Disturbing scientific prediction regarding the decline in available gravity

[BobTheCow]

Top scientists agree that with the present rate of consumption, the earth's supply of gravity will be exhausted before the 24th century. As man struggles to discover cheaper alternatives, we need your help.
Please...

CONSERVE GRAVITY

Follow these simple suggestions:

(1) Walk with a light step. Carry helium balloons if possible.
(2) Use tape, magnets, or glue instead of paperweights.
(3) Give up skiing and skydiving for more horizontal sports like curling.
(4) Avoid showers .. take baths instead.
(5) Don't hang all your clothes in the closet ... Keep them in one big pile.
(6) Stop flipping pancakes.

[Target Practice]

Screw gravity.

[Carbon]

b(0)(0)b lifts!

[vf-xx]

I just tested, gravity seems to still be working reliably. I'm not worried.

[MantisMag]

that doesn't mean that it'll never run out...

[Lurker27]

String theory predicts that the graviton is a fermion with spin-2 mass-0

can't run out.

buh-bye

[teufelhunden]

String theory predicts that the graviton is a fermion with spin-2 mass-0

can't run out.

buh-bye

AO sucks at having fun.

[BobTheCow]

guyz this is a serious issue i mean think about it if gravity runs out thatd be baaaaaaad especially for the paintball industry comeon be a lil considerate here thx

[teufelhunden]

guyz this is a serious issue i mean think about it if gravity runs out thatd be baaaaaaad especially for the paintball industry comeon be a lil considerate here thx

INFINITE SNIPAR RANGE!!!!!111!!one

omg. btc that r teh best EVAR!

[MantisMag]

hasn't the flatline barrel taught you anything? the balls will just slow down due to air resistance and float toward you. can you say bouncer? waste of paint?

[BigEvil]

CONSERVE GRAVITY

Hopefully Congress will force us all to start using Hybrid-Gravity to help conserve.
We may in the near future, have to start importing gravity. Thus, we would be dependant on 'foriegn gravity'.

We should also start looking for new sources of gravity. Unfortunatley, this will be extremely expensive.
I propose a tax on all NBA players over 6"5' tall to help offset these cost. (Oh, and add another $1.50 tax per pack of cigarettes to help pay for the healthcare costs of those suffering from gavity-depletion)

[Jeffy-CanCon]

TIME cover story!

[tony3]

I better start storing gravity in the basement for when it runs out, all I know is I'm nervous

[vf-xx]

I"m looking forward to when the start rationing gravity. I'll save mine for when I need it and live in freefall/microgravity. It'll be better for my back.

[WicKeD_WaYz]

I hope it goes away soon I need a few more inches on my vertical jump. Wooaaaa my bench is going to go through the roof too. Cant wait.