Joke Thread

[FutureMagOwner]

post your best jokes here for fun im gunna attach an image but not a joke

[TigerMan]

Ahh you got it all wrong! The face belongs on the butt!

[Jonno06]

what do you get when you cross a parrot,and a catapillar???


a walkie talkie!!!!!

(joke originally printed on wood popsicle stick)

[obsolete898]

Mushroom #1:Wanna go out with me
Mushroom #2:No
Mushroom #1:Why not I'm a fungi


That's my best 3rd grade joke.

[AGDmagman2001]

what is the definition of a polygon?
a dead parot


> Subject: Careers.....
>
> My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned...
> couldn't concentrate.
> Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it,
> so they gave me the axe.
> After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it,
> mainly because it was a so-so job.
> Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting.
> I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn't cut it.
> Then I tried to be a chef -- figured it would add a little spice to my
> life but I just didn't have the thyme.
> Finally, I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I
> couldn't cut the mustard.
> My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't
> noteworthy.
> I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any
> patients.
> Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I just didn't fit in.
> I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live
> on my net income.
> I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but
> the work was just too draining.
> I got a job at a zoo feeding giraffes but I was fired because I wasn't
> up
> to it.
> So then I got a job in a gymnasium (work-out-center), but they said I
> wasn't fit for the job.
> Next, I found being an electrician interesting, but the work was
> shocking.
>
> After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a
> historian until I realized there was no future in it.
> My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was
> always the same old grind.
> Now I serve at HQ, and even though I'm always "blue", I find it "suit"s
> me fine!

[AGDmagman2001]

LEARN CHINESE IN FIVE MINUTES:

CHINESE PHRASE ENGLISH TRANSLATION
Ai Bang Mai Ne - I bumped into the
coffee table.
Chin Tu Fat - You need a face lift.

Dum Gai - A stupid person.

Gun Pao Der - An ancient Chinese
invention.
Hu Yu Hai Ding - We have reason to believe you are harboring a fugitive.

Jan Ne Ka Sun - A former late night
talk show host.

Kum Hia - Approach me.

Lao Ze Sho - Gilligan's Island.

Lao Zi - Not very good.

Lin Ching - An illegal execution.

Moon Lan Ding - A great achievement of the American space program.

Nee Ahn - A lighting fixture
used in advertising signs.

Shai Gai - A bashful person.

Tai Nee Bae Be - A premature infant.

Tai Nee Po Nee - A small horse.

Wan Bum Lung - A person with TB

Yu Mai Te Tan - Your vacation in
Hawaii agrees with you.

Wa Shing Kah - Cleaning an automobile.

Wai So Dim - Are you trying to save
electricity?

Wai U Shao Ting - There is no reason to raise your voice.

Wai U La Fing - Wipe that smile off your
face!

Kum Hia Nao - See me A.S.A.P.

Wai Yu So Tan? - Did you go to the beach?

Hao Long Wei Ting? - Has your flight been delayed?

Wai Yu Mun Ching? - I thought you were on a diet

No Pah King - This is a tow away zone.

Yu So Dum - You are not very bright

Ai No Pei - I got this for free

Wai Hang Mi? - I am not guilty

Wai Go Nao?- Please, stay a while longer.

Wai Yu Kum Nao - Our meeting was scheduled for next week

Hia Dei Kum - They have arrived

Lei Lo - Stay out of sight

Yu stin ki pu - Your body odor is offensive.

[~Backdraft~]

The only two jokes i know...lol and yes i know they're lame but here they are:

Joke #1: 3 men walked into a bar the 3rd one ducked.

Joke #2: What is the best part about dating a homeless person? - - - - - you can drop them off anywhere!

lol...there ya go!

[BTAutoMag]

POOPIE LIST!!!!!!!!

-Ghost Poopie
The kind where you feel the poopie come out, but there is no poopie in the toilet.
-Clean Poopie
The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.
-Wet Poopie
The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and underwear so you won't ruin them with a stain.
-Second Wave Poopie
This happens when you're done Poopie-ing and you've pulled up your pants to your knees, and you realize that you have to Poopie some more.
-Pop-A-Vein-In-Your-Forehead-Poopie
The kind where you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.
-Gassy Poopie
It's so noisy, everyone within earshot is laughing.
-Drinker Poopie
The kind of Poopie you have the morning after a long night of drinking. Its most noticeable trait is the skid marks on the bottom of the toilet.
-Lincoln Log Poopie
The kind of Poopie that is so huge you're afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush.
-Corn Poopie
Self-explanatory.
-Gee-I-Wish-I-Could-Poopie Poopie
The kind where you want to Poopie but all you do is sit on the toilet and fart a few times.
-Spinal Tap Poopie
That's where it hurts so badly coming out, you would swear it was leaving you sideways.
-Wet Cheeks Poopie (The Power Dump)
The kind that comes out of your butt so fast, your butt gets splashed with water.
-Liquid Poopie
The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out your butt and splashes all over the toilet bowl.
-Mexican Poopie
It smells so bad your nose burns.
-The Surprise Poopie
You're not even at the toilet because you are sure you're about to fart, but oops.......a Poopie!!!
-The Dangling Poopie
This Poopie refuses to drop into the toilet even though you know you are done Poopie-ing it. You just pray that a shake or two will cut it loose.

[bond1313]

I do like that poopie list.

[Jonno06]

lol,poopie list and chinese in 5minutes are very funny....

[MikeCouves]

LMAO, the poopie list thing is the funniest thing I have ever seen!!!!!

[FutureMagOwner]

jesus that poopie list almost gave me a stroke!

[BTAutoMag]

yea when my friend matt (MadClown) read that in the school library, he almost wet himself

[MiCRoFooL]

How Long is a Chinaman?

Yes.

[paintbattler]

THAT IS HILAROUIS LOL LOL LOL