Funny joke

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  • grw4w34
    party boy
    • Jan 2001
    • 297

    #1

    Funny joke

    I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
    much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
    never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

    FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into
    bed.

    Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel
    like it, I just want you to hold me."

    I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

    So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
    "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
    to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look
    by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in
    the bedroom?"

    Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

    The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
    her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
    unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
    several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to
    take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
    compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We
    went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond
    earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was
    one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because
    she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play
    tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
    She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
    Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
    dear, let's go to the cashier."

    I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel
    like it."

    Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
    WHAT?"

    I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're
    just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy
    your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she
    was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and
    not for the things I buy you?"

    Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.
  • Jeffy-CanCon
    veteran rec player
    • May 2003
    • 1309

    #2





    Jeff P
    Secretary
    The Canadian Contingent Paintball Club
    Cousins - EMR - PaintStorm - Odyssey - StraightShot

    Comment

    • fire1811
      Firefighter
      • Nov 2002
      • 4930

      #3
      lol thats funny
      I might try that........well maybe not I like living
      "The Few Who Do Are The Envy Of The Many Who Only Stand And Watch"

      Alway Remember *343*

      Si vis pacem, para bellum

      Comment

      • oneworld
        i poke badgers with spoons
        • May 2004
        • 1584

        #4
        Originally posted by Jeffy-CanCon




        q.f.t
        CLICK FOR FEEDBACK!


        teufelhunden is my hero!

        Comment

        • BigBadBeDDy
          Registered User
          • Dec 2004
          • 65

          #5
          dead man walking

          Comment

          • Soopa Villain17
            beshemoths best friend
            • Jan 2005
            • 2393

            #6
            thats hilarious
            my ao feedback http://www.automags.org/forums/showthread.php?t=167490

            Comment

            • bam wannabe
              one lazy mofo
              • Feb 2005
              • 417

              #7



              u are my hero!
              "wtf is a CKY!!??!!"
              -Don Vito

              Comment

              • gc82000
                LNIB just a few scratches
                • Mar 2004
                • 1346

                #8
                Originally posted by BigBadBeDDy
                dead man walking

                That is what I was thinking.
                I am a declared Carb lover.

                Member and president of the Anti-Atkins Group.

                Advocate for the promotion of Rice, the truest sticky icky.

                Comment

                • sabrefanpc
                  beach bum
                  • Jan 2004
                  • 338

                  #9
                  damn. my 2 year old nephew will have sex befor you do again....

                  oh, and as I found out the hard way a tennis bracelet has nothing to do with tennis. it is just a bunch of channel set diamonds. (read as =$$$$$)

                  Comment

                  • ICP
                    Who needs two tubes??
                    • Feb 2005
                    • 424

                    #10
                    That is hilarious I'm printing that one and taking it to work.





                    Originally posted by sabrefanpc
                    damn. my 2 year old nephew will have sex befor you do again....

                    oh, and as I found out the hard way a tennis bracelet has nothing to do with tennis. it is just a bunch of channel set diamonds. (read as =$$$$$)
                    SO TRUE!!!

                    Comment

                    • BD_Paintball
                      UW-Whitewater Paintball
                      • May 2003
                      • 2268

                      #11
                      that was a very funny story. and i have a feeling that you will not get any for a long time
                      My Guns: chrome and black pump mag
                      -black 2k sniper 2
                      -32* vision imp with ups, ECS, reloader B
                      -was'd imp w/ i-frame and all ups, warp feed
                      -88/3000 and 48/3000 tanks

                      AIM: Paintball1084

                      my feedback

                      Comment

                      • grw4w34
                        party boy
                        • Jan 2001
                        • 297

                        #12
                        haha, i wish i was clever enough to think of that, but im not. i found it somewhere and wanted to share it.

                        Comment

                        • SpecialBlend2786
                          Registered User
                          • Jun 2003
                          • 4023

                          #13
                          classic

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