Paintball's funniest moments......

[Crazy]

After playing a day at badlandz, with it being muddy i put my pants in my bag, caked in mud... not thinkin about two weeks later i take them out(note, they havnt been washed yet) and wash them for the next days practice. So practice comes along and the first game just started, i lane, and move to my bunker, sliding in i tore the whole entire crotch out of my pants, from front to back, knee to knee. So from now on, everything gets washed the minute i get home

[AssassN]

hahahahaha i got one but it would take to long to type so instead ill laugh and make you feel bad because you cna't hear it, HAHAHAHAHAA

[aaron_mag]

Unfortunately I have at least one story every time I go to the field.

One that was particularly funny, however, was on a woods field. It has a hill on the right side so I sprinted up and took the hill. From my position I was getting some great distance and took some people out.

One guy, however, was in his bunker tight. I figured I'd go bunker him since he wouldn't expect me sprinting down a steep hill. Off I go and naturally trip on a root. I tumbled down the hill right next to his bunker.

He is looking at me wondering if I'm okay (and cracking up). I go to raise my marker and he (of course) pumps a shot into me (still laughing).

Not the first time my clumsiness added mirth to someone else's day!!!!

[ghideon]

I played an indoor game when I got my marker. I hadn't played paintball in a few years. The indoor field was really small, maybe 30 yards by 40 yards. It was one of those places where you go, pick your bunker and stay there till there have been a bunch of eliminations. It also didn't help that at times it was 12v12 or 15v15 in that little place. One of the games starts, I poke my head out the side of my bunker and see a set of goggles. I must have dumped a dozen shots towards those goggles, and then the person raises his plexi shield and I find out it's a ref (he was wearing a red Redz jersey, as were half a dozen players). I felt like a complete n00b as he waved at me (I waved back). Less then a minute later I was taking a few shots at an actual player one bunker to the right of him; he waved at me again to make sure I knew who he was. Then, a few games later, I'm running laterally for a better bunker. The same ref is yelling a player near me to come over to him. I thought he meant me, so I bee line towards him, and he waves me off. I slide into the closest bunker, and actually knock him on his rear.

The next day I played at the Extreme Paintball Field in Modesto. I managed to rip my pants twice. I haul you-know-what to the fifty and slide on my knee (ouch). I get behind the bunker, fire a few shots and feel a slight breeze in my crotch area. I look down to see a nice rip in my BDU pants. Luckily, they have an olive drab flap that hangs down, so you can't see my tighty-whities until about two games later, when I rip a bigger hole in them.

Finally, a few weeks later at the Modesto field, I take a bunch of friends who are new to the sport for a private game. We were playing on the"rec-ball" field there, a fairly big field (we were playing 5v5). Me and a friend (John) were rolling up the opposing team's flank. There was only one enemy player left on our side of the field, his brother (Denny). Denny makes the smart move and retreats. He runs down into a depression where there are two large trees. He starts trading fire with the other people on my team, and then tries to jump the low hanging limb on one of the trees. I'm about 70 yards away, and can see him fall on his face, get to his knees, and then he gets lit up by three players on my team. Even at 70 yards I can see the paint flying off of his body. John, me and the ref couldn't stop laughing.

[Potatoboy]

Alright, I'm incredibly bored, so I'll add two.

Story 1, from my First Paintball experience.

There used to be a nice indoor field in my area called WAP. (World of Action Pursuit) The field owner was named Chuck. Nice guy. But I digress....

Every year on Chuck's birthday, he had a party at the field. Free Rental, Free Air, Free Registration, Free Food, Free Pop, Free Cake, Five cent rounds. So a group of friends got together, some experienced, some not, and decided to show up.

Needless to say it was a fairly packed field. It was a little bit ago, so I'm a little fuzzy, but I'd estimate 75 vs. 75 on a field that used to be a large grocery store.

During one of the early games, our team decided to do a massive push, and surprise the ever loving bejeesus out of the unsuspecting foe.

This is all well and good, and probably would have worked if it were not for the other team having the same idea.

So, both teams meet at their respective 40's and take cover to start the fire fight. All but one person of course...

Fortunately that person was not me, but it was a member of our group. He apparently did not notice that he was running, full bore, right into cross fire... alone.

What happened next can only be referred to as "The Gumby Run."

The field had a base of sand, dirt, and woodchips. A bit odd for an indoor field, but it was a few years ago, and most of the indoor fields around here were trying to emulate the outdoor experience. Well, under the "stuff was, well, tile.

As this person finally came to the realization that what was about to happen was a bad thing, they decided to stop. However, inertia begged to differ. They continued in their direction of travel, on one foot, in a pose that looked similar to Gumby sliding around.

However, unlike Gumby, this person proceeded to get lit up by fire, from both directions, by at least a good 20 people. (Our team was of course not aiming directly at him, but at the opposing team who was hanging out of their bunkers firing and laughing their hineys off.)

Oh, and to make it worse, the field was allowing full auto, and there were a few Rainmakers and Angels involved.

It was his last game of the day, and for the next week he was quite sore.


Story 2

This one is not quite as funny, but deserves to be mentioned anyway.

Playing with some walk-ons at a local indoor field, it came down to about a 6 on 3, and I was one of the latter.

I noticed that I was running out of air rapidly as I had not refilled my tank before the game started.

I decided that my best possible course of action was to become a diversion.

I ran towards the enemy while they were concerned with someone else, and slid into a carrot Sup Air. Normally one would slide and possibly couch, in order to snap and return to cover. I however decided to just sit behind the bunker Indian style, and promptly started to lob (about 400 PSI left in tank) balls in their general direction. They got scared... Real scared...

Sitting there I was seemingly impervious. Balls whizzed past me, and they were a bit too sheepish to move any closer and attempt (attempt?) to bunker me.

I was noticeably out of air, as I was firing and they we falling helplessly about 20 feet out, yet they seemed to consider me the greatest threat on the field. The other two guys used this as an opportunity to push, and managed to eliminate two of them before they "wizened up" and started putting some real pressure on us. After that match they didn't seem to care much about me, so I managed to snag a few of them while they were busy considering me a non threat.

[Rooster]

My first tournyment was played in a fairly baddly constructed palletesque field. On the opening run I went full bore for the fifty, but realized their back player would have a bead on me and dived for the bunker near the forty. Instead of diving I tripped and did a full summersault in the air and smacked my head right into the bunker. Not only was I dazed, but the bunker fell down. So I just sat with a dumb look on my face rubbing my head, looking at the other team for a few seconds. Luckily it was limited paint and they didn't try real hard to gun me down as i pulled the bunker back up.

Oddly enough, that was the only game we won that day.

[synreal]

tato- who executed the gumby move?

[845]

Newbie to other newbie thats an angel cause it is chrome and is running off NOS. (talking about my Micromag)

Once at the Liberty Big Game it was the end of the day and I was running very low on paint. I took out my PGP and went out on the field with 10 paintballs. We were taking a the village so I went up into the tower and I was yelling out the other teams positions. I then sat down and I watched through a hole as my team was quickly losing ground. Eventually the town was over taken with me in the tower alone. I started walking down the stairs to the tower and there I see a green JT Flex Mask I was like holy *beep* and I fell down the stairs I did manage to shoot him though but then I got lit up real bad by like 3 other guys.

[Potatoboy]

Originally posted by synreal
tato- who executed the gumby move?

Blarby.

[CRASHKING]

i did something similar to the gumby move but managed to still stand.... it was the first game of the night and i was running to the 45 and well since it has been raining in florida for quite a while now it was really muddy. and well we here the whistle and start running like mad and when i get near the bunker i try to stop right as the mud starts and luckily i stoped before knocking th bunker over. but it was scary when i realized that i had lost traction and i thought my gun was going to try and be an angel and fly(LOL) but i didnt fall and i ended up getting muddier as the night progressed.

going paintballing tommorow so i will post anything that is funny saturday.

[Ironmag]

I have one too. This happened the first time that I played. It was a 10 vs. 10 match and I'm on this team with some of my friends. Before the match we decide on strategy and I said that I was going to go right and my other friend said the same. Well, as the match starts, I run right but my friend gets delayed somehow. I'm trading shots with some guy across the field. I'm shooting from the right side of the sup air so I can't see anything to the left of me. All of a sudden my delayed friend finally decides to go full right and happens to get caught in the line of fire. I shot him a couple of times in the back and the other guy got him on the goggles and chest. So, of course he is out of the game. So then after the game all of my friends were laughing at him for getting in the line of fire and he starts getting mad at me for shooting him in the back. All I said was, "well, if you just stuck to the plan nothing would have happened." To this day we still laugh about that.

[CRASHKING]

well we(3 of us) went to the field last night at about 7:00 and got on the trollie(the shop and fields are about a football field away) and we start to play at about 7:30 and first couple of games we empty out our hoppers. since we were low on paint and no one was showing up yet we decided to put 10 paintballs into our hoppers and do 1v1(half field). well first game, the whistle blows i fire and get my friend in the goggles( i couldnt belive i had dont that)so we keep playing one on one until another trollie arrives with some more refs and there cockers(3 of them) and so another ref got a rental from the shed(one of my friends was low on paint so he stayed out)

and so me and my friend (with our spyder tl+ and flash) go on one side with a ref and his cocker and then on the other side are the other 3 refs(2 cockers and 1 rental)seeing as we play once a month we though we were going to get our buts whooped. we run to the 45 and the ref on our team with the cocker gets hit and then we think we are screwed. but we still played the game as it was fun to do. and i wasnt shooting much but watching through the cracks and observing a player as he moved and after awhile i got him out and my friend got the other 2 out. we were amazed that we were able to do that. the second game was done the same way except i got 2 guys out one with the cocker and another with the rental and then a cocker got me out but my friend got him. the last game we didnt get anyone out and thats when the refs had to go(it was fun though). but for the rest of the night it was just us 3 playing around on the field(friday nights are normally 25 vs. 25) around 10:30 we start packing up to go home.

o yeah the field was flooded as usuall and so we were soaked in mud and water but still managed to have fun

sorry if it confuses you.

man was that the best night we ever had on about 750 paintballs each.

[edwardjcarlson]

Story 1:World cup 99'. Team Far East Dragons vs. Some team I can't remember. 5 on 5 sup air field. Dragons have an terrible break and 2 get goged out of the gate, both back players. Two run on both side to the 30 and the last runs to the 50 to get the flag pull. Guy on the 50 slides in. Everyone hears a big pssssssssst! The taco at 50 is deflating. Dude was wearing metal kleats. One of the dragons on the 30 gets eliminated and the other dragon is having gun problems and is getting hammered for both sides. By this time the taco has fallen down really low and the guys on the other team eliminate the last dragon at the 30. The dragon at the 50 reaches up to get the flag pull. None of the players on the other team see him pull it and run to where the guy at the 30 was looking for the flag. The dragon at the fifty realizes they can't see him due to the taco laying on him. He plugs both guys in the back leaving 3. The other guys see the 2 get eliminated and take positions behind the 30 sup air cans. They still can't figure out where the last dragon is and they slowly start easing up the field. The solo dragon plugs the lead guy when he gets to about their 40, but has a barrel break and jams. Everyone sees him beating the crap out of the gun to no avail. The 2 guys left figure out that he has to be in the middle and talk up a plan to run on the left and right side at the same time.
The last dragon knocks off the now almost flat taco and takes off running at the same time that the two guys go around the sides to get him. The timing was so good, they all miss seeing each other. The dragon runs down and hangs the flag only to be eliminated because he left his gun at the taco to make the hang. It was a bummer they didn't win, but you have to admit it was a great game.

Story 2: World cup 99' 10 man, AA. vs Rage or (cant remember) Awesome game, lasted a long time. Lotsa guys having to go out due to running out of air or paint. The AA's are running all shockers (Hey it was 99!), but the team they were playing had a couple of these new guns called angels. (Hmmm, can you see a passing of the torch?)
Came down to 3 on 3 and 2 of the AA's were pinned down in a far corner bunker that looked like a fox hole. The other team could not get a shot on them. One of the 3 remaining AA's took a hit and One of the ones in the bunker tried to get out and got demolished. So for 5 min the last AA managed to get 2 of the remaining guys. The last guy on Rage ran out of paint and hauled butt back to the rear. The AA guy thinks he is trying to lure him out and stays in the bunker taking pop shots. The Rage guy gets to the back and starts hitting the net looking for unbroken paintballs. He manages to get about a half a hopper of allstars that someone had dumped near the fence from the previous game. He starts working his way back up. The AA must have had 3 cases of paint on his back, because he was constantly firing. The Rage guy takes a position at midfield and lets off a short burst. One of the balls goes high and hits the back netting, bounces, and breaks on top of the bunker. He fires three more and one goes inside and the ref runs to the AA to check for a hit. The Rage guy sees the ref checking him and unloads the rest of the hopper into the fence and eliminates the AA guy in the bunker. Man talk about a bad bounce!
I have plenty more, but thats enough for today.

[SirOssis]

Ah Country Club Paintball... that place is setup for non stop paintball comedy. Can't tell you how many times I've gone shoulder first into the wooden bunkers or have the legos fall over or just plain end up on my back out in the open.

Then there was the Armason(sp?) tournament at CPX 2 years ago. To set this up.. the tournament is in the middle of Feb and for the 2 weeks prior it did nothing but rain. The day of the tournament the temp drops to 30, starts snowing, winds at a steady 40mph gusting to 50's. Well they couldn't setup the sup air cuz of the wind so they pretty much just randomly roped off fields. We go to walk the fields... the mud is anywhere from 6-12 inches deep everywhere. someone was losing a shoe like everyother game. I in turn rip my pants from ankle to ankle. Mr. Happy wasn't to happy.

Another good one for me was trying to do a dead man's walk with the gun in one hand... the hopper in the other.. and the barrel in my pocket(was borrowing a gun and didn't know what the heck was wrong with it)

[BTAutoMag]

ok i was playing at a friends house that ive never played at before. the rule at his house is that if you are out of air or balls, youre screwed. you have to be hit to get out.

anyways. 4th game of the day, 5 on 5. one of the guys on my team was stupid enough to come onto the field with two guns which we all were laughing at but we let him none the less. well the game plays out nomally and he accually did pretty good. it came down to a guy with a tippmann RT vs me and the two gun guy (now only using one) well i run out of air and just as i run out the two gun kid yells at me that he's out of paint.getting a hairbrained idea i dash over to his bunker and hand him one of my pods and he hands me the tank on his other gun. i disconnect my tank and just when he's about to load the balls into his tank the kid with the tippy rt bunkers us. his gun went reactive fully auto and he unloaded the rest of his hopper on us (about 50 balls)...

well me and the other dude are on our hands and knees expecting the worse and when he finaly runs out of paint i slowly poke my head up. the rt dudes laughing on the best move he's ever made. i look my self over and look at the other guy and say "he didnt hit me... you still in?" immediatly the guy stops laughing, looks at us amazed and BOOKS, pulling a spare pod out of his pack on the way.the guy behind me says "oh that little prick" reloads the other balls and BOOKS after him. im thinking the same thing so i grab the full tank and book after the other two. i manage to screw in the tank and gass my mag while running and i make it to where they stopped to shoot at each other.i yell at the guy to runn to his left as a distraction and i run to the right to bunker him. he see's me comming and fires a shot at me that misses the top of my head by milimeters (i felt it) and i hear the sure fire sound that a tippmann just ran out of air. i run up to his bunker and point my mag at his mask and yell "SURRENDER OR YOURE TURNING PINK"...

ever so s l o w l y he pulls his left hand up... recocks his tippy and fires another shot... i gave him fair warning so i proceed to empty the rest of my hopper on him (about 30 balls) and i didnt miss.

after the game every one was laughing about it until he took off his shirt and we saw the welts. then we started laughing again