Does anyone else have the same problem with thier parents?

[amrani]

my parents wont let me spend my own money

they keep telling me that i have spent enough money on paintball "crap" and should be spending it on something else. these are the same people who let my brother spend 300 on an ipod and 200 on stuff for that ipod. money is not a problem with my family (aka were not poor) and the money is my own that i have earned or recieved (ie christmass or birthday)
i cant just use moneyorders because i cant drive yet (next year) and hence i dont have a credit card that i can just use whenever.

if anyone else has this problem or a similer one and can help me, id be much abliged

[Chronobreak]

....how old are you 12?..

cant walk to a gas station?

or friend relative to drive you?

explain that ipod thing to your rents

mine were the same and i pay for all my stuff.

how do you get to the field?

[Recon by Fire]

...and then you can grow up get married, and still get flak about how you spend your money

[WenULiVeUdiE]

You could always remind them spending the money on paintball is better than spending it on drugs. But eventually they will allow you to spend it. Just dont push it or get mad when they tell you no.

[amrani]

my parents will take me to the field, but they dont want me to spend my money on upgrades for some reason. i still dont understand this, and its been going on for quite some time. all the while ive been waiting for them to say yes. now that chirstmass has rolled around (again) i asked to spend some of my money as i please. and yet again "on what....paintball of corse not. you have spent enough money on that gun of yours for a lifetime"

and ive spent about 300 total on all 2 of my guns, and 150 on my curent gun, a mag

[personman]

Yeah my parents used to be like that.
Now they're just like ok, its your money, as long as you know what you're doing with it.

[SlartyBartFast]

Yeah my parents used to be like that.
Now they're just like ok, its your money, as long as you know what you're doing with it.

To me that (and the original question) depends on a lot of circumstances.

It's not necessarily "your" money. Seeing as no matter how many jobs you have or how much money you make on your own, your food, clothing, and lodging are subsidized by your parents. (of course to varying degrees, but your parents are probably bankrolling the majority of your current life expenses) Every dollar that they don't charge you in rent or expenses is a dollar you get to use in some other fashion. So, really, unless your paying a fair rent, for your food, and all your clothes every penny that the average child earns they earn because their parents allow them to earn it.

You give up a lot for your children, and if you see them wasting to much money (whether because you disagree with the activity or because you feel they are too focused on one thing) you know that you are giving up YOUR freedoms so that they can behave in that manner.

Think it's great having to watch the family budget and know that there's nothing left for any of your hobbies or interests but your son seems to have endless cash to spend on his interests?

If my child is not using his disposable income in a manner that I approve of, you can be sure that I'll cut back on some of my subsidies. FOr instance if he EVER smokes or does drugs, I'll immediately eliminate an equivalent amount of cash from any allowance. If I'm not paying an allowance then I'll immediately cut back an equivalent amount on any frills or special purchases.

Now, in this case the brother spends 500 on Ipod stuff. How often does the brother make frivolous purchases? How much money is being spent on paintball (seems to me it's whining to try and compare a 500$ purchase to even a low end paintball habit. That won't get you a gun and a single day out.)? What do the parents pay for? What do the children pay for?

[hitech]

No, my parents are not like that (I'm 44). However, my wife has said things like that from time to time.

And if my children were going to spend "their" money on something I did not approve of I wouldn't let them either. Hell, my step-kids cannot spend their Dad's money if I really disapprove. (i.e. I'll just get Dad to buy it...)

[amrani]

ok lets clear some stuff up

my parents approve of me playing paintball, thats not the problem

my brother plays paintball also, so daily costs of going paintballing arent in effect

he has spent just asmuch money on paintball as me so far, plus 500 on his ipod stuff and a
digital vidio camera just last year (he has used that like 3 times)

my parents pay for what most people would agree they should pay for. clothing, food,
house hold bills, furniture for my room, shoes, necessary school supplies and soccer
equipment (consists of cleats, ball, and cloths to wear durring practice) i also pay for
about half of my soccer equipment
and have offered to pay for it all, but they feel that they want to help me pay for it. I
have had to pay for my xbox, games, etc.

please post any more questions, comments, and/or questions on my circumstances

thanks for all the ideas already

[urbansix]

Yeah? My parents expect me to pay $700 - $800 in plane tickets a couple of times a year just so they can see their grandkids. Or I guess I could drive the 12 hours. More like 15 with the pee and vomit breaks. Like I can afford to take the extra vacation time. What do they want from me? They're the ones who live out in the middle of no where.

[SlartyBartFast]

my parents approve of me playing paintball, thats not the problem

Well, then you really have to have a frank discussion with them about what they think the problem is.

Approach the discussion like an adult and they'll probably treat you like one. That is, don't whine, don't say anything isn't "fair", don't use the "but my friends/brother/cousin can" arguments.

Ask why it's a problem, what they think is a reasonable expenditure, what they think you should rather spend the money on, etc.

How old are you? Do you have any money saved up? Are you putting money aside for any big purchases or expenses? Maybe your parents think you're living day to day and want to see you have some kind of plan.

[Ghetto]

...and then you can grow up get married, and still get flak about how you spend your money

so true. My wife is awesome she just doesnt understand why I NEED more paintball related items.

[urbansix]

If my child is not using his disposable income in a manner that I approve of, you can be sure that I'll cut back on some of my subsidies. FOr instance if he EVER smokes or does drugs, I'll immediately eliminate an equivalent amount of cash from any allowance. If I'm not paying an allowance then I'll immediately cut back an equivalent amount on any frills or special purchases.

Thats great! " Sorry son, just mashed potatoes tonight...the money for the porkchop and dessert you spent on that pack of cigarettes" I can't wait to use that.

[SlartyBartFast]

...and then you can grow up get married, and still get flak about how you spend your money

But if you're properly married, it's not YOUR money. It's only your money if you're living on your own, or you are living together but remain financially independant and split all costs equally (and that's not marriage).

Marriage (and family) is a partnership where if one partner succeeds all succeed. If one fails, all fail.

[JoshK]

My parents are like that. Im making 300 something bucks this weekend (a very rare thing since i have no job). But they said no money on paintball...you have to save for a car(very understandable, since im getting a car in less than 2 years). But they used to say "no" to every paintball thing ive asked...they finally realized i need paintball...but they still wont let me buy a second gun. Well...if your parents are like mine, they will crack...but they will never let you explain your side of the story like a adult ...


P.S. I have to pay for everything with my own money...and I'm 14.