "responsible" for this relationship. Be prepared and understanding for either party to call off the relationship as in normal dating. Having them move in with you or you with them just causes all sorts of havoc. Sometimes you push the relationship forward, convinced you can make it work...


Long story short, I know. I married after a long distance relatinship, after moving in directly when I moved to that state. Twice I thought seriously about leaving, but felt committed to this relationship and did not. Marriage followed.... a divorce may have been quick afterwards but then a kid (I have no regrets.. I love my child dearly). Followed by her moving out, leaving the kids. She moved out of state and the long distance relationship happened again (Im an idiot and dont learn well) and all the flaws that I could not stand where overlooked. This is after she cheated on me and I bought the justifications. She moved back in... then cheated on me again and again. In the end it took five years for me to admit that I had let those short times of perfect happiness, mini honeymoons if you will... influence my decision.

[Caffiend]

Please don't use the military as an example for long distance relationships. It can work, but it takes alot of work. And you usually hear about the bad cases. "Most" military marriages usually aren't thought out too well or not taken seriously. "What happens TDY stays TDY" is great for some people, not all. Or they live in the dorms, get married at 19 to get out of the dorms after "dating" for only few months. Then they leave for anywhere from 3-6 months a year. My squadron alone has seen divorce rates as high as 50%. I'm sure some places have been higher. But then again, some marriages just work out great, it's all in the two people involved.

All that being said, it's going to be up to the two of you.

[CasingBill]

Please don't use the military as an example for long distance relationships. It can work, but it takes alot of work. And you usually hear about the bad cases. "Most" military marriages usually aren't thought out too well or not taken seriously. "What happens TDY stays TDY" is great for some people, not all. Or they live in the dorms, get married at 19 to get out of the dorms after "dating" for only few months. Then they leave for anywhere from 3-6 months a year. My squadron alone has seen divorce rates as high as 50%. I'm sure some places have been higher. But then again, some marriages just work out great, it's all in the two people involved.

All that being said, it's going to be up to the two of you.

50% is the national average...so your squadron sounds about right

[vf-xx]

Long distance relationships can work, but they're tough. I'm currently in one right now.

We started at the same college so we got to spend alot of time together at first. Then I worked at home one summer and then worked in Houston during the fall semester. We were basically apart for about 9 months. It didn't work out too well overall and we broke up shortly after that. Then, we got back together the following fall and now we're engaged.

Since then we've lived in seperate states (Texas and Indiana) for over a year, averaging visits 1 every 2-3 months. Let me tell you, this is a real PITA.

If it's meant to be, then it'll work out. If not then it wont.


Expect to spend a LOT of time on the phone. I average at least 1 hour a day on the phone with my fiancee. Fortunately we both have sprint cell phones and can call each other for free.

I'll be really happy when I get a job and we can be together more often.

[Caffiend]

50% is the national average...so your squadron sounds about right

really?? God that's sad.