OMFG I am about to FLIP the hell out

[maxama10]

ehhh i didnt realise he asked what porn was......
so mabey lets stop debating porn??? and get back on topic like what are some good blocking programs....
thats how i feel atleast

[lazebum]

first dont go yelling at her just tell her its wrong and do punish her but tell hey why and tell that other kids parents. make sure to talk to her with both you and your wife in the room. the firewall on your server should do well enough, just open your brouser and go to settings and then internet settings and set your securits setting and set a password. also it is a good idea to move the computer in to a high traffic area. good luck and stay clam but make sure she knows your serious. BTW this is coming from me and my wife and were only 21 but like to think were level headed.

[Boski51]

first dont go yelling at her just tell her its wrong and do punish her but tell hey why and tell that other kids parents. make sure to talk to her with both you and your wife in the room. the firewall on your server should do well enough, just open your brouser and go to settings and then internet settings and set your securits setting and set a password. also it is a good idea to move the computer in to a high traffic area. good luck and stay clam but make sure she knows your serious. BTW this is coming from me and my wife and were only 21 but like to think were level headed.

Congrats Jarhead!

You will be surprised how your new baby changes your view on things. You'll relize what a pain a little one can be, but you'll also learn what true love really is.

Boski

[slade]

good: she isnt going out and experimenting (yea, discusting but it happends)

good point... i have a friend who lost her virginity at 13. i think in some ways you are lucky. because you caught her so easily, and she hadnt made an attempt to hide her tracks, it was most likely her first time looking at anything and she hasnt seen much. she was just curious and did a search online. what you consider super dirty and nasty sites she probably didnt search for, they just came up. assuming you just looked at the URL and not the site itself its not as bad as you think. remember they want you to pay, so i doubt she really saw much at all. have a talk with her about it, and take the advice others gave you. definately move the computer into a high traffic area, assuming it wasnt before. although the problem is, it wont matter if shes home alone at any point. you can use some security system for the internet, but that could also block other things. for instance, if she has to do a report on alcohol or drugs for a wellness class, it will block any site she needs to get to. also there are many ways to get around any security system as was mentioned before. one of them is P2P programs like kazaa or ares, which you should definately watch out for because they probably have worse things. look online at P2P websites or download sites like www.download.com, and if she installed anything make sure at least that its just being used for music.


Boski51 - remember, even if you have a valid point no one will listen or care if youre a condescending jerk.

[Glickman]

she was just curious and did a search online .

just as simple as that. if a parent doesnt talk to her first, then she'll take matters into her own hands and find out herself

[atm743]

well i dont know what girls talk about these days but she mabey had a friend tell her to go check out these type of site.

also mabey she wanted to know what something looked like or something and after searching she just found the so-called-nasty sites.

i remeber my school doing this programe about sex ed and there dont show picutures or really show how it works. they just show the basics.

now i dont know if her school did sex ed or not but i did when i was in 5th grade and i think learning at a younger age will answer some of kids woundering questions about sex




now i have an other thought and im preaty sure this has happen to her allready.

she may of been at her friends house for a slumber party with a bunch of girls from school and mabey one of her friends started to talk about masturbation.

you never know but i would talk to her and talk to her about this stuff NOW. I honstly thing that you and your wife should both talk to her at the same time. and then after both of you talk your wife can have a girl talk with her and see whats going on.

if you dont have these talkes many things can happen and i bet you will totaly flip if you found your girl doing soo called things with her self.

[maxama10]

Boski51 - remember, even if you have a valid point no one will listen or care if youre a condescending jerk.

HAHAHAHA that made my day right there
wooooooo
thanks slade

[InfinatyBPS]

if you dont have these talkes many things can happen and i bet you will totaly flip if you found your girl doing soo called things with her self.

Wow, that would be pretty bad. I'm sure if he were to flip out at the sight of his daughter pleasuring herself, it would most likely have some damaging effects on her sex life forever.

[Boski51]

good point... i have a friend who lost her virginity at 13. i think in some ways you are lucky. because you caught her so easily, and she hadnt made an attempt to hide her tracks, it was most likely her first time looking at anything and she hasnt seen much. she was just curious and did a search online. what you consider super dirty and nasty sites she probably didnt search for, they just came up. assuming you just looked at the URL and not the site itself its not as bad as you think. remember they want you to pay, so i doubt she really saw much at all. have a talk with her about it, and take the advice others gave you. definately move the computer into a high traffic area, assuming it wasnt before. although the problem is, it wont matter if shes home alone at any point. you can use some security system for the internet, but that could also block other things. for instance, if she has to do a report on alcohol or drugs for a wellness class, it will block any site she needs to get to. also there are many ways to get around any security system as was mentioned before. one of them is P2P programs like kazaa or ares, which you should definately watch out for because they probably have worse things. look online at P2P websites or download sites like www.download.com, and if she installed anything make sure at least that its just being used for music.


Boski51 - remember, even if you have a valid point no one will listen or care if youre a condescending jerk.

Wow...condescending jerk....at least I have a valid point.

[jdhfreak]

make sure it takes a password to access the computer and place the computer in a high traffic place in the house and make sure to turn the computer off when you're gone,

best advice i can give

[DiRTyBuNNy]

So Punkncat, did you kill the kid or not?

-dB

[smart_parts]

a good porn blocking site would be content protect it allows you to choose the settings of what she is and isnt allowed to see and it is very secure

https://www.contentprotect.com

[DiRTyBuNNy]

that or you may want to just check your router...I know the linksys and netgear ones that I have had had great keyword blocking features...

[stop whining buy a mag]

Punishment is only going to make it worse. You'd be best off having a talk (or having your wife do it) in a very unitimidating situation. Don't completely catch her off guard or give her stupid hints over and over. If she isn't sure about all of this then just go over it and what your morals are about porn. Stuff like that is part of life, but parents think there is always a time for it. You can't shelter her forever but at least inform her intelligently to the point where she understands. I've seen 12 year old girls turn into complete sluts because her parents were strict and did not have any real "intelligent" talks with her. They just threatened that if she got pregnant they would disown her. By being an open minded parent that isn't too strict she'll understand that you trust her. If she goes to far lay down the iron fist.

I can't really agree with Boski at all. It all depends on how YOU were raised and what YOU believe in. In Europe people are sometimes more open about their bodies. It just about your beliefs and society.

I'd take a week to chill and then have a calm conversation.

[tropical_fishy]

Wow...condescending jerk....at least I have a valid point.

He conceded that he thought you had a point. You conceded that you acted like a condescending jerk. Everyone is happy. Yay.


I have to agree with the poster above me. If you flip out and treat this as a huge travesty, what kind of attitude is your daughter going to have towards sex? Even healthy sexual relationships when she's older? I definitely know people who have been really messed up sexually by stuff that happened in their past.

I think it's key that you have to let her know that sex is not bad, but at the same time, you think porn is completely inappropriate for someone her age and/or completely inappropriate in general, whatever. You (or your wife) need to approach the situation calmly and not "flip the hell out" at your daughter. When my parents found out that I had/was having sex, they flipped out at me. My mother said, and I quote, "why didn't you come to me so we could have talked about why this was a bad idea?" Do you think I stopped? No. Do you think their flipping out and being completely unreasonable (my dad refused to talk to me for four months) made me see their side of the story? Hah, no. It made me feel a lot of disdain for them. I hated that they wouldn't listen to and appreciate my side of the story. Trust me, you don't want your daughter holding those kinds of feelings for you, especially over something like preteen curiousity.