Why Santa Does Exist
1. You answered it yourself...there are 300,000 species yet to be classified. Obviously flying reindeer are one of them
2. As anyone with children can attest to, at least half of the children in families celebrating Christmas are on the naughty list. That cuts the number of homes down to 45.9 million. At least half of these homes no longer have children young enough to receive gifts from Santa Claus. That cuts the number down to 22.95 million homes. Of these 22.95 homes at least half of them live in apartments, condos or trailer parks. Cutting the number of stops down to 11.475 million. Clearly a workable number for a magical man like Santa Claus.
3. This now works out to approximately 102.8 visits per second and if you have ever seen how Santa divides time, you would understand why this is not an issue.
4. You can not assume that the 11.475 million stops are evenly distributed through out the earth. There are several countries that don't even celebrate Christmas (sad as that makes Santa, it is unfortunately true).
5. The weight of each child's gift's are insignificant. Santa has a magical bag that is approximately 6 feet tall and 6 feet in diameter. All the toys in his bag are shrunk to fit into the bag and only go back to normal size and weight after distribution. Therefore, the bag only weighs as much as any bag of that size would filled with toys. Depending on the toys it ranges from year to year from about 70 to 150 pounds.
6. As these are not 'standard reindeer' and Santa's bag only weighs a hundred pounds or so, this is really a moot point. However if you do the math, you'll see that 9 reindeer can certainly pull the sleigh...as they have for hundreds of years.
7. Again, since the sleigh does not weigh anywhere near this much, and does not have to travel anywhere near this fast since the number of stops is much less than previously figured. It does not create the kind of air resistance spoken of below.
8. The lead reindeer, (Rudolph) is has very unique body mass (as you may have guessed from the glowing nose). He is able to absorb massive amounts of heat which is the reason his nose glows...it helps dissipate the heat and pressure. We refuse to discuss Santa's weight...that would be rude and really isn't anyone's business except his and Mrs. Claus.
If you insist on continuing to question his weight and ability to do his job, Santa will have no choice but to remove your name from the NICE list and move you to the NAUGHTY list...decreasing the number of stops he will have to make next year. Incidentally, referring to his weight as a reason he can't do his job is discrimination...aren't you an Equal Opportunity Employer?
Thank you for your questions and concerns,
Santa's Public Relations Office
Written by my wife!
1. You answered it yourself...there are 300,000 species yet to be classified. Obviously flying reindeer are one of them
2. As anyone with children can attest to, at least half of the children in families celebrating Christmas are on the naughty list. That cuts the number of homes down to 45.9 million. At least half of these homes no longer have children young enough to receive gifts from Santa Claus. That cuts the number down to 22.95 million homes. Of these 22.95 homes at least half of them live in apartments, condos or trailer parks. Cutting the number of stops down to 11.475 million. Clearly a workable number for a magical man like Santa Claus.
3. This now works out to approximately 102.8 visits per second and if you have ever seen how Santa divides time, you would understand why this is not an issue.
4. You can not assume that the 11.475 million stops are evenly distributed through out the earth. There are several countries that don't even celebrate Christmas (sad as that makes Santa, it is unfortunately true).
5. The weight of each child's gift's are insignificant. Santa has a magical bag that is approximately 6 feet tall and 6 feet in diameter. All the toys in his bag are shrunk to fit into the bag and only go back to normal size and weight after distribution. Therefore, the bag only weighs as much as any bag of that size would filled with toys. Depending on the toys it ranges from year to year from about 70 to 150 pounds.
6. As these are not 'standard reindeer' and Santa's bag only weighs a hundred pounds or so, this is really a moot point. However if you do the math, you'll see that 9 reindeer can certainly pull the sleigh...as they have for hundreds of years.
7. Again, since the sleigh does not weigh anywhere near this much, and does not have to travel anywhere near this fast since the number of stops is much less than previously figured. It does not create the kind of air resistance spoken of below.
8. The lead reindeer, (Rudolph) is has very unique body mass (as you may have guessed from the glowing nose). He is able to absorb massive amounts of heat which is the reason his nose glows...it helps dissipate the heat and pressure. We refuse to discuss Santa's weight...that would be rude and really isn't anyone's business except his and Mrs. Claus.
If you insist on continuing to question his weight and ability to do his job, Santa will have no choice but to remove your name from the NICE list and move you to the NAUGHTY list...decreasing the number of stops he will have to make next year. Incidentally, referring to his weight as a reason he can't do his job is discrimination...aren't you an Equal Opportunity Employer?
Thank you for your questions and concerns,
Santa's Public Relations Office
Written by my wife!
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