So, I'm fixing my toilet because the ball thing broke off. I figure, I just need a couple hours to get what I want for my parents and I can work on that for a while. I give up on it and the stupid thing won't flush yet. I decide to go to Best Buy and get the stuff I was planning on. I see people walking back looking dejected, "I just knew we'd get there right when they closed." Well, that told me to get back into my car and find another store. But, it was only 6PM! You're supposed to be open until like 8 or 9!
Then I remember when I worked in a retail store, we closed at 6PM for XMas. It was kinda funny seeing pissed off people outside knocking on the window when the sign clearly said: CLOSED. Suckers! Well, now I can relate with their predicament and maybe I should have let a couple of the desperate looking ones into the store.
Wal-Mart should be open - they're open 24 hours. Wrong! "Attention shoppers, the registers will be closed in 10 minutes." 10 minutes?! I just walked in! So, I walk right out the door. Now I'm getting worried, and I start thinking... "there's gotta be a Jewish owned store around here somewhere." Then I realize that it would make no difference because they'd probably close up shop too since it could cost more to stay open than to sell stuff to some schmuck who didn't buy gifts early. But there's gotta be a market for last minute shoppers... somebody has got to be open! Perhaps my toilet could have waited and I would have had plenty of time - I have another bathroom after all, so it wasn't like an emergency.
I hit Target - same thing! But this time a woman walking out of the store looks at me pitifully, and tells me it's closed. "Oh, and I bet you think it's funny cuz you got that Target bag full of stuff and I don't," I thought. Well, actually she was nice enough to tell me that some other shopper said K-Mart was supposed to be open until 9. Little did she know that she saved me, because I would not have thought about K-Mart and I was starting to think to myself: What do gas stations carry?
I've never seen a gas station carry XMas cards, but I thought of a possible solution. I didn't send my XMas cards yet to my sister and my brother-in-law, so I could commandeer those. But no matter how many ways I mixed it up in my head, I could not come up with an appropriate combination of cards that I could give to my parents and grandma. I could give a good card to my mom, a decent one to my dad, and an inappropriate one with monkeys on it to my grandma. Why was it that I bought the monkey one early, but not the rest? Well, it is pretty damn funny, but that wasn't going to work.
I arrive at K-Mart - lo and behold!!! They are OPEN! And... they are PACKED. Well, I guess I was right - there was a market for people like me and K-Mart was monopolizing. My mom wanted a Ricky Martin CD. How could they not have any?! I fought my way through a bunch of people only to discover that Ricky Martin has waned in popularity so much that K-Mart won't bother with him? Damn you Ricky Martin! I couldn't find a gift for my dad that I was looking for, but then I saw something very impressive: The Display-O-SpiderMan 2 thing by the DVDs.
I picked up the Collector's Edition, and remembered they had not even seen SpiderMan 1 yet. I found the Full Screen version, looked all around for the Wide Screen with no luck. Who the heck uses Full Screen still anyway - if it weren't for those sucky people I would have been able to find the Wide Screen version so they would not have to stock both. Get new TVs people, come on! Well, maybe they won't notice. Before I left, I found some good XMas cards - solving that problem.
I leave K-Mart, call my mom to tell her I was going to drop by that night - and I can hear home videos of XMas in the background. "We got you a lot of stuff when you were a kid." I was feeling kinda guilty and started to change the topic from XMas to my escapades with my toilet - as a distraction, But that didn't work long, and I wished I had got something more thoughtful than Spiderman - so I hurried back to K-Mart and got a couple more good DVDs. I figured I could make up for a lack of thoughtfulness with sheer volume.
I've got some last minute wrapping to do still... hope you all found what you're looking for, and have a safe and happy XMas.
Then I remember when I worked in a retail store, we closed at 6PM for XMas. It was kinda funny seeing pissed off people outside knocking on the window when the sign clearly said: CLOSED. Suckers! Well, now I can relate with their predicament and maybe I should have let a couple of the desperate looking ones into the store.
Wal-Mart should be open - they're open 24 hours. Wrong! "Attention shoppers, the registers will be closed in 10 minutes." 10 minutes?! I just walked in! So, I walk right out the door. Now I'm getting worried, and I start thinking... "there's gotta be a Jewish owned store around here somewhere." Then I realize that it would make no difference because they'd probably close up shop too since it could cost more to stay open than to sell stuff to some schmuck who didn't buy gifts early. But there's gotta be a market for last minute shoppers... somebody has got to be open! Perhaps my toilet could have waited and I would have had plenty of time - I have another bathroom after all, so it wasn't like an emergency.
I hit Target - same thing! But this time a woman walking out of the store looks at me pitifully, and tells me it's closed. "Oh, and I bet you think it's funny cuz you got that Target bag full of stuff and I don't," I thought. Well, actually she was nice enough to tell me that some other shopper said K-Mart was supposed to be open until 9. Little did she know that she saved me, because I would not have thought about K-Mart and I was starting to think to myself: What do gas stations carry?
I've never seen a gas station carry XMas cards, but I thought of a possible solution. I didn't send my XMas cards yet to my sister and my brother-in-law, so I could commandeer those. But no matter how many ways I mixed it up in my head, I could not come up with an appropriate combination of cards that I could give to my parents and grandma. I could give a good card to my mom, a decent one to my dad, and an inappropriate one with monkeys on it to my grandma. Why was it that I bought the monkey one early, but not the rest? Well, it is pretty damn funny, but that wasn't going to work.
I arrive at K-Mart - lo and behold!!! They are OPEN! And... they are PACKED. Well, I guess I was right - there was a market for people like me and K-Mart was monopolizing. My mom wanted a Ricky Martin CD. How could they not have any?! I fought my way through a bunch of people only to discover that Ricky Martin has waned in popularity so much that K-Mart won't bother with him? Damn you Ricky Martin! I couldn't find a gift for my dad that I was looking for, but then I saw something very impressive: The Display-O-SpiderMan 2 thing by the DVDs.
I picked up the Collector's Edition, and remembered they had not even seen SpiderMan 1 yet. I found the Full Screen version, looked all around for the Wide Screen with no luck. Who the heck uses Full Screen still anyway - if it weren't for those sucky people I would have been able to find the Wide Screen version so they would not have to stock both. Get new TVs people, come on! Well, maybe they won't notice. Before I left, I found some good XMas cards - solving that problem.
I leave K-Mart, call my mom to tell her I was going to drop by that night - and I can hear home videos of XMas in the background. "We got you a lot of stuff when you were a kid." I was feeling kinda guilty and started to change the topic from XMas to my escapades with my toilet - as a distraction, But that didn't work long, and I wished I had got something more thoughtful than Spiderman - so I hurried back to K-Mart and got a couple more good DVDs. I figured I could make up for a lack of thoughtfulness with sheer volume.
I've got some last minute wrapping to do still... hope you all found what you're looking for, and have a safe and happy XMas.
rockstar
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