Python has girl problems

[Python14]

Alright, I've got a problem here.

Here's the background: Megan and I have been going out for about 14 months now. Previous to going out, we were very good friends and did alot of stuff together. To say the least, we complimented each other very well. Well, 14 months later we are still together and all but theirs a problem.

Recently(past 3 months) she's become more and more cranky. She moved out to Franklin county last October and all she does is complain about it. Frankly, she is very lucky. She has this huge house, with a huge plot of land under it, and a view to kill for. To say the least, she is very lucky. However, all she does it complain. It takes her about 25-30 minutes to drive to school every morning.

Second, she says I belittle her. She is ranked 7th in our graduating class of 300. She is going to William and Mary next fall, but was also accepted to UVA, JMU, and Mary Washington. She is liberal(whereas I'm conservative) as well, so she thinks quite highly of herself. But it's rightfully so, she is very intelligent and will go far. However, whenever I tell her something that I think is interesting(like when I was telling her about the link to that site about Chernobyl), she lashes back and says "I'm glad you think I'm stupid and don't know.....". This happens everyday atleast 3 times. She also gets up in arms when I talk about things she doesn't know about(like cars and stuff)

She hits me alot too. It's not really a problem, just an annoyance. If I piss her off, she'll knock me in the arm or something. It's doesn't hurt, but it gets annoying that I have to have self-control whereas she does not.

Whenever she's happy, things are good. We have fun together and stuff, but when things aren't perfect...she lets me know, and blames no one but me.

What do I do? I really like her and everything, but from time to time I just wish I could tell her to F-off and not have to worry about being a good boyfriend. We are going to beachweek together and everything, so I don't want things to turn awkward or anything, ya know?

Any help?

[NJPaint]

Assuming that you are going away for college, P in B, break up, go to college, learn the meaning of life, then sit down and think about what you want.

(and yes, I am serious)

I could never date (and never have extensively) a girl that I didn't feel comfortable going up to and saying "Hey, I don't like it when you do ______. Or I think we should talk about _______." In the same way, I couldn't date someone that wouldn't do the same thing back to me. If I am coming off as an *******, or maybe even just annoying her, I want to know it and I want to be able to change what I'm doing. Maybe its because I am a perfectionist (not a good thing) and I want to be the best person I can be towards others, I dunno. I don't like it when people internalize their feelings and keep smiling, its like they are being dishonest with the people they say they are close with. But it has to be both ways, if only one person does it, there is no love, its servitude .

But more directly dealing with you... If you are a conservative at age 18, something must seriously be wrong with you. Maybe Megan is right and you should convert to liberalism. Maybe give it a shot. READ NEXT PARAGRAPH THIS WAS MEANT AS A JOKE!



(okay, maybe only that large paragraph was serious , but also remember, if you are 18, you have your whole life ahead of you. Keep exploring, don't work so hard to please and conform to someone else. (maybe when you are 40 and getting desperate... but not in your last year of high school )

Wow, this feels wierd to write, I feel like an old person... (I'm 18)

[PyRo]

Reminds me of a girlfriend in highscool. If I got a good grade on a test I would have to listen to her go on about how I was so smart and it wasn't fair, and its not like I went around bragging either... Then when she got a good grade, she would run around all day like she was god or somthing going on about how she was so smart.

[ChucktheMAGician]

Originally posted by NJPaint
But more directly dealing with you... If you are a conservative at age 18, something must seriously be wrong with you. Maybe Megan is right and you should convert to liberalism. Maybe give it a shot.

Decent advice up until that point The More I listen to Hannity the more I get political and dislike liberals/anti-americans. Ok back on topic. If I were you I'd delete this thread before she sees it, but your subconcious may have already decided that this may be a solution? Either way a long distance relationship is gonna be hard to pull off. Karla and I were apart for a while and it wasn't easy. Good luck

[NJPaint]

Originally posted by ChucktheMAGician

Decent advice up until that point The More I listen to Hannity the more I get political and dislike liberals/anti-americans. Ok back on topic. If I were you I'd delete this thread before she sees it, but your subconcious may have already decided that this may be a solution? Either way a long distance relationship is gonna be hard to pull off. Karla and I were apart for a while and it wasn't easy. Good luck

It was a joke lol, sorry if I didn't make that clear!

[ChucktheMAGician]

Originally posted by NJPaint
It was a joke lol, sorry if I didn't make that clear!

Cool, you just needed a or a ! Something else came to mind also, whoever said distance makes the heart grow founder must have been referring to when you are away from your marker!

[Methylphenidate]

But more directly dealing with you... If you are a conservative at age 18, something must seriously be wrong with you. Maybe Megan is right and you should convert to liberalism. Maybe give it a shot.

shakes fist at computer

[bornl33t]

I'm sorry but the just described 89% of the women out there...it's also known as the PMS factor

And THIS is a serious post

[Cryer]

Re: Python has girl problems

Originally posted by Python14
...Second, she says I belittle her. She is ranked 7th in our graduating class of 300. She is going to William and Mary next fall, but was also accepted to UVA, JMU, and Mary Washington. She is liberal(whereas I'm conservative) as well, so she thinks quite highly of herself. But it's rightfully so, she is very intelligent and will go far. However, whenever I tell her something that I think is interesting(like when I was telling her about the link to that site about Chernobyl), she lashes back and says "I'm glad you think I'm stupid and don't know.....". This happens everyday atleast 3 times. She also gets up in arms when I talk about things she doesn't know about(like cars and stuff)

She hits me alot too. It's not really a problem, just an annoyance. If I piss her off, she'll knock me in the arm or something. It's doesn't hurt, but it gets annoying that I have to have self-control whereas she does not.

Whenever she's happy, things are good. We have fun together and stuff, but when things aren't perfect...she lets me know, and blames no one but me.

These three paragraphs are what struck me more than anything...

Cant tell you that this is exactly what you need to do, nore do I imply any offense by it... But heres my way of thinking:


The point of dating is to eventually get married. Not sure about you, but when I get married, I want that to be final. Were together for the long haul.

Frankly, I couldnt bear to live with an attitude like that for my entire life. I would talk to her, explain how I feel: the whole "forever" concept above. If she insists on acting the same way, we're done.

[Miscue]

Mail order bride man. They only want citizenship, you only want them to fix food and other things. The ones from outside the US are more old school, and domestic oriented.

They sign pre-nups as part of the deal. Get divorced eventually, unless you want to keep her, otherwise repeat the process. The other good thing is, her English would be getting much better by this time - but you can get rid of her before she learns how to yap at you in your language. Oh yeah, and she wants rid of you too! She's only there for citizenship.

A few years ago I would have thought this to be a ridiculous idea. Today, it makes so much sense.

[chairman_mao]

In all seriousness it sounds like something is seriously wrong. It may be that she has outgrown you (not an editorial on you it just happens in relationships), it may be that the relationship is very stale and just needs some shaking up. The best thing you can do is talk to her. Try to find out what she is feeling (easier said than done). Honestly if she is going to snap at you and blame you everytime she feels things aren't perfect it may be time for you to end it. I know this may not be what you want be we don't always want whats best. What you described about her hitting you and yelling at you sounds like the begining of an abusive relationship. Before you scoff and laugh yes women can be the abuser too. I'm not say she is now or will be in the future but it sure sounds like it could be.

More importantly you are both going off to college soon. This is a time of much experimentation with a variety of different things. I found out real quick like that a long distance relationship is a BAD idea your freshman year. If you two really are meant to be let each other go and do their thing you'll both be there after the smoke clears. You may find that what you thought was right and what you wanted wasn't really that at all. You're friend take life for what it is and search out what you have yet to find. Try and enjoy the time you have left with Megan but don't try to force a future on yourself. Let life happen and you'll be suprised what it brings.

But most important of all BE TRUE TO YOURSELF. You're the only one you HAVe to spend enternety with. That's just my opinion

[Lohman446]

Originally posted by Miscue
Mail order bride man. They only want citizenship, you only want them to fix food and other things. The ones from outside the US are more old school, and domestic oriented.

They sign pre-nups as part of the deal. Get divorced eventually, unless you want to keep her, otherwise repeat the process. The other good thing is, her English would be getting much better by this time - but you can get rid of her before she learns how to yap at you in your language. Oh yeah, and she wants rid of you too! She's only there for citizenship.

A few years ago I would have thought this to be a ridiculous idea. Today, it makes so much sense.

.

Ditto.. now i realize what a divorce costs - this is the way to do it. Face it, I'm too egotistical to have a meaningful relationship based on sharing, trust, etc. with someone - the sad part is Im ok with that So one of those domestic types for umm housekeeping and cooking, childcare and umm.. yeh other stuff

Ohh boy, am I gonna flamed for that one.. I'm not 100% serious... though the more I consider it...

[BlackVCG]

I think it's amazing that any HS relationships ever last with all of the superficialities that surround them.

The first thing you need to try to do is be straight up with her and tell her what you think about her actions and how she behaves towards you. If she isn't going to listen to it or try to discount all of it, then you basically need to face the fact that she's going to be like that the rest of her life.

It's said that people don't change and that's true to a certain extent. It all depends on how aware a person is of their behavior and if they see anything wrong with it. You can tell a person all day that they are acting foolishly and they'll process it and think about it, but if they haven't already thought it or if it doesn't register to them as being true, then they're going to be stuck with that personality for the rest of their life.

The best thing and really the only thing you can do is tell her basically what you told us and see where things go from there. if that ends up ending the relationship, then I don't think you'll ever regret doing that whereas you would if you ended it on different terms such as telling her off.

[Python14]

We talked today and I think things are resolve....note I said "THINK". We'll just have to see how things go in the coming months and such.

[-Carnifex-]

If she's hot and good in the sack I say keep her!