So, I attacked a company today

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  • SCpoloRicker
    HA HA I'm custom!!1
    • Jan 2004
    • 4375

    #1

    So, I attacked a company today

    aka "Don't mess with Marketing gophers"

    I'm feeling pretty good about myself.

    The office manager comes to me with a bill from a phone company that's slammed us. You know, they call, talk to someone, and then pretend that we've green lighted a meaningless charge. Bastards!

    So I get the bill. I call the customer service number. The recording says to leave a number; they'll call back in 2 days. Right.

    Stupidly though, they left a fax number. It's just like they had dropped their pants and exposed their flaccid genitals for my abuse. Time for a humiliating kick in the corporate crotch.

    I prepare a document on my computer. It has my name and phone number in large letters. Beneath that, I insert a large, toner-sucking graphic. I then copy the page and re-insert it into the document. 60 times.

    Next I print this document....to my faxmodem. From there, the 60 pages are directed towards their unsuspecting fax machine. I hit the resubmit button 5 or 6 times for good measure, thus queuing about 300 pages. I wait.

    About 20 minutes later, an anxious voice on my phone asks for my account number. From his pain reflected in his tone, I know that my well placed kick to their firms groin has met the exposed meat. Pain and embarrassment is being felt and spread around. He quickly tells me that my account has been cleared and canceled, and we don't have to pay the bill. I smirk as I hear him squirm, his humiliation complete.

    Fax machines are the testicles of just about any company. If a company gives you grief, attack the fax, and no matter how big they are, they'll drop to the ground, curl up in a fetal position, and beg for mercy.

    It always works.
    God....I guess I was probably returning videotapes.
  • OysterBoy
    Fatty McChubbercookie
    • Feb 2004
    • 1409

    #2
    Absolutely beautiful.

    I surrender all my cool points to you.

    Unicorns are people too ...
    Old Narhwals are people too ...
    Grizzly Bears are people too ...
    Caterpillars are people too ...
    Baby Peacocks are people too ...
    lew "My hand was a little shaky and I released too soon."

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    • lopxtc
      Unix Geek
      • Oct 2001
      • 2706

      #3
      I used to get allot of calls from a fax machine to my home number ... thankfully the number on their end showed up in my caller ID. So what I did was spell out;

      "THIS IS NOT A FAX MACHINE!"

      One letter per page, 10pt font, centered left/right top/bottom, white text, black background ... after a couple sends I never got another call from that fax machine again.

      Aaron
      Team Managed Aggression, Missouri Paintball

      Pround owner of a 2003 Shocker, and AO.org user ... an almost unheard of combo.

      "Love, Peace, and Shonen Knife!"
      AOLIM - lopxtc

      Comment

      • Thordic
        AFTICA
        • May 2001
        • 5986

        #4
        Never tried this, but heard it works.

        Take 5-6 sheets of paper, and tape them into one strip of paper. Feed it into the fax machine, then when the first page comes through, tape it the last page of the strip. It SHOULD just keep sending until you break the loop. "Set it and forget it".

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        • SCpoloRicker
          HA HA I'm custom!!1
          • Jan 2004
          • 4375

          #5
          Originally posted by SCpoloRicker
          Next I print this document...to my faxmodem . From there, the 60 pages are directed towards their unsuspecting fax machine. I hit the resubmit button 5 or 6 times for good measure, thus queuing about 300 pages.
          Taping works as well, I guess.
          God....I guess I was probably returning videotapes.

          Comment

          • Lohman446
            Useful posts: 7
            • Jun 2003
            • 9315

            #6
            LOL... my calls to a company that did this went like this

            "I want to talk to a supervisor"
            "I can help you"
            "Whats your name"
            "John"
            "John.. what's your last name"
            "We don't give that out"
            "I see... I am recording this conversation, I need to make you aware of that"
            "I do not give you permission to record this conversation... (some long drawn out thing)"
            "Fine John... I'm calling my district attorney and attorney general tomorrow and filing fraud charges for slamming, after which I am seeing a civil lawyer and seeking punitive damages.. I have tried to work with your company and you have been uncooperative"
            "Umm.. let me get a supervisor"

            It got fixed quite quick
            "Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. Its not" - Dr Suess

            Comment

            • SlipknotX556
              Registered User
              • Nov 2001
              • 5054

              #7
              If someone did that to me, its called shut the fax machine off...

              Tiger Stripe Barrel Condoms F/S
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              • wanna-b-ballin'
                Pump Player
                • Jan 2005
                • 1380

                #8
                so..... what was the toner-sucking graphic?
                upgrade fund: $145

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                • ScatterPlot
                  Not pop, it's all Coke
                  • Jan 2002
                  • 1960

                  #9
                  Go out to any store that sells computer stuff and printers, and get some banner paper. I'ts regular paper, but already all hooked together for you. Or you could use some of that old-skool printer paper.
                  AIM-bertmcmahan
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                  I used to be bertmcmahan, that I did.

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                  • Linkwarner
                    Spartans
                    • Jun 2004
                    • 337

                    #10
                    Evil people evil, whenever I get calls like that at work, I say, "Hold on let me get my manager." leave for a hour, come back, check if there still on the phone, if not, hang up, wait for them to call again, at this time they are furious and steaming, and Scream at me to get the manager, I repeat the message.....wash, rinse, repeat...

                    Comment

                    • Carbon
                      Word!
                      • Jan 2003
                      • 1589

                      #11
                      Ricker That Effing Rulez!

                      ...ever in the continual search of time dilation.

                      Emag 4.0 "I love the way you turn me on"

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                      • Automaggin2
                        Registered User
                        • Sep 2002
                        • 2506

                        #12



                        Wow! That is awsome. I do have access to fax machines in my dorm......hmmmm.........
                        Dub V

                        Where greatness is learned
                        and couches are burned

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                        • maglover728
                          Boomer!
                          • Apr 2004
                          • 1093

                          #13
                          That is about the most creative way I have heard. What doest it cost, phone wise, to xmit a fax though?
                          stay proud, Stay mechanical!

                          And my feed back is at: http://www.automags.org/forums/showthread.php?p=1771790#post1771790

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                          • teufelhunden
                            Registered Bamf
                            • Jul 2003
                            • 2691

                            #14
                            The same that it does to use a regular phone; the phone company doesn't know its a fax line.
                            SwallowBleach: It's good for you.

                            www.seckspb.com: for all your third party needs


                            Where have all the scooters gone? -BobTheCow

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                            • SCpoloRicker
                              HA HA I'm custom!!1
                              • Jan 2004
                              • 4375

                              #15
                              Originally posted by teufelhunden
                              The same that it does to use a regular phone; the phone company doesn't know its a fax line.
                              I'm not positive, but I think it was over IP (teh interwebs). Fax is same as phone.
                              God....I guess I was probably returning videotapes.

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