AN issue for KoSMoKeNNys 2008 Election Platform
Ok, I dont know if its the beer talking or the fact that I got off working a 24 hour shift this morning and havent gone to bed yet, but Ive been sitting here playing some good ol quake 3 and had a realization. Surely at least a few of the smarter people around here are familiar with the Ansari X prize recently having been awarded and Virgin Enterprises summary pledge to make commercial space travel a reality. This, along with "President" Bush's (I STILL DEMAND A RECOUNT) declaration of increasing space research with a goal of reaching Mars, has led me to the conclusion that somewhere over the horizon there will inevitably be commercialized space stations of varying degrees. It is my pleasure to announce that a vote for KoSMoKeNNy for president will be a vote for achieving No/Low Gravity paintball. Personally while I find the appeal of low gravity paintball to be greater than that of no gravity paintball, it will no doubt take several more hours of research before mankind is able to manipulate fields of gravity to that end. It is my belief that introducing a 3rd dimension into the battlefield of paintball will revolutionize how we play, entertain, and hopefully vote. 
The benefits would be numerous:
Increased speed for all involved- Thats right, now fat people can play front too! And as agile as a pregnant gazelle!
Increased range- No more crazy technical gadgets like flatlines necessary to alter the trajectory. Though within the confines of a space station, this would more than likely be applied to increase efficiency, as air is a precious resource in space (For now...)
Crazy booster pad thingies like in Quake- Now everyone can be like Spiderman!
A "You must be this tall to enter" Stick- This prevents little twelve year olds whos mommy bought them a timmy from Agg'ing up the place. (sorry to offend any 12 year olds out there, but you cant vote anyway. And when you are 18 or older, youll look back and understand what Im talking about) Exceptions can be made for vertically challenged adults, provided your Napoleon complex isnt too annoying.
So basically, for those of you too lazy to/incapable to(of) read(ing), this basically just says that me thinks paintball will be played in space during our lifetime. Except for maybe Army, hes old. Wouldnt that be cool?
The benefits would be numerous: Increased speed for all involved- Thats right, now fat people can play front too! And as agile as a pregnant gazelle!
Increased range- No more crazy technical gadgets like flatlines necessary to alter the trajectory. Though within the confines of a space station, this would more than likely be applied to increase efficiency, as air is a precious resource in space (For now...)
Crazy booster pad thingies like in Quake- Now everyone can be like Spiderman!
A "You must be this tall to enter" Stick- This prevents little twelve year olds whos mommy bought them a timmy from Agg'ing up the place. (sorry to offend any 12 year olds out there, but you cant vote anyway. And when you are 18 or older, youll look back and understand what Im talking about) Exceptions can be made for vertically challenged adults, provided your Napoleon complex isnt too annoying.
So basically, for those of you too lazy to/incapable to(of) read(ing), this basically just says that me thinks paintball will be played in space during our lifetime. Except for maybe Army, hes old. Wouldnt that be cool?
Comment