i'm too assertive- so my mom thinks i need meds or therapy

[graycie]

Mantis - i've tried asking questions/saying things to him in a normal tone of voice, without any inflections. he answered in an angry and raised tone of voice, which was totally not neccessary.

1DE - i don't know the specifics of the ownership, but i've all ready expressed to my mom to sell the entire business to him and let him S$$$ in his pants running it all by himself. as far as the kid goes, he got married really late and the kid is 8. that's a whole other weird story, i don't think anyone really knew he was even seeing his wife before they got married. then BAM one day he shows up at my house with this woman that my mom and i have never seen before and says she is his wife.

[1stdeadeye]

Best of luck dealing with it.

Family fueds suck. You can throw away bad friendships, but rotten family members are like gum stuck to your shoes. No matter how many times you try to scrape it off, there is always some left!

Have fun with him though. If he is 60 and his daughter is 8, tell him that odds are he will be dead before she finishes college!

[Konigballer]

You dont need therapy, theirs a shortage of assertive people in the world, except online were everyone talks all big n' bad of course, and we must admit thats in even greater shortage amongst women. I had a girlfriend once who was very confident and assertive, she didnt back down because she was a women and it could rub people the wrong way. Even her family, of course she's at Notre Dame right now so I guess those peole can drop dead as far as she's concerned. I dont think you need therapy because you reponded correctly and forcefully to a situation. This isnt the 1950's. "You should'nt challenge him", what tha crap is that about?

[UltimatePaintballer]

my mom thought i need therapy cause at the beginning of school all i did after it was come home and sit on the computer looking sad. I JUST DIDN"T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO. but she said she would pay for parts of my paintball so i would start doing stuff

[Miscue]

Bah! Nothing wrong to fix.

[manike]

Amy, I'll give you some therapy... next time I see you

Gonna be at World Cup?

[pbcustom98]

.

i know u cant pick ur relatives, but like someone said in this thread (you CAN choose not to talk/interact with them) there are people in my family that i dont interact with, and sooner or later i know its gonna get me into trouble. since their parents expect me to be a role model for them. the people i choose not to interact with much, ARE little kids around 5-10 yrs old, that cant behave anywhere, and they always annoy me. Im like you graycie. i dont back down from anyone. i fear no one, no matter what the situation is. i wont take crap from anyone and let them get away with it. ill speak my mind and make sure u know where im coming from. and if u dont want to listen to me, then ill find a way to get thru to you. just because ur female, doesnt mean u should take crap from anyone either. i give u 100% support in what u did. i woulda done the same thing. keep up the good work and if ya ever get into a fight with him, then give him a good kick in the cahones, and have someone take pictures..all of AO would love to see it, im sure

Daniel

[Trina]

I really think that working for family members is like SO not a good idea. Shoot, you're 25 and an adult, your mom cannot put you on meds! Suggest you get away from the whole situation--move out, get a new job, it'll do wonders for you :) Hope things get better!

[graycie]

Originally posted by manike
Amy, I'll give you some therapy... next time I see you

Gonna be at World Cup?

Simon you so naughty! but unfortunatelly no, i won't be at any events for a while unless they are in the philly area.

Originally posted by pbcustom98 and if ya ever get into a fight with him, then give him a good kick in the cahones, and have someone take pictures..all of AO would love to see it, im sure

LOL! dunno about the pictures i would rather stay away from the violence, but i wouldn't start the fight but i sure would be the one to finish it

Originally posted by Trina
I really think that working for family members is like SO not a good idea. Shoot, you're 25 and an adult, your mom cannot put you on meds! Suggest you get away from the whole situation--move out, get a new job, it'll do wonders for you Hope things get better!

thanks Trina, and be-lated welcome to AO! I didn't know what was going on when my mom asked him to come work for her years ago, but apparently my mom was heavily advised not to. Its not like i work there out of choice, its sort of obligatory and since i've gone back to school full time the schedule works out so its a catch 22. i'm the youngest and my mom is a widower and all my other siblings have moved out. so i figure i will be the one to stay with her and help her out, and making sure she is doing well health wise.

[bornl33t]

wow.. that's too crazy.. we just had on of those in our restaurant on thursday. My sisters-in-laws mom was talking unusually loud to one of her clients ( real estate ) she had taken out to dinner because her client was hard of hearing. Well eventually one of the customers got up and yelled at her and told her she should have more respect for other in a public place like a restaurant. Well, that guy ended up leaving and my sister-in-laws mom ended up paying for the meal of another guest sitting in the other booth. BUT who's really at fault?

If she KNEW the lady was hard of hearing... would it have been too much to inviter her to her house? Or at least apologised when ppl started giving them looks? Was the guy right for getting mad at her?

It seems to me... that ppl need to be more respecting about OTHERS then they usually are.


Any way.. about your situation... I think you handled it pretty good. About your relative? well you sound alot like me... I would have been pretty mad at him if he would have questioned my actions. And respect isn't something you demand.. it's something you earn.

[Trina]

Originally posted by graycie

thanks Trina, and be-lated welcome to AO! I didn't know what was going on when my mom asked him to come work for her years ago, but apparently my mom was heavily advised not to. Its not like i work there out of choice, its sort of obligatory and since i've gone back to school full time the schedule works out so its a catch 22. i'm the youngest and my mom is a widower and all my other siblings have moved out. so i figure i will be the one to stay with her and help her out, and making sure she is doing well health wise.

Thanks! Well, I do see your situation...guess there isn't an easy answer to everything. :) When my dad died my mom kinda got really stressed out about things where she wouldn't normally, and acted like a totally different person...maybe she just needs a shoulder to lean on. You're doing the greatest thing by being there for her.

[aaron_mag]

My Korean Taekwon-do instructor tells the story of

"80 year old father tells 60 year old son to be careful not to hit his head on the low ceiling when going downstairs"

It is a story of a "problem" with asian families. In some sense you NEVER grow up (I'm half asian). I've never seen more family fueds than in an asian family. The feeling of strong family ties runs VERY strong but since everyone is in everybody's business the potential for disaster are real (my mother is on speaking terms with about half of her siblings).

Good luck. From what I have read, however, you don't need to go on meds. I think your mom just wants to tell your uncle that "she didn't know what she was saying"......