having trouble witha loss

[mag88888]

In June 2003 my cousin, Gian, died in a car crash. When he died i was only 13 and didn't know what to make of it. When i first heard it i just cried. Later i pushed it aside and tried not to think about it. Now I know thats not the way to deal with things like this. It wasn't until now that I am 15 and much more mature than a few years ago, that I am actually thinking about it. I used to think, I wish i got to know him better, since we lived far away, him in Atlanta, Georgia, me in Deleware and Vermont: i didnt see him much. I'd think, I'll get to know him better later, but now i realize I never will get to know him personally. I know some of you are still thinking, why are you grieving now, 2 years later? But now is only when i came mature enough to deal with it. This Christmas vacation when i was with family, I couldnt help but notice his parents try to be happy and joyfull, but i could see it in them, they were thinking about Gian. So I took it upon myself to talk to his sister, Chloe about it. I just felt I needed to know more about him since i hadnt seen him in years before he died. There was soo much to say, we talked til 3 in the morning. Now i can't stress to mysle how important family is. Ill never take anything for granted again, you never know what can happen.^ I just needed to say this outloud, sorry if im intruding AO but im sure other people here need to say things like this too. If any of you guys have similar feelings like this about someone, go ahead and share them, youll feel better afterward. Here is a website dedicated to Gian, it has many pictures of him, stories of him, how he died, and more.

http://www.geocities.com/gianziccarello/main.html

[grEnAlEins]

I am going through a similar process. Last Veterans day marked the one year to the day of my cousin's death in the Babil Provence, Iraq. Growing up I was closest to his youngest brother, and we were always over at each others houses. As I got older, my interests coincided with his more and more. We were getting close when all of a sudden his USMC unit was deployed. He died 11/11/04. I think about about him alot, I probably always will because thats how things are in my family, we never forget each other (we are very tight knit as we are Greek). I still cannot believe that the whole thing happened. He was only a few years older than me...

Sorry, but I cannot continue, I am getting choked up just thinking about the situation.

Here are links about my cousin: http://www.legacy.com/ChicagoTribune...rsonId=2835478

http://www.militarycity.com/valor/503877.html

http://www.scuttlebuttsmallchow.com/mardeath114b.html

I always look for more articles and save tham.

Nick

[mag88888]

I am going through a similar process. Last Veterans day marked the one year to the day of my cousin's death in the Babil Provence, Iraq. Growing up I was closest to his youngest brother, and we were always over at each others houses. As I got older, my interests coincided with his more and more. We were getting close when all of a sudden his USMC unit was deployed. He died 11/11/04. I think about about him alot, I probably always will because thats how things are in my family, we never forget each other (we are very tight knit as we are Greek). I still cannot believe that the whole thing happened. He was only a few years older than me...

Sorry, but I cannot continue, I am getting choked up just thinking about the situation.

Here are links about my cousin: http://www.legacy.com/ChicagoTribune...rsonId=2835478

http://www.militarycity.com/valor/503877.html

http://www.scuttlebuttsmallchow.com/mardeath114b.html

I always look for more articles and save tham.

Nick

Greek eh?
My family is Greek and Italian. VERY tight knit. If you look at the pics on the link i gave, you can tell he's greek and italian as well as family in the pics too.

[SpecialBlend2786]

I had a similar experience, my cousin was killed in a car crash in Sri Lanka 2 years ago as well. He was killed as well as his four friends, all of whom were in the car. I never had the chance to get to know him well, I just know that he was very much loved by the entire community where he lived. For the funeral, there were bus loads of people that drove in from all sorts of places to pay their final respects. I still don't think his death has hit me with full force, and don't think it will till I go back to Sri Lanka.

On another note, his sister is visiting us right now. She has a baby boy now, and we spend tons of time together with the kid, who looks almost exactly like my cousin that passed away. A few days ago i put a sweatshirt on the little guy cause he was cold, I wasn't really thinking of what I was doing though. My cousin took one look at her baby boy and started getting choked up. Of course, being stupid I had forgotten that the sweatshirt was a gift that the two of them had given me. Seeing her kid, who looked just like her brother who was gone, in a sweatshirt that he had chosen and bought was enough to bring the memories back out.

I guess, just cause time heals all wounds doesn't mean that you forget.

[gimp]

I've had similar experiences. What gets to me is the little things that remind you of the person so many years later. Something you wouldn't associate with them at all, but when it happens you start to miss the person again and it really messes with you if your trying to concentrate on something.

[mag88888]

I had a similar experience, my cousin was killed in a car crash in Sri Lanka 2 years ago as well. He was killed as well as his four friends, all of whom were in the car. I never had the chance to get to know him well, I just know that he was very much loved by the entire community where he lived. For the funeral, there were bus loads of people that drove in from all sorts of places to pay their final respects. I still don't think his death has hit me with full force, and don't think it will till I go back to Sri Lanka.

On another note, his sister is visiting us right now. She has a baby boy now, and we spend tons of time together with the kid, who looks almost exactly like my cousin that passed away. A few days ago i put a sweatshirt on the little guy cause he was cold, I wasn't really thinking of what I was doing though. My cousin took one look at her baby boy and started getting choked up. Of course, being stupid I had forgotten that the sweatshirt was a gift that the two of them had given me. Seeing her kid, who looked just like her brother who was gone, in a sweatshirt that he had chosen and bought was enough to bring the memories back out.

I guess, just cause time heals all wounds doesn't mean that you forget.

I dont mean to be inappropriate but what happened in your cousin's crash? The amount of deaths struck me hard. Im just curious as to what happened.

As to what happned in my cousin's crash: The night started off with Gian's cousin Josh who had just got his liscense and just drove a really long distance. He picked up Gian as well as one of Gian's friends. Then they went and got high off some weed. This part had no effect on the crash anyways...while high they went to Walmart and played there for about an hour so their high wore off. After their high wore off and it was safe to drive they took off and Josh was going a little fast. Gian wasn't wearing a seatbelt since he was having trouble keeping his leg up since he was a fool and played some bball in flip flops and broke his foot. He had cruthes with him. They took a curve a little to sharp at 60 mph and went off the road into some trees. Gian's chest was crushed and his head hit something with an incredible force. Since he was the one hurt the worst they lifelined him out to a hospital on a helicopter. The driver, Josh recieved staples on his scalp and the other kid just had some internal bruising. Gian was the only one who recieved fatal damage and later on died.

There were also bus loads of people at his memorial, 90% were girls, he was a lady killer. now being that Gian was a literal genius and with the lifestyle he had he grew into a pretty big smartass. He could talk his way around anyone. All the girls were paying their respects to Gian's parents and all of them were expressing how nice and smart he was and how he always treated them great. Before long one of Gian's guy cousins got up and said, "i dont know what yall are talking about, Gian was a cocky mother******!" Everyone was silent but then started laughing cause they knew Gian could be like that all the time. Earlier he had gotten the reputation of being a badass for many reasons, how he stood up for people, girls, and especially his big sister, he got jumped by 4 older kids and sent one of them to the hospital, and other reasons which i cant go into here on AO. Anyways he was deeply loved, and we all miss him. I wish i could have spent more time with him.

[SpecialBlend2786]

I dont mean to be inappropriate but what happened in your cousin's crash? The amount of deaths struck me hard. Im just curious as to what happened.

Well, they were driving back home after some event (he was always involved in something with the community), and it was late. They were on a two lane highway, one lane each way. Some drunk driver was going way to fast, lost control and slammed head on into their car. Now in Sri Lanka, seatbelts are not mandatory, most people don't wear them at all. Both cars were totalled, and being a third world country and all, medical help was slow to come. By the time the ambulence got to the scene of the crash my cousin and two of his friends were pronounced dead on the scene, while his other two friends and the driver of the other car were taken to the hospital where they died later.

It was pretty horrific, seeing as the community was such a close knit one, and these guys were seen as community leaders.My cousin also had an idea of a charity foundation that was brought to life after his death. Called the "Happiness 365 Foundation", they have been working closely to help victims of the tsunami in Sri Lanka. (http://www.tomorrowstartstoday.org/p...ge/1700703.htm)

It's sad, but at the same time interesting how the best of us are often taken the earliest.

[mag88888]

A few days ago I did a search for him on the web for his site cause i had lost the url and the first link to pop up was..."Atlanta, Georgia Obituary Index." That got me pretty choked up. I still cant get over the fact that he was only 15, what I am now.