My dad is insane and ruining things

[Python14]

Alright, some of yall might remember about a year ago when I had to move out wityh my mom and bro because my dad decided he'd chose alcohol over us.

Well, flash foward a few months and my dad signs his half of the divorce papers.

Flash forward to about now and things get ugly. Within the agreements were a few things.
ONE....since my brother is 17....child support.
TWO...since my brother and I are only part time employed....he pays insurance on only our car

Well, on count number one.....he is 2 months behind. Up until a few days ago, he was 4 months behind. It took a visit by a court official to get those two payments.

On count number two.....he stopped paying for it almost a month ago. So legally speaking we were driving without insurance unknowingly.

My bro and I are just gonna bite the bullet and pay our own insurance(luckily, my good driving record, good grades, and economy car all make it cheap). But other than that, we don't know what to do. Anyone ever been in a situation like this before? Any tips? Thanks.



P.S.
I know AO isn't the "legal advice" capital of the world, but I figure it's worth asking.

[Lohman446]

Counciling, for everyone that will do it. Even if your father won't go, and don't take this as offensive, by the tone of your thread it could likely help you.

As far as the money issues. Theres a year to deal with it (I assume until your brother is 18, though some divorces require through college) - don't count on getting it unless the state is going to enforce collection. Yeh, it sucks to not have what you should, but it happens.. sorry.

[oldsoldier]

Move to MA. You default once, you go to jail for like a million years. But, join the priesthood, molest children, and you get sent to another church. Wierd how our laws work. Thats why they try to ban firearms here.

[Python14]

As far as counseuling goes...we're doing it now.


As far as collecting goes....we've come to terms with the fact we probably won't get much, if any of it. But I'm just curious how standard these things are.

[Aliens-8-MyDad]

that sucks, but you wanna know whats worse?

my dad hasnt ever paid child support for me or my brother since i was six and he was four.

believe me, we (my mom me and my brother) more than needed it. he works jobs where he doesnt get a paycheck, but paid per the day. they cant seem to track him or something.

I havent talked to him since I was six and I dont care to ever. and I'm dead serious.

[Python14]

We are trying to figure out if he even has insurance.

[Lohman446]

I don't know how to say this well, so I will start with a disclaimer. I beleive that people are responsible for there own actions, for the choices they make in life. I do not beleive in the excuses of addictions and of various other things... let me just stop at addictions for now. Your father is responsible for his problems, it is noone elses fault.

That being said... there comes a point where one must seek empathy. Look at where he is now, dependent on a substance, his family gone, and likely very poor. His decisions are his own, his life now his own fault, but it does not mean you should not have compassion for him.

[hitech]

It is very common.

From your point of view he is required to help support his children. From his point of view he is giving money to people who don't care about him.

Don't count on the money. You will be far happier.

Giving up on a parent is a big deal. Don't do it lightly.

Good luck.

[Anti-You]

give up on the money you probably won't get that. And weather it seems like it now or not the money isn't the important part. DO NOT give up so easily on him. He still loves you but he probably feels like you don't care about him. I don't approve of what he is doing to your family but you should not condem him for his mistakes. His life is his own choice and the only thing you can do at this point is be there in case he sees that this is not how he wants to live.

I don't know you or your father but I know what it feels like to be neglected and unloved. Do not think that you have to fix or make up for your father and do not let his way of life make yours unhappy.Forget the money its not important but do not forget that no mattter how low he is hes still your father and in his own way he still loves you.

Hope this helps, like I said I don't know you and you don't know me but please don't hate him for his mistakes. be cool and peace

[Python14]

We've given up on the money pretty much. We could use it, but we can learn to live without.

[bornl33t]

wow, sure I'm sure I'm not getting the whole story.. but you are being more mature about this then most 40 year olds. You guys rawk!

[lord1234]

Move to MA. You default once, you go to jail for like a million years. But, join the priesthood, molest children, and you get sent to another church. Wierd how our laws work. Thats why they try to ban firearms here.

This is probably the BEST post I have ever seen....hilarious.

[SlartyBartFast]

If you don't care about him, you shouldn't care about the support money. You have part time jobs. How much support do you need?

If you DO care about him, you should be far more worried about the hole he's digging his life into. Sounds like he's in need of mental support.

And insurance? Damn. Doesn't matter how much money I make, my children are going to pay their own insurance...

[Python14]

I care about him. But when he bites the hand that reaches out to help time after time.....it becomes harder and less wise to reach out

[Aliens-8-MyDad]

I dunno if your to the point where I am but basically I've decided my dadhasnt helped me before so I dont really need his help at all and man If he comes knockin at my door when Im rich and famous Im gonna kick his (cuss word for butt). But it also probably helps that I havent seen him since I was six.

and believe me the situation with my father is more than I probably really want to talk about on AO so dont think im just some whiney little child.

sorry about your dad but if he is anything like mine, just learn to forget him, you dont really need him.