Paintball Poem

[FeelTheRT]

The dim sunlight in the morning is adjusting eyes like putting a guitar in tune. Once and ear-poping whistle sharply screeches through the cool thick breeze, it's time to show your skills by making the first aggressive srpint to the front line without being marked with paint. Once you have successfully proclaimed your rightfully owned position, there is a "waiting for the bomb to drop" feeling that someone from the opposing team might fire an intese stinging paintball on you. After the flag has been grabbed, there is a sudden relief, and hopping that it won't be taken away. There is a beam of glory that shines on the victorious team.

[MagMan5446]

That would be good if I knew where a line ended. Press enter.

[Desega]

[NotKai]

That was the stupidest poem of all time.

[Lenny]

That would be good if I knew where a line ended. Press enter.

Poems don't always have to be written in prose.
I've written many that way.

It's pretty good. Nice word usage. What type of feeling were you trying to invoke? Rythms? Patterns? Not bad, though.

[Desega]

HAHA! Check the post date on the top of the thread! I secretly resurected it!

[Dubstar112]

Hah. Feely left sometime ago and then came back. I doubt he will see this; instigate.

[bentothejam1n]

sounds like something from apg
woah
its from 01

[jenarelJAM]

It might be an alright poem, but I can't get past the typos. Typos don't normally bother me, but in poetry, they really disrupt and confuse the meaning of the poem.

[NotKai]

It might be an alright poem...

And that's where you've lost me.

[jenarelJAM]

Poems don't always have to be written in prose.
I've written many that way.

It's pretty good. Nice word usage. What type of feeling were you trying to invoke? Rythms? Patterns? Not bad, though.

I was acknowledging Lenny's opinion. Personally, I can't get past the typos, or the fact that it doesn't break lines, or really even seem cohesive... But that's just me. It could really strike a chord with Lenny. Poetry is like that.

/I'm not being sarcastic. Poetry really is like that...

[Lenny]

HAHA! Check the post date on the top of the thread! I secretly resurected it!

Woah. '01!?!?!? He hasn't even been on since November.

[NotKai]

I was acknowledging Lenny's opinion. Personally, I can't get past the typos, or the fact that it doesn't break lines, or really even seem cohesive... But that's just me. It could really strike a chord with Lenny. Poetry is like that.

/I'm not being sarcastic. Poetry really is like that...

Yeah, but that only goes so far.

There is good poetry, and there is so-so poetry, and there is terrible poetry.

This is terrible poetry.

Even if idiot Lenny thinks it is neat.

[Lenny]

Yeah, but that only goes so far.

There is good poetry, and there is so-so poetry, and there is terrible poetry.

This is terrible poetry.

Even if idiot Lenny thinks it is neat.

Hey! I was just looking at it from an artist point of view! Not necessarily a readers! He obviously thinks it's good despite our own opinions, so why beat it into the ground?

I forgot that made me an idiot...

[Desega]

It's alright Lenny, as an english minor I can also appreciate the poetic aspects of it. I got your back