corny jokes thread

[SpongeBobSquarePants]

Originally posted by FreshmanBob
This ones a long one, but it actually has a punchline...

So theres this guy named arty, now Arty wants to be a hitman. He talks to his friend joe, a retired gangster about how to become a hitman. Arty tells Joe that he put out the word but no one wants to use him. Joe tells him he needs to establish a reputation, so to charge much less money at first, then raise his rates. So, Arty puts out the word that he will kill anyone for a dollar.

The next day a woman contacts him that wants her husband killed, so Arty tails the guy around for a few days but can't find the right moment. Then, at midnight the husband leaves the house and goes to a grocery store, so Arty follows him. Arty goes in after the guy and looks around to see if anyone else is around. It looks empty so Arty strangles the man to death. It turns out two other people saw him and he chases them around and chokes them too.
The next day the police look at the hidden camera footage and arrest poor arty. The newspaper reads:
Arty Chokes 3 for a dollar

HAHAHAHAHAHA that was actually pretty good.

[BobTheCow]

Let me know if you think this isn't "appropiate"

This girl comes home with a five dollar bill. Her mom asks, "how'd you get those five dollars?"
The girl answers, "Billy sat up in a tree and watched me do cartwheels, and then gave me the money."
The mom answers, "ooh, Billy just wants to see your underwear!!"
The girl understands, and then heads for bed.

The next day, the same girl comes home with TEN dollars. Her mom asks, "how'd you get those ten dollars?"
The girl answers, "Billy saut up in a tree and watched me do cartwheels, and then gave me the money."
The mom say, "now, didn't we talk aboot this yesterday?"

The girl counters: "No, it's okay mommmy...I didn't WEAR any underwear today!!"

[Xerces]

Originally posted by RTMAGBOY13


its already been done Xerces

sorry if i dont read every post. you dont have to kill the mood of the thread.

[RoadDawg]

Got this one from a classic movie called Hot Shots.
A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says... "why the long face?"

[tr0n]

What's brown, sticky, and sits in a honey pot?

Winnie's pooh!!!

[wyn1370]

polar bear walks into a bar
bartender says "What'l ya have"
polar bear says "I'll have a....... beer."
bartender "why the big pause"
polar bear "don't know, always had em"

[BobTheCow]

What did Mozart do in his grave?
Decomposed.
(more proof that i have a REALLY WEIRD chem teacher)