If i get the Friend Card one more time...

[magman007]

OK guys, im sure most of you know about this, the dreaded friend card...... IM sick, and utterly tired of it. LAst 5 girls that i have fallen for, have played it... If so freekin tired of it... This time it was... Your really nice, and handsome, and simpathetic, and a gentleman, but Luis (whom everyone, litterally everyone, knows is a dork, mean, ugly etc etc) im so tired of it... i just needed to let out my little sob story here... I know im 16, and dont know love etc, but im tired of it... i want some one to love, to hold... some one who cares about me... And whom i can care for..... why is this all so hard?

[spazzed]

Women. <----The Scourge of the Earth.

[Restola]

yep. women suck.

[Dayspring]

It happens man... We all get stuck in the "Friend Zone" at one point or another. And if you're me, you alienate yourself from somebody on national TV.

Seriously though, it just means that she wasn't for you. There's somebody for everybody. (Except Micheal Jackson & really ugly/mean people)

Sit back. Have a coke & a smile and relax. Otherwise, try internet dating.

[Dayspring]

Heh... I won't even touch that one...

Originally posted by Restola
yep. women suck.

[magman007]

Well, its the whole, list of characteristics they like about me that really really gets me.... they list all this stuff they like, then say lets be friends, whats up with that??? I mean, it isnt easy for me, i need to show my caring side to them, because im not the cutest guy on earth, i have some excess baggage, but ive ben told i have a reallly cute face, i have lost weight etc etc, but it isnt working, im just really freekin tired of it all.....

[dre1919]

Yeah man, I got that A LOT when I was your age too. I was really popular with a lot of different kinds of people in high school, and had lots of girl friends. Problem was, since I went out of my way to be nice and thoughtful I was immediately tabbed "the friend". My favorite was "Oh, he's too nice to date." As if to say to qualify you have to treat women like crap. Amazingly, this happens alot with younger women. (when I say that I mean women 23 and under) Here's my rationale for this: (and please, ladies, don't flame me for it...just my opinion from my experiences)

Women when they are younger want the "rebel" guy or the "badboy" because it's part of the rebellious period we all go through, and because it gives them a project. What I've learned is, sometimes you can be too perfect. You need to have some rough edges to you, even if you recognize them and don't really believe in them, because a woman needs to have the feeling like they are fixing something. If you show them everything about you at once, and show them all these great qualities they will eventually want, you bore them. They want to be able to go to their friends and say "Look..when I started dating him he was this and this and now I've turned him around" or "He's such a mystery."

Women once they reach middle twenties (and this doesn't apply to all women. As with all things, there are exceptions. I'm just talking about the majority I've dealt with) start looking for a nice guy, guys like you and me, that are thoughtful. They been there and done that with the guy that doesn't call when he says he will or stands them up. They've gone past the "fixer-upper" stage and want someone serious and ready to date. That's where we come in. Now, if you can find a girl that doesn't have the desire to "see what's out there" (read: avoid commitment) or want to "fix a badboy" before that age, then you are truly lucky and should hold on to her for life.

I used to wonder about things like that...why the nice guys always get passed over for the schmucks and now into my twenties I know. Women just aren't ready for that kind of guy at that point in their lives yet. Hey, guys do it too. Some guys have a great girl but think the grass is always greener somewhere else. Real adult styled love, like the kind where you just don't function well if the other is gone, is just real hard to understand or pull off until you get a little older. It varies for everyone. Now, I think women are the greatest people on this Earth and have nothing but repsect for them, I know my life is always a better place with one in it.

So, don't take it too bad. It's just the way things are at the place you are in life. Hell, I think back now on what I thought relationships were when I was in high school and it's amazing. I'm only 26 and they're much different now. Best of luck bro, you'll find her.

[magman007]

Thanks man for the picker upper.... the real killer is tho... When they come to you after being dumped or a fight, and they say, why cant i find a nice guy etc etc... then cry into your shoulder..... Especially when you know they know you are the nice guy they want... then a day later they are back with the jerk, and pretend it nevert happened..... im really tired of it... and being a rebel just isnt me... i dont do it... im too passive... and if i ever do something bad, i always get royally yelled at by all of the girls, cant i win?

[Mr Pink]

You can never win with women, only get a no-score draw

Seriously tho, don't let it get to you, at least you have friends and eventually the girls will like you Because you are a nice guy.

And failing that, go and shoot fools on the field - Best stress relief there is

[dre1919]

To magman's last post:

Oh I know, that's the funny part. It's like they have this weird form of tunnel vision until they reach a certain point and then BAM! it's a whole new world. They suddenly see what fools they've dated and what great guys they've missed out on. It's amazing. In fairness, guys do it too. We do it a bit differently I think because as a general rule men are more visually stimulated. So we end up ditching the "average" or "unattractive" super cool girl to try and chase the "goddess looking" lowlife girl with no morals and low self esteem. Eh..it's all just a process really. Great girls are out their in the droves, it's just a matter of finding them. You have to remember they usually enter a situation with their defenses up too since most of the time they aren't used to a sensitive nice guy.

Hell, some of the time it just makes them wary of you because you are so thoughtful. It's sad the world is that way, but sometimes being nice gets you suspicion...like you're trying to use them or manipulate them when in reality you just think their a cool girl. It's crazy, but it's worth it...some of the best times I've ever had are in chasing women. I say you just stay firm to what you do and what you believe in. Sooner or later, the women you know will come around. If you keep doing what you do and occasionally point it out with actions or words, if they're smart they'll get it.

To spongebob:

Periods and commas are our friends man! J.K. I don't think I'd be as blatant about circumventing the cuss filters if I were you..just a suggestion. Oh, and yeah, you can sometimes hook up and date a girl that's a friend later in life. I know, I done it a couple times and we're still friends now.

[magman007]

Originally posted by Mr Pink
You can never win with women, only get a no-score draw

Seriously tho, don't let it get to you, at least you have friends and eventually the girls will like you Because you are a nice guy.

And failing that, go and shoot fools on the field - Best stress relief there is

ofcourse, the dude with the really hot gf posts! just bustin you man......apparently you did something right....


Spongebob, i didnt appreciate the circumventing of the cuss filter, but i think i agree with you..... olny thing is, i dont want to get into some ones pants as much as i want some one to love and to hold

[magman007]

dre, well i need to defend my self, i have not turned don a cool and unnattractive one yet.... i had one stateside, but guess what, she left me for me being too thoughtfull... altho apparently i gave her alot of self confidence.... she has had like 10 bf's since me... all of which she asked out... so im happy for her... but she said, you were too loving, and i got affraid, so i had to break it off.... I understand, but i was in no way smothering her, im not a smotherer......

[SpongeBobSquarePants]

well at least u got my point i see wear your comeing from i think we all want that i just threw the gettinin there pants thing in there for a laugh guz that didnt work but good luck anyway man ull find someone we all do

[dre1919]

Originally posted by magman007
dre, well i need to defend my self, i have not turned don a cool and unnattractive one yet.... i had one stateside, but guess what, she left me for me being too thoughtfull... altho apparently i gave her alot of self confidence.... she has had like 10 bf's since me... all of which she asked out... so im happy for her... but she said, you were too loving, and i got affraid, so i had to break it off.... I understand, but i was in no way smothering her, im not a smotherer......

Well, sounds to me like you guys were just after different things. Of course, some couples are that way. My best freind is married to a woman that's almost his complete opposite. They fight all the time, but in the end, they're happy anyway. So, maybe what you considered normal affection and her idea of it were different at the time. Not wrong on either side, just different. It's just one of them things. That's good though that you haven't overlooked a cool girl just because she was what the popular media would have you believe is "average". I don't think I have...at least if so I didn't know it.

[hitech]

Originally posted by magman007
Well, its the whole, list of characteristics they like about me that really really gets me....

All I can say is that when you are 25 those traits will be in demand by women. At least, that's the way it was for me.