Why is it that intelligence and chess are associated? Much as I've seen seemingly weaker individuals win fights and arm wrestling contests, I've seen pure bone heads that are very good at chess.
As much as I'm aware that I'm fairly intelligent, and they are the product of in breeding, I still feel the need to never lose to them in (what is falsely presumed to be) a battle of wits and cunning.
In observing the game I've discovered that it is very much like math in that it has nothing to do with real strategy and everything to do with repetition and memorization. Certain types of people seem genetically pre-disposed to being skilled in both; Idiot savants, children, Russians, and the mentally retarded. So the formula appears to be that the simpler your mind, the more likely you are to pummel me ruthlessly in chess, tick-tack-toe, and Connect Four.
Being that I don't drink (thus eliminating the Russian strategy) I've decided to approach this in much the same way that one gets better at Street Fighter II Championship Edition: Get pounded unrelentingly by a vastly superior opponent for hours at a time.
And so I give you Macintosh OS X Chess, A.K.A. The Humiliator. Even on the lowest setting (settings go from "faster" to "stronger" moves) it refuses to make a bad move. In fact, I've determined that the faster setting is really only sets how quickly in demoralizes you.
You can't win! Scratch that, I can't win. It even lets you take back moves as often as you like. If you take back enough of them you'll realize that you somehow actually lost from the very first move!?!
After a few crushing losses you'll start to feel real stupid. And at some point you'll realize you're trying out calculate a computer... Then you'll feel REAL stupid.
There may be some irony (or some justice) in that my goal was to compete with idiots, and in the end only becoming convinced of my own stupidity.
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PS- No offense to the many sound minded intelligent people who also happen to be good at chess. I hope to one day count among your ranks.
PSS- No offense to Russians, Idiot Savants, or the mentally retarded. If it makes you feel better, I'll play you in few games of connect four.
PSSS- Offense to children. You smell like pee.
As much as I'm aware that I'm fairly intelligent, and they are the product of in breeding, I still feel the need to never lose to them in (what is falsely presumed to be) a battle of wits and cunning.
In observing the game I've discovered that it is very much like math in that it has nothing to do with real strategy and everything to do with repetition and memorization. Certain types of people seem genetically pre-disposed to being skilled in both; Idiot savants, children, Russians, and the mentally retarded. So the formula appears to be that the simpler your mind, the more likely you are to pummel me ruthlessly in chess, tick-tack-toe, and Connect Four.
Being that I don't drink (thus eliminating the Russian strategy) I've decided to approach this in much the same way that one gets better at Street Fighter II Championship Edition: Get pounded unrelentingly by a vastly superior opponent for hours at a time.
And so I give you Macintosh OS X Chess, A.K.A. The Humiliator. Even on the lowest setting (settings go from "faster" to "stronger" moves) it refuses to make a bad move. In fact, I've determined that the faster setting is really only sets how quickly in demoralizes you.
You can't win! Scratch that, I can't win. It even lets you take back moves as often as you like. If you take back enough of them you'll realize that you somehow actually lost from the very first move!?!
After a few crushing losses you'll start to feel real stupid. And at some point you'll realize you're trying out calculate a computer... Then you'll feel REAL stupid.
There may be some irony (or some justice) in that my goal was to compete with idiots, and in the end only becoming convinced of my own stupidity.
-------
PS- No offense to the many sound minded intelligent people who also happen to be good at chess. I hope to one day count among your ranks.
PSS- No offense to Russians, Idiot Savants, or the mentally retarded. If it makes you feel better, I'll play you in few games of connect four.
PSSS- Offense to children. You smell like pee.
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