Why Santa Can't Exist

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  • SAW
    It's a trap!
    • Nov 2004
    • 846

    #1

    Why Santa Can't Exist

    Found this on another forum...enjoy!





    1. No known species of reindeer can fly, but there are 300,000 species of living organims yet to be classified. Although most of these are insects and bacteria, this does not rule out flying reindeer.

    2. According to the Population Refeence Bureau, 378 million people celebrate Christmas worldwide. With an average of 3.5 children per home, that's 91.8 million homes for Santa to visit.

    3. Thanks to different time zones, Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, assuming he travels east to west. This works out to 822.6 visits per second. That means for each celebrating household with at least one good child in it, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, place presents under the tree, eat the cookies and return to the sleigh.

    4. Assuming that all 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed throughout the earth, the total trip time will be 75.5 million miles. That means Santa's sleigh must move at 650 miles per second, 3000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth (the Ulysses space probe) moves at 27.4 miles per second.

    5. Assuming that each child get nothing more than a medium-sized Lego set (weighing 2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying a payload of 321,300 tons, not counting jolly ol' Saint Nick himself.

    6. A standard reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even if flying reindeer might pull 10 times more than a normal reindeer, Santa would need 214,200 reindeer to pull the sleigh. The reindeer, payload, Santa and sleigh would therefore weigh more than 353,430 tons. This is four times the weight of the Q.E. II cruise ship.

    7. This 353,430 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates tremendous air resistance, heating the reindeer in the same manner as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would therefore absorb 14.3 quintillion joule of energy, per second, each.

    8. The lead reindeer, as a result will burst into flames, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating massive sonic booms in their wakes. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 0.00426 seconds. Santa will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500 times greater than gravity. Assuming that Santa weighs 250 pounds, he would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,375,000 pounds of centrifugal force.
    Back at this...
  • ScatterPlot
    Not pop, it's all Coke
    • Jan 2002
    • 1960

    #2
    (sniff)But, but, but...
    Santa's Magic! (sniff)


    AIM-bertmcmahan
    My email:[email protected]
    My feedback thread
    Good traders: richie,Roguefactor,moufo48,845,brtncstm160,vf-xx

    Mags don't shoot darts... they shoot nails.
    I used to be bertmcmahan, that I did.

    Comment

    • TheDuelist
      Office use only.
      • Oct 2002
      • 671

      #3
      Wow....have we lost faith in PFM?

      Comment

      • Bolter
        Hardcore casual
        • May 2003
        • 1223

        #4
        but.....he has to exist.....
        Bolter
        Storm Uk

        Comment

        • maglover728
          Boomer!
          • Apr 2004
          • 1093

          #5
          have you considered that he may use out sourcing?
          stay proud, Stay mechanical!

          And my feed back is at: http://www.automags.org/forums/showthread.php?p=1771790#post1771790

          Comment

          • 1stdeadeye
            Still around????
            • Jun 2002
            • 8501

            #6
            You suck!

            Comment

            • cphilip
              Former Moderator

              • Jun 2026
              • 16216

              #7
              The spirit of Santa exists in every single one of us... so there!


              AGD, where we are so good we can do it with only ONE tube!

              cphilip.com

              Comment

              • LittlePaintballBoy

                #8
                "The best way of spreading Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear."

                Comment

                • fcpchop
                  Registered User
                  • Nov 2002
                  • 1968

                  #9
                  REPOST This was posted last christmas, it is interesting though. Im surprised no-one remembered this is a repost.
                  Bad Traders: Brice34, complete total fraud, lied constantly and stole 60$ for an egg

                  Comment

                  • -=Squid=-

                    #10
                    Originally posted by fcpchop
                    REPOST This was posted last christmas, it is interesting though. Im surprised no-one remembered this is a repost.
                    Duh you idiot, this was posted a year ago, what are you thinking?

                    - Goro

                    Comment

                    • LittlePaintballBoy

                      #11

                      Comment

                      • SCpoloRicker
                        HA HA I'm custom!!1
                        • Jan 2004
                        • 4375

                        #12
                        Originally posted by maglover728
                        have you considered that he may use out sourcing?
                        *East Indian accent*
                        "Thank you for calling Dell, can you hold please?"
                        "Alright, where was I? That's right, Squid... definately naughty..."
                        /tosses half-mill Vik in sleigh
                        "Thank you for holding. How may I help you?"

                        //just sayin'
                        God....I guess I was probably returning videotapes.

                        Comment

                        • skife
                          Unregistered User
                          • Feb 2003
                          • 2769

                          #13
                          Originally posted by LittlePaintballBoy

                          that calzone = small

                          i'll post a pic of mine when i get home.




                          [21:00] < FunkTehChillinMunky > I've got a Warped Sportz Dark Talon

                          Comment

                          • -=Squid=-

                            #14
                            Originally posted by SCpoloRicker
                            *East Indian accent*
                            "Thank you for calling Dell, can you hold please?"
                            "Alright, where was I? That's right, Squid... definately naughty..."
                            /tosses half-mill Vik in sleigh
                            "Thank you for holding. How may I help you?"

                            //just sayin'
                            Pffft... Naughty or not, my Christmas ruled your face.

                            - Goro

                            Comment

                            • LittlePaintballBoy

                              #15
                              Well.... did you get a QUESIDILLA MAKER?!

                              Comment

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