Divorce-got any info?

[68magOwner]

Ok, ill try to keep this as impersonal as possible and make a big, complicated situation as simplified as possible-

Basically- if a husband and wife were to divorce. Could their child (being a minor) have any say in which parent he stays with?


-Basically, parents want to split, my sister and I are not minors, and could choose to stay with our mother, but, what about my little brother?

[Cow hunter]

depends if they argue on the custody...... then they might ask the minor...... maybe.....

[Warewolf50]

If i rember correctly from my parents divorce, in GA atleast if the child is either 13 or 15 (somewhere in there) they can legally choose which parent to live wiht.

[wanna-b-ballin']

in a situation like that, i think the child lives with whoever can offer the child more. like better schooling, living conditions, and the like. whats keeping the child from going back and forth between the two?

[Boski51]

I think in your state the Mom gets primary custody in most cases. In Dad's rights states, it is not so clear cut.

It is really dependent on the state you live in and all the "other" factors that are part of a divorce.

Good luck in this crappy time.

[hitech]

AS everyone has already said, it depends. Some states take what the child wishes into consideration (this is a bad idea, PM me if you want details). In some states it depends on the child age whether they take their wishes into consideration. Most states attempt to not split up children. However, since you and your sister are not children anymore, it may or may not apply. Generally speaking the court is supposed to do what is best for the child. However, that is not always the way it works. You and you sister may be asked for your opinion, be prepared.

The best solution is to get the divorcing parents to agree. The problem typically is if they could agree they wouldn't be getting a divorce. It may get nasty.

One word of advice, STAY OUT OF THE DIVORCE. Neither of your parents should put you in the middle. Neither of them should give you ANY details. They are getting divorced, not you. It is wrong for them to force either of you (your little brother included) to be in the middle, or worse yet, to take sides.

Good luck...

[BeaverEater]

I think its like 16 here in wisconsin, most of the time the parents SHOULD respect the childs wishes.

[Recon by Fire]

There are too many factors to offer a simple answer to this. It amtters very much where you live, if the parnets will contest custody, who wants custody, negative aspects of either parent, etc...it goes on and on.

More than 90% of women get custody of the kids. Less than 10% of men fight for custody. You do the math.

[68magOwner]

Ok, well, ill look into the laws in NC. I would predict that there WOULD be a fight over custody (well, im certian of it, have spoken with my mother).

and, hitech, thanks for the advice, but, i was put in the middle, quite some time ago. Not going to give you guys a whole spheel of the situation, but, yeah, too late for that. (its quite unfortunate) but, something ive been dealing with for quite some time (my mothers been trying to put it off untill were all 18 and off to college), but, its been getting particularly rough over the last year, and, just trying to do some research.

[nippinout]

When I was about 6 years old, the parents of some family friends were getting divorced and there was drama about custody. My parents asked us what we would do, how we would pick which parent.

Of course, I told them that I would go live with the paren that took the TV.

I couldn't live without my NES.

[anomoly40]

In Arkansas, the mom could be a meth user in prison pregnant with another mans baby. The man could be a upstanding citizen that help finance the local School building fund with his own money and credit line. And even then it would be a tough battle.

[Glickman]

When I was about 6 years old, the parents of some family friends were getting divorced and there was drama about custody. My parents asked us what we would do, how we would pick which parent.

Of course, I told them that I would go live with the paren that took the TV.

I couldn't live without my NES.

so thats how you get so many presents!

[slade]

in MA, you have to be either 14 or 16 (im pretty sure its 14, but im not positive) and then you can choose.

i think the above statement about the TV is WHY you cant choose until youre 14.

Some states take what the child wishes into consideration (this is a bad idea, PM me if you want details).

i dont think so at all. in many (probably most) cases it IS a good idea. just when the deciding factor is a bit more important than an NES. My girlfriend and a few of my friends have divorced parents, and i think that in most or all cases, they would have been better off if they had been asked who they wanted to live with instead of having split custody.

[Lohman446]

In MI the time you have heavy say is 18, other than that its at the judges discretion to take it into consideration (but it cannot be the only factor).

[Cameo]

A parent should take into consideration of the child. Especially any child old enough to know better (if you would trust them to babysit they should be able to make decisions). any parents that fight over cusotdy and can not be civil (within logical reasons of course) should be shot. I hate that fact atht 90% of the time the kids get brought in between merley as a way of getting revenge with your ex.
we live in the year 2005, there should be no reason why parents can figure out what is best situation of the child and do what is needed to reach an agreement.
I honeslty feel bad for domestic relations officers and judges. Seeing what i see every single time I have to go to court is heartbreaking. Grown adults should not yell and scream at each other.. One side is always trying to make the other side look like the bad person. Is it really that hard to say "ok you can raise the child and i will do this and this (ect) in order to be in that childs life" sigh..
Being that I was at the court house just this morning I am in a ranting mood.

~Cameo
ps: just as a note I am the mother that has to beg the father to see its child on its birthday, recieves no support money, pays for the childs school tution and everything else; yet I had to take a day off of work to show up for a hearing because said father wants full custoday of child (so he can look good twards his new fiancee). I just don't get it.