children experimenting with fire.

[Cameo]

This has always been a fear of mine having my two children and my mom's foster baby in the house. I know that my brothers were "firebugs" growing up (which taught me not to do it). I always hoped that that desire to play with fire would not come to my kids or the kids put into my care.

By all means I always pushed the saftey issue with my son, he is the dare devil and just seems to have the "personality" to do dangerous things such as playing with fire... I would get scared when he would pick up a lighter that someone had dropped on the floor or find a match at another person's house.. We taught him over and over again how dangerous fires were when we went to camp, bbq'ed ect... yet he still had the awful facination for fire... Lighters and matches have always been kept in the top cabinets and such so that the children didn't get to them. there have also been many a times that my children witnessed me getting on different peoples cases about leaving thier cigarette's and lighters laying out when they visited my home.

Boy was I shocked when my "quiet, artsy type" (& more responcible) daughter decided that she was going to experiment. She apperently woke up in the middle of the night about 5 days ago, turned on the tv and saw a discovery channel program where there was a fire... She took a piece of paper and lit it off of the stove (how she learned this i do not know), and proceeded to light a candle and play while everyone else was sound asleep... She lit a few different pieces of fabric on fire as well as paper and ultimatley the carpet.. She was quick thinking enough to have a bottle of water with her and quickly put it out. Yet I could still smell it when I woke up just a few hours later.

Long story short, that day we called the local fire department to see if they had some sort of program for such incidents.. she has also been staying with a cousin of mine whose husband is a firefighter for the last few days. They took her to a house that recently burned bause a 12 year old was playing with fire. I just do not know what is an appropriate punishment for such behavior.. I understand that she was curious about it, yet at the same time she could have hurt herself and many other people because of her curiousity..

Have any of you ever been in such a situaion? what was the punishment? What is approparite for a 8 year old girl? I realize now that maybe I shouldn't have tired to focus on the boy child so much, i guess you can not profile a firebug.

[sbpyro]

You are in a tough situation with teaching your kids about fire. Unfortunately you did only focus your attention to one child and not the other. I think the most important thing to teach your children is that fire is an important part of human life and should be respected but not abused. You need to dish out appropriate punishment for them otherwise they will not heed the warning and something worse can happen. This maybe a lesson that they need to learn that fire can burn and hurt you or others. The burnt down house was a good start. If they really need to be shocked to understand the dangers of playing with fire, take them to a burn treatment ward in a hospital to show them what fire can do to ppl. Now I know this sounds cruel. But maybe then they will develop a proper respect for fire and not just see it as a source of entertainment.

[Automaggot68]

I applaud the way you've handled the situation, but i am sorry that I am not anymore help.

[master_alexander]

well, im 15. i like fire. i am old enought to not doo annything stupid with it, but my parents taught me when i was young by letting me experiment with it. it was really cool.

i got to light a piece of paper on fire, a napkin toothpicks candles... and about a half hour later i was bored and wanted to do something else. so i knew what would happen and was no longer curious.

[Target Practice]

My cousins taught me how to explode, incinerate, and vaporize pretty much everything, and I'm glad they did. I'm not an idiot and haven't blown anything off, so what's the problem?

[WickeDKlowN]

Keeping them away from it will only make them more curious. I grew up playing with fire and fireworks, and learned how to do it safley (or as safe as fire can be). Much like TP said, I'm not an idiot and still have all 10 fingers. I've lost some hair over they years, but it always grows back.

The same can be said for firearms and/or knives.

[Cameo]

You are in a tough situation with teaching your kids about fire. Unfortunately you did only focus your attention to one child and not the other. I think the most important thing to teach your children is that fire is an important part of human life and should be respected but not abused. You need to dish out appropriate punishment for them otherwise they will not heed the warning and something worse can happen. This maybe a lesson that they need to learn that fire can burn and hurt you or others. The burnt down house was a good start. If they really need to be shocked to understand the dangers of playing with fire, take them to a burn treatment ward in a hospital to show them what fire can do to ppl. Now I know this sounds cruel. But maybe then they will develop a proper respect for fire and not just see it as a source of entertainment.

Thanks for the ideas...
I am going to have to look into the burn center, or maybe just how some pics onthe internet..
I am also debating making her pay for the carpet she burned by not getting half of her allowance and haveing to do chores for others. It was a rung from IKEA so it only cost about 85.00 anyone think this is to strict for an 8 year old?

[MantisMag]

if she's old enough to have an allowance she's old enough to learn financial responsibility. as she is the one who burned the carpet, she can pay for it. responsibility for one's actions should be taught early and consistently. maybe if more parents did this their kids would learn actions have consequences and they wouldn't turn out to be such idiots when they hit their teens and 20s and start to experience independence.

[mcdkid]

let them watch Rescue Me on FX...

well i guess just show them the part where the skin falls off, and the kids die... the rest is not really for a child to watch.

anyway, just be sure they both know how to use a fire extinguisher and keep enough of them around.

[Tunaman]

and if you really love your kids, get TWO nice sized fire extinguishers and keep them close by...

[scrumpy]

All seriousness aside: Love your kids? Prove it.

[Cameo]

All seriousness aside: Love your kids? Prove it.

lmao.. I actually have a a tshirt that say's "whip your children, it is cheaper then ritalin" wore it to sons soccer practice once, got all sorts of nasty stares...
Honestly, my girl child very rarely gets to the point where she needs spanked, for the most part she listens to what she is told and can do tasks appropriatley.. Taking her guitar or crafts away from her has worked 90% of the time to disapline her. Just with the fire I am not sure what was going on.. She likes her alone time, so grounding her from "family things" does not work... I thought the paying back thing would do nicely because she has been saving up for quite some time to have a tv and dvd player in her room. I will only use half of what she has saved towrds ther repay though, the other part of the money she is going to have to get respoincible and ask family/friends if she can do things to earn cash.
the boy child thinks a bit differently. Taking things away from him does not work as well. He has a tendancy to get very violent and throw tantrums. He is a very compulsive person and does things without thinking at all.. For him it is needed to spank in some situations..(he gets spanked by the principal at school ie. PRIVATE SCHOOL). But the thing that he responds best to is when he is grounded from going shopping with mommy or he is not allowed to go to the park ect.. He feeds on social interaction, when you take that away from him he knows he did wrong.

[mobsterboy]

lmao
I've never laughed so hard in my life. That stuff is funny. "if your kid is complaining,'Im hungry, i want a toy, i need my insulin' or whining about doing your tax return"

Wow, i've heard about that site but never thought much of it. All seriousness aside, just give them a good scolding, and tell them that when they're older, they can burn with their own judgement. Im 16, almost 17 and I am a major pyro, but I only do stuff that i know isnt crazy. Just little stuff, like burning paper towels, fluffy cattail plants and gasoline with 10% Nitro content, just your average stuff.

[kosmo]

Maybe I have an odd perspective on parenting, but what I would do is encourage her curious nature. I was the type of kid who would just make things worse if I was ever grounded/beaten or whatever. But if I got in trouble for doing something stupid, like when I got "detained" for street racing, my parents made me go hang out with my grandpa who was a NHRA funny car racer. He taught me the right way to do things. And contrary to popular belief there are right ways to play with fire and people who make good money doing so. Take her outside with the proper safety equipment and play with some fireworks or something. Turn it into a science class about how that stuff works, and why its dangerous, and tell her if she ever wants to do crazy stuff like that then never do it without supervision and have the right safety stuff there. Then she wont feel like she has to be sneaky and light things on fire in the house during the middle of the night.

[fire1811]

I have dealt with this many times and can tell you that it needs to be addressed as quickly as possible. Did your fire department have a program? Most do have a juvenile fire starters program.

Just a couple of weeks a go we had two house fires back to back. Both were caused by children playing with fire. On was just lighting random things and the other house was 3 kids spray painting there name on the side of a house and lighting the paint, which didnt pan out so well for them.

If you would like I can get some printed material for you to look at. Just PM me your adde and I can send it out.

I am not denying for a minute that fire is not interesting but its a problem that needs to be addressed while they are young. Some studies show that young pyro's continue to have there fascination into there adulthood which could obviously cause problems later.

It seems you doing the right things.
Good Job

if you need anything dont hesitate to contact me
Curt