A theatrical/love dilemma

[warbeak2099]

Yup, thanks. But once again, we're probably very different people. And I am not getting married at 19 lol. Nooooooo way. We are waiting till after we have graduated college. When I have completed my post NROTC or Academy training and I'm stationed, and she has got a teaching job, then we're gonna get married. Absolutely not before that though. Besides, I can't have any dependants while I'm going to the Naval Academy or to college on NROTC. Trust me lol, I've planned pretty far ahead. I'm not going to jeopardize my career goals or hers by getting married before it's all situated.

[wad04]

...........le sigh.... high school relationships.

[billybob_81067]

Hey... I got married at 19 and I'm 20 now... (almost 21). Anyways I suppose it might be true about clubbing/partying/etc... but where we live there's nothing and I mean nothing to do. The nearest clubbing place is a freaking hour drive away!

Sooooooo... in conclusion, marriages before 21 will work when both people are very committed and faithful, and also in places where there's nothing else to do!

Not saying that I'm not committed and faithful or anything, but seriously, there's nothing to do!

[warbeak2099]

I hear you, there really is nothing to do here either. But I don't plan on staying where I am. And I won't really have time for clubbing and stuff in the Navy. If I do get into the Atlantic fleet, she can meet me when I go to the Mediterranean or other parts of Europe like Britain or Germany. So we can do all that stuff together. I'm looking forward to doing that kind of thing with her, I don't see how I would be missing anything. Like I said, I think really differently from most high school guys.

wad04, don't be ignorant. Buying into stereotypes is rarely smart. There are plenty of high school relationships that work out. But, those are the ones that are handled with maturity and respect. So yes, most kids don't have the capacity for that in high school. But the ones that do, ie. ME, are the ones whose relationship works.

[Altimas]

Me and my wife dated for 6 years throughout Highschool. And we're still happily married.

[Cameo]

i wish you luck.. just so you know. navy isnt as strick as you think it is... don't believe me, visit any of the naval bases (i have been to my share) or the ports..

I to had my life planned out. i was going to finish high school, go into the military as a mp then move onto the police academy or possibly higher, at that point i was going to worry about marriage, family and the such. I had strict moral values, i had a goal and i was not going to let myslef, my family or my god down..
But things happened and they happened quick.. I got upset at my parents in an instant i rebelled and next thing i know i am now 27 iwth mor ethen one child, trying to work my way out of a slup and get back on my feet to take care of myself and my kids.
you know the nationwide commercials that say "life happens fast". they are true. it can happen in an instant.. you never know for sure where the next turn will go. having goals is great and wonderful, but you need to realize that things never go as planned.
as for "gay" friends.. I have quite a few, but they tend to be bi, and say they are gay...the freind i turn to most is by all means "gay" but in actuallity he is definatly bi...when a chick uses that excuse please be careful. It is better for a chick to say 'i have no attraction t him what so ever" ect.
~steph
ps: i hopeyour girlfriend is that shining star of the show.. support her as much as you can..

[tropical_fishy]

I hear you, there really is nothing to do here either. But I don't plan on staying where I am. And I won't really have time for clubbing and stuff in the Navy. If I do get into the Atlantic fleet, she can meet me when I go to the Mediterranean or other parts of Europe like Britain or Germany. So we can do all that stuff together. I'm looking forward to doing that kind of thing with her, I don't see how I would be missing anything. Like I said, I think really differently from most high school guys.

wad04, don't be ignorant. Buying into stereotypes is rarely smart. There are plenty of high school relationships that work out. But, those are the ones that are handled with maturity and respect. So yes, most kids don't have the capacity for that in high school. But the ones that do, ie. ME, are the ones whose relationship works.

With all due respect, everyone thinks they're in that one relationship that just HAS to work, that they're the exception to the rule. Hell, I've felt that way. Needless to say... well, we won't go there. I don't know you. I don't know that you're NOT the exception to the rule--I just know that a high proportion of high school relationships end with college, and a high percentage of divorce-- the site I was just reading said women who marry under 20 have a higher risk of divorce, but I don't know about men .

If you feel like it'll work, by all means, have at it. Best of luck to you, just know that the odds aren't in your favor and it probably won't be an easy thing .

[wad04]

Well put tropical fishy. I was in no way being ignorant, just stating that almost all high school relationships are pointless, and everyone thinks they'll be THAT couple who beats the odds As much as I wished it myself, you can't compare your life to boy meets world.

[SCpoloRicker]

I work for long term high school relationships. So I am really getting a kick out of most of these replies. Some of you guys are very good at making it sound like you know what you are talking about.

But trust me.... You don't.

I think you just want to make yourself sound smart, when in reality you don't know what you are talking about. This is how bad info gets passed around. If you don't know about the topic....Don't make yourself sound like you do.

Cuz some AOers will believe anything they read.

/orly?

[tropical_fishy]

I work for long term high school relationships. So I am really getting a kick out of most of these replies. Some of you guys are very good at making it sound like you know what you are talking about.

But trust me.... You don't.

I think you just want to make yourself sound smart, when in reality you don't know what you are talking about. This is how bad info gets passed around. If you don't know about the topic....Don't make yourself sound like you do.

Cuz some hedonists will believe anything they read.

/orly?

Anyone who's married isn't a hedonist.

Just sayin'.

[SCpoloRicker]

Anyone who's married isn't a hedonist.

Just sayin'.

Dangit, fix my typo for me.

/pwnt

[tropical_fishy]

Dangit, fix my typo for me.

/pwnt

u r so silly

LOL!

[slade]

Here's a question for you thespians on here. Ok, my girlfriend and I have been dating for 2.5 years now, we're seniors in highschool, we plan on marrying out of college, etc. Just some background. The thing is, she's in the play. She has been for a couple years. She really loves being in the musicals, I hate them myself. I'm more of a drama kind of guy.

This year's musical is "Ms. Saigon". It's the first time the play has been done off Broadway. It's a very big deal and she's very excited. She didn't get a lead, but she does play some of the more major background characters with a couple singing solos and whatnot. Most of the parts she plays are hookers and strippers (you'd understand if you knew the play lol). That right there is the main problem. At first I was like, "Wow, that's awesome. Please tell me you get to keep the costumes." Then she started to describe the scenes.

Here's where I get wierded out. Playing a Vietnamese lady of the night, she has to like fool around with guys, American soldiers. Now, I appreciate theatre, I like a bit of acting myself (drama as I said before). But this just makes me uncomfortable. There are scenes where she takes soldiers to her room, seduces them with... dancing, etc. Of course it's all fake and I'm the one who's going to be getting the real thing after the show, but still you just can't help having that nasty feeling. I don't even know if I could even b in the mood after seeing all that.

So, I'm asking any of you who may be actors, friends/significant others of actors, etc to help me out here. How do you cope with that? Any specific ways that you guys/gals deal with it? I'm certainly not going to ask my girlfriend to stop doing this and give something up that she really loves. That's out of the question. I just want to know how I can deal with it myself. I've already spoken to her about it, and i really don't feel any better lol. There's got to be some way to dispel this ridiculous anxiety.

Thanks all, I really appreciate it.

Pete

just so you dont feel bad, know that id get upset over less . i hope everything works out.

but remember, "gay" guys could either be homosexual, or "gay" to get attention/get closer to girls.

Me and my wife dated for 6 years throughout Highschool. And we're still happily married.

if you and your wife spent 6 years in highschool, i dont want to know what kind of kids youll have.

[warbeak2099]

I think he meant beginning in high school.

Ok ok guys, in all fairness I know what and who I sound like. The stereotypical, "Oh we'll make it" kid. You just have to trust me, I'm really not lol. Yes I know what I'm getting into with the Navy Cameo. My uncle is the captain of a guided missile frigate, I've been acquainted with Navy culture and life. I love getting the bimonthly newsletter from his ship just because it comes in an envelope stamped, "Department of the Navy" haha.

If you guys really knew me, you'd know I'm waaaaaaaaay different than the stereotypical highschooler. Look, I don't expect any of you to believe me. I'll tell you what, in 5 years when I marry this girl, I'll still be playing paintball and I'll post on here. I shouldn't have even mentioned the whole marriage thing in this thread. I should have known it would spark all this, "oh you kids all think everything's gonna be peachy" crap. I don't think it's gonna be easy, but we're both going to work at it and get through the hard times as we've already done. Feel free to start a betting pool or something, I can't wait to take all your money!

I really don't want to talk about this anymore, it's really depressing and unnecesary. If you still want to all talk about it, go ahead, it's a forum.

Oh, and as usual I disagree with everything Tropical Fishy says hehe.

[warbeak2099]

And actually, statistics is on my side.

The following psychological studies resulted in data that supported the hypothesis that relationships which share certain characteristics are more likely to last. Our relationship shares every single one of the positive characteristics studied in these tests:

Murray, Holmes, and Griffin. (1996a and 1996b follow-up). Study on reciprocity effects in relationships.

Drigotas, Safstrom, and Gentilia. (1999). Study on relationship between commitment and fidelity.

Sprecher. (1999). Study on commitment and relationship length/stability.

So, my argument that all these young people don't make it because of the lack of these relationship characteristics and maturity is backed up by psychological studies. I've got science and data on my side, woot!