You know your from (insert state) when..

[MadPSIence]

you know you're from Saskatchewan when...

1. half the cars have 2 holes in the front bumper
2. people are pulling bass out of potholes in main roads
3. you know regina is just like it sounds
4. you're not worried about insurance after getting a 100 in a 50 zone
5. you're cruising along, you see a border sign and your suspension gets trashed
6. there's regular manure dumps all over your city

[Hasty8]

You know you're from New York (Manhattan) when...

[Eatem Alive]

you know you're from california if...

1. Your coworker has 8 body piercing's and none are visible.

2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.

3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.

4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Flower.

5. If you drive illegally, they take your driver's license. If you're here illegally, they want to give you one

6. The Terminator is your governor.

7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.

8. Both you AND your dog have therapists.

9. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.

10. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.

11. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney.

12. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.

13. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.

14. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH."

15. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cells or pagers.

16. You can buy a case of good paint for under $30.00

[PyRo]

You can remember making up rules for “Shotgun” calls in high school.[/B]

High school? That's ongoing.

[WicKeD_WaYz]

You know your from California when...


You cant understand the workers at Mcdonalds
They cant understand you
They put a reg quarter pounder with cheese in your bag when you ordered a double.
You asked for extra salt and BBQ sauce and got little salt and no bbq sauce.

sorry i had a bad afternoon at mcdonalds

[Chris42050]

you know you're from california if...

1. Your coworker has 8 body piercing's and none are visible.

2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.

3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.

4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Flower.

5. If you drive illegally, they take your driver's license. If you're here illegally, they want to give you one

6. The Terminator is your governor.

7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.

8. Both you AND your dog have therapists.

9. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.

10. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.

11. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney.

12. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.

13. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.

14. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH."

15. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cells or pagers.

16. You can buy a case of good paint for under $30.00

Damn, you took all mine.
I guess I'll add
you know your from Cali if you say "its freezing outside" and its like 60 degrees.

[Lee]

No one is actually "from" Florida so...

he's right...so...heres a compromise

you know you've lived in florida a long time when:

you know that native floridians are "crackers" and not rednecks, but, have trouble distuingishing the difference.

the average age of the population drasticaly decreases right after easter

at least once a week, you get cut off in traffic by a blue haired old lady that pulls out fast and then drives slow.

you don't see any orange groves anymore, but there are way too many subdivisions and strip malls

you know that it's not the heat that gets to you, it's the humidity

it's pouring rain at your house but across the street it's bone dry

hurricanes, tornados and lightning...oh my!

it's not a trailer....it's a manufactured home...and half the people you know live in one.

in high school, the big rivalry was punkers vs rednecks

you've eaten swamp cabbage, gator tail, or wild hog

in your town, there are more churches, nursing homes, funeral parlors and banks per capita than any town it's size "up north"

you wear shorts at least 360 days a year

you knew who Larry the cable guy was before he was famous

you get strange looks from the waitress when you ask for unsweetened tea

camo trucker hats and the logos on them are a fashion statement and source of pride

miami is reffered to as northern cuba

you've gotten drunk at sloppy joe's and hogs breath and then went to the docks and appluaded the sunset when key west was cool and not disgustingly commercialized

you remember orlando pre mickey

only tourists have nice tans

the only name you know some people by is "bubba"

you know some of the people who couldn't vote right

[WickeDKlowN]

I'm from Florida. Lived in Daytona my entire life. Same house no less.

Lee's list pretty much sums it up though.

[Wheelman]

You know you're from Maine if..
*you have to replace you mailbox yearly because of the town plow.
*All of the traffic lights blink yellow at 10 o'clock at night.
*You eat ice cream with flavors like 'Moose Tracks" and "Maine Black Bear".
*You use "wicked" as a multipurpose part of speech

*Gunracks are standard equipment at the dealership
*You've ever taken your date to Wal*Mart
*People mistake you for Canadian
*in the summer when you're in a line of about 20 cars and it's you and the guy behind you that are the only ones with Maine plates on your car.
*You've ever got up early on the weekend to beat the crowds to Moodys for breakfast
*You only have Neighbors in the summertime
*you have a backdoor yard
*It's January and 4 feet of snow and you're on a motorcycle
*You've ever said you were "right out straight"
*You've ever "stove up your car"
*You can have a truck anywhere in the state in 5 minutes with only a phone call
*you can mae 60,000 a year and be broke all the time

[bleachit]

you know you are from Western NY when you get a pretty good education but have to go to another state to use it.

your local leaders try to fix the problems of residents moving out of state because taxes are high and jobs scarce by raising taxes and scaring away more business

Your favorite football team can make it to 4 back to back superbowls without ever winning one.

You know there is a conspriacy against your favorite local pro sports teams, both of them.

You wonder why anyone in their right mind would want to go to Niagara Falls (at least on the US side)

An April's fools joke is the weather being 60 degrees on April 1st, followed by chilling wether and a ton of snow over the next two days.

Love Canal isnt just a horrible disaster that happened in the 70's and 80's, its where your best friend lives

[Will Wood]

*You've ever taken your date to Wal*Mart
I'm guilty of that rofl!

*in the summer when you're in a line of about 20 cars and it's you and the guy behind you that are the only ones with Maine plates on your car.
Considering I live near Point Sebago (Resort), this is definately true.


*You only have Neighbors in the summertime
I don't even have them in the summer o0


*you can mae 60,000 a year and be broke all the time
Maine sucks

[nippinout]

ICP, I am assuming that you aren't from the Chicago metro area.

I'm from the NW suburbs.

[tropical_fishy]

You know you're from Boston when...



You think of Philadelphia as the Midwest.

You think it's your God-given right to cut someone off in traffic.

You think there are only 25 letters in the alphabet (no R's).

You think three straight days of 90+ temperatures is a heatwave.

All your pets are named after Celtics or Bruins.

You refer to 6 inches of snow as a "dusting."

Just hearing the words "New York" puts you in an angry mood.

You don't think you have an attitude.

You always 'bang a left' as soon as the light turns green, and oncoming traffic always expects it.

Everything in town is "a five minute walk."

When out of town, you think the natives of the area are all whacked.

You still can't bear to watch highlights from game 6 of the 1986 World Series.

You have no idea what the word compromise means.

You believe using your turn signal is a sign of weakness.

You don't realize that you walk and talk twice as fast as everyone else.

You're anal, neurotic, pessimistic and stubborn.

You think if someone is nice to you, they must want something or are from out of town.

Your favorite adjective is "wicked."

You think 63 degree ocean water is warm.

You think the Kennedy's are misunderstood.



WHEN WE SAY ____ WE MEAN...

Bizah - odd

Flahwiz - roses, etc.

Hahpahst - minutes after the hour

Hahwahya? - how are you?

Khakis - what we staht the cah with

Pissah - superb

Retahded - silly

Shewah - of course

Wikkid - extremely

Yiz - you, plural

Popcahn - popular snack



HOW WE'LL KNOW YOU WEREN'T BON HEAH:

You wear a Harvard sweatshirt.

You ask directions to "Cheers."

You order a grinder and a soda.

You follow soccer.

You eat at Durgin Park.

You pronounce it "Worchester" or Glouchester."

You call it "COPELY" square.



DEFINITIONS:

Frappes have ice cream; milk shakes don't.

If it's fizzy and flavored, it's tonic. Soda is club soda. Pop is dad. When we mean tonic WATER, we say tonic WATER.

The smallest beer is a pint.

Scrod is whatever they tell you it is, usually fish.

If you paid more than $6 a pound, you got scrod.

It's not a water fountain, it's a bubblah.

It's not a trash can, it's a barrel.

It's not a shopping cart, it's a carriage.

It's not a purse, it's a pockabook.

Brown bread comes in a can. You open both ends, push it out, heat it and eat it with baked beans.

They're not franks, they're haht dahgs. Franks are money in France.



THINGS NOT TO DO:

Don't call it Beantown.

Don't pahk your cah in Hahvid Yahd. They'll tow it to Meffa (Medford) or Slumaville (Sommerville).

Don't swim in the Charles, no matter what Bill Weld tells you.

Don't sleep in the Common.

Don't wear orange in Southie on St. Patrick's Day.



THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW:

There are two State Houses, two City Halls, two courthouses and two Hancock buildings (one old, one new).

Route 128 is also I-95. It is also I-93.

It's the Sox, The Pats (or Patsies if they're losing), the Seltz, the Broons.

The underground train is not the subway. It's the T and it doesn't run all night (fah chrysakes, this ain't Noo Yawk).



GETTING AROUND:

Pay no attention to the street names. There's no school on School Street, no court on Court Street, no dock on Dock Square, no water on Water Street. Back Bay streets are in alphabetical odda. Arlington, Berkeley, Clarendon, Dartmouth. So are South Boston streets: A, B, C, D.

If the streets are named after trees (Walnut, Chestnut, Cedar), you're on Beacon Hill. If they're named after poets you're in Wellesley.

All avenues are properly referenced by their nicknames: Comm Ave, Mass Ave., Dot Ave.

Dot is Dorchester, Rozzie Roslindale, JP is Jamaica Plain. Readville doesn't exist.



THE NORTH-EAST-SOUTH-WEST THING:

Southie is South Boston. The South End is the South End. Eastie is East Boston. The North End is east of the West End.

The West End and Scollay Square are no more-a guy named Rappaport got rid of them one night.

The geographical center of Boston is in Roxbury. Due north of the center we find the South End. This is not to be confused with South Boston, which lies directly east from the South End. North of the South End is East Boston and southwest of East Boston is the North End. Backbay was filled in years ago.



BASIC RULES FOR DRIVING IN BOSTON
(subject to change at any time):

When on a one way street, stay to the right to allow oncoming traffic to pass.

Never, ever, stop for a pedestrian unless he flings himself under the wheels of your car.

The first parking space you see will be the last parking space you see. Grab it.

Double park in the North End of Boston, unless triple parking is available.

Learn to swerve abruptly. Boston is the home of slalom driving, thanks to the Registry of Motor Vehicles, which puts potholes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them on their toes.

Never get in the way of a car that needs extensive bodywork.

Always look both ways when running a red light.

Honk your horn the instant the light changes.

Breakdown lanes are not for breaking down, but for speeding, especially during rush hour. Breakdown lanes may also end without warning causing traffic jams as people merge back in.

Never use directional signals when changing lanes. They only warn other drivers to speed up and not let you in.

Making eye contact revokes your right of way.

Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right.

Whenever possible, stop in the middle of a crosswalk to ensure inconveniencing as many pedestrians as possible. And if a pedestrian ahead of you steps in the road, speed up loudly and chase him back up on the curb. Peds have no rights.

[Lee]

When on a one way street, stay to the right to allow oncoming traffic to pass.

thats just hilarious!

[Vex]

Some of these apply to all of the southern states:

You know you're from Arkansas if:

1. You've never met any celebrities.
2. Everyone you know has been on a "Float Trip".
3. "Vacation" means driving to Hot Springs or maybe even Branson, MO.
4. You've seen all the biggest bands ten years AFTER they were popular.
5. You measure distance in minutes rather than miles. For example,"Well,
Conway's only 20 minutes away."
6. Up North to you means Missouri.
7. The phrase "I'm going to the Lake this weekend" only means one thing.
8. You know several people who have hit a deer with their car.
9. You think Arkansas is spelled with an "ah" at the end.
10. Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
11. You consider riding a mechanical bull true entertainment!
12. Your school classes were canceled because of heat.
13. You instinctively ask someone you've just met, "What high school did you go to?"
14. You've had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
15. You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better."
16. You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July.
17. You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.
18. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it, no matter what
time of the year.
19. You know in your heart that Arkansas can beat Texas in football.
20. You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example:"Where's my coat at?"
21. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, or grain.
22. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
23. You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, beer, and Jell-O salad with
marshmallows.
24. You carry jumper cables in your car and know that everyone else should.
25. You only own three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.
26. You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie.
27. The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page, but requires
six pages for high school sports.
28. You think I-40 is spelled and pronounced "farty."
29. You'll pay for your kids to go to college unless they want to go to Tennessee or Texas.
30. You think that "deer season" is a National Holiday.
31. You know that you can't get anywhere without going through Little Rock first.
32. You can't think of anything better than sitting on the porch in the middle of the summer
during a thunderstorm.
33. You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
34. You've said, "It's not the heat, it's the humidity."
35. You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer and Football.
36. You know if another Arkansan is from the Ozarks, Northern,Central,or Southern part of
AR soon as they open their mouth.
37. You know that Bill Clinton, Ted Danson's wife, and John Grisham are all from Arkansas.
38. You failed World Geography in school because you thought Paris, London,
Bismark,Nashville, Lincoln, were cities in Arkansas (And they are!)
39. You think a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
40. You know what "Woo Pig!" means.
41. You think that "implore" means "who you work for."
42. When you get pulled over by a state trooper and are asked if you have any I.D., you
respond, "'Bout what?"
43. You don't know who Washington, Lincoln, or Kennedy were, but you can name every
quarterback that ever played for the Razorbacks.