So... Lets post an anecdote

[kosmo]

So I was bored and decided that it would be a good idea to hear some anecdotes . In fact, Ive decided it should be a contest of some sort, with some winner being declared, and also a loser. For without losers, winners are losers too. So lets lay down some ground rules. Firstly, the winner shall recieve nothing. Well perhaps some praise, but that is all. Thusly one could argue that it isnt even a contest, and they would be correct. So a contest it is not. Secondly, in the interest of not being stupid, do not post a "you had to have been there" type anecdote. That would be unacceptable and grounds for immediate qualification as a loser. Third, pictures are good. People are stupid and pictures are simple to understand. Fourth, as pointed out in the anecdote definition from wikipedia, anecdotes do not have to be amusing, merely interesting. Though it could be both. If someone could possibly find the meaning of life in a non humorous anecdote you have, by all means post away. Fifthly, one could argue that many threads in this forum are anecdotes. This is true. However this is the thread for which one must cut the fat, post the best of the best, and maybe even present a moral to the story. Either that or make it darned funny.

I now sit idly by, deciding which of my anecdotes to post and timing how long it takes for this thread to be more useful to print out and use as toilet paper than to read.

[Cameo]

I now sit idly by, deciding which of my anecdotes to post and timing how long it takes for this thread to be more useful to print out and use as toilet paper than to read.

that would be tough on the booty..

[billybob_81067]

that would be tough on the booty..

Moral of the story: Don't wipe with printing paper...

[ScatterPlot]

OK, here's my anecdote.

This one time I was on AO, and had to go to the bathroom. I printed off a couple pages of the thread I was looking at, and wiped with them. It hurt, guess you had to have been there.








I'm sorry, I don't have any good stories.

[personman]

One time, I upped a dead thread that was 3 days old.

[Enraged Monk]

One time, I stabbed God...Word to your mother

[kosmo]

Hey its my drunken thread, back from the dead. Boy, this sure goes to show you what happens when you try to learn a little. Might as well post my anecdote I suppose.

One time at a bar in Korea, there I was no crap knee deep in hand grenade pins. As it so happend there was a MEF (Marine Expeditionary Force) in the area for a training exercise. It was a very sizable unit, filling the town with thousands of jarheads. From past experiences, I had this horrible distrust of Marines. Got into many a brawl at the school of military intelligence in Fort Huachuca, which unfortunately served all branches. The overall attidute and character of the vast majority of Marines Id come into contact with had left a lot to be desired. So there I was at the bar with my beautiful female associate of the time named Annette, drinking more than anyone ever should. Well in came a group of Marines, who instantly spotted Annette and moved in for the kill. Half of them were wearing cowboy hats and almost all of them had a fist size wad of chew in their lips. Two of them started buying me drinks while the other four surrounded Annette. As she was the artsy Californian and had no interest in this type of men I didnt really mind at all that they were buying me drinks in exchange for time with her. They even gave us line dancing lessons. The whole evening I was shooting off wisecracks and jokes at their expense, thankfully all the jokes flew right over their heads or Id have been bludgeoned. The night ended uneventfully and we caught the bus back to post. The next night brought another round of drinking heavily. I really dont remember much from this night. I do remember Annette calling it an early night after a substantial amount of Bacardi 151 and a couple soju bowls though. I woke up the next morning with a skull splitting headache, not knowing how I got back to my room. Not being one to learn my lesson, it was back out to the bars again. I wound up seeing that same group of Marines at a different bar on this night. Suprisingly, though I was without Annette this time, they called me over and started buying me drinks. They were quizzing me on how I was feeling, and were dropping hints as to heroic feats of alcoholism I had performed the night prior. Then they brought out the picture phone. Apparently I had gotten into a drinking contest after my army buddies had left me alone with the Marines. I guess I did pretty good, but I blacked out shortly before curfew. The Marines had no idea who I was or where I lived, and yet they took it upon themselves to take care of me. They drug me to the bus, and made 3 trips around post looking for someone who knew me. When they finally found someone who knew where I lived, they carried me all the way to my barracks and up 4 flights of stairs, got me into my room and threw me on my bed. And they didnt even steal anything on the way out. I was shocked. Here were these guys who I didnt even know, yet inherently distrusted, and they carried me about 6 miles all the way back to my room. Ever since then, Ive held a bit more respect for the camaraderie that exists in the Corps. Ive never been anywhere in the Army where people would do something like that. Maybe all the units Ive been in just suck. But I still dont trust a marine as far as I can throw him.

[Target Practice]

Antivenin!