GM vs Bill Gates

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  • dj89
    2003 Chevy 2500HD
    • Mar 2003
    • 4275

    #1

    GM vs Bill Gates

    " For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way
    computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At a recent computer expo
    (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto
    industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer
    industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to
    the gallon."

    In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release
    stating:

    If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars
    with the following characteristics:

    1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

    2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a
    new car.

    3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would
    have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the
    car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some
    reason you would simply accept this.

    4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your
    car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to
    reinstall the engine.

    5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable,
    five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five
    percent of the roads.

    6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be
    replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning
    light.

    7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

    8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and
    refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned
    the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna

    9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to
    drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same
    manner as the old car.

    10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off. laugh.gif "
    "STAY OUT OF SMART PARTS SECTIONS.
    ANYONE CAUGHT STARTING *poof* IS GONE, PERIOD.
    THIS IS LAW"-PBN MOD
    GITRDONE!!!!!
    Tunamart for all of your mag needs
    Team Magfiea

    Long Live Tom Kaye
    Long Live The Mag
  • teufelhunden
    Registered Bamf
    • Jul 2003
    • 2691

    #2


    Got that right.

    By like, 3476 years.
    SwallowBleach: It's good for you.

    www.seckspb.com: for all your third party needs


    Where have all the scooters gone? -BobTheCow

    Comment

    • matt-o
      eater of babies
      • Aug 2003
      • 910

      #3
      i found it funny, im sure they took it uber-seriously though
      WAS'ed angel speed

      Comment

      • Hexis
        Green Mag Freak
        • Sep 2001
        • 2427

        #4
        I think they got over it last century when it circulated the first time.

        Comment

        • gc82000
          LNIB just a few scratches
          • Mar 2004
          • 1346

          #5
          Originally posted by Hexis
          I think they got over it last century when it circulated the first time.
          Are you sure??

          I still find it fuuny Especially number seven.
          I am a declared Carb lover.

          Member and president of the Anti-Atkins Group.

          Advocate for the promotion of Rice, the truest sticky icky.

          Comment

          • Hexis
            Green Mag Freak
            • Sep 2001
            • 2427

            #6
            Pretty sure. Decade old jokes tend to not sting so much.

            FYI this originally made the rounds when Windows 95 came out, yes, ten years (a lil less) ago. There was much confusion about the "Start" button being the way to log out. Heck, COMDEX didn't even happen this year.

            Comment

            • Chris42050
              Splatmaster Tech
              • Feb 2004
              • 567

              #7
              You people are hilarious. He even puts a disclaimer and you still b____ (female Dog) about it being old. What is so hard about hitting the Back button on your computer instead of the post button. And, why do you ALL have to whine about it. One person is plenty. Do you feel cool because you have allready heard this before. Do you really have to chime in everytime you have heard or read something before. JUST HIT THE BACK BUTTON. Its not hard.

              Comment

              • Hexis
                Green Mag Freak
                • Sep 2001
                • 2427

                #8
                Pot, Kettle, Black?

                Comment

                • Target Practice
                  irc.zirc.org:6667 = chat!
                  • Nov 2003
                  • 3180

                  #9
                  People should need a license to use the Internet to prevent this kind of thing.


                  "Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats." --Henry Louis Mencken.

                  Comment

                  • teufelhunden
                    Registered Bamf
                    • Jul 2003
                    • 2691

                    #10
                    Originally posted by Chris42050
                    You people are hilarious. He even puts a disclaimer and you still b____ (female Dog) about it being old. What is so hard about hitting the Back button on your computer instead of the post button. And, why do you ALL have to whine about it. One person is plenty. Do you feel cool because you have allready heard this before. Do you really have to chime in everytime you have heard or read something before. JUST HIT THE BACK BUTTON. Its not hard.
                    Originally posted by Hexis
                    Pot, Kettle, Black?

                    What he said.



                    And also because it's dj89.
                    SwallowBleach: It's good for you.

                    www.seckspb.com: for all your third party needs


                    Where have all the scooters gone? -BobTheCow

                    Comment

                    • Target Practice
                      irc.zirc.org:6667 = chat!
                      • Nov 2003
                      • 3180

                      #11
                      Originally posted by teufelhunden
                      And also because it's dj89.

                      Yeah, that too.


                      "Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats." --Henry Louis Mencken.

                      Comment

                      • MantisMag
                        Dim Sum
                        • Dec 2001
                        • 1895

                        #12
                        well it WAS funny when i heard it five years ago. of course gm never issued any such press release. bill gates may or may not have said his part but he definitely wouldn't have named gm specifically.

                        Comment

                        • Chris42050
                          Splatmaster Tech
                          • Feb 2004
                          • 567

                          #13
                          Originally posted by Hexis
                          Pot, Kettle, Black?
                          I was fully aware of my hypocrisy, hence the smiley. Yet my question remains. Why does it take so many thread Nazi's to tell someone thier thread is a repost? I think 1 is plenty.

                          Comment

                          • Hexis
                            Green Mag Freak
                            • Sep 2001
                            • 2427

                            #14
                            Calling a joke this old a "repost" is unfair (in a bad way) to reposts everywhere. This joke is so old it predates common forum use on the Internet. This (and any other similar) forum would be toast if folks reposted every odd joke that has ever circulated the intenet.

                            Comment

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