Calling ALL!!! Got Paintball Jokes?!?

[nato]

Hey guys... throughout the years I have received much pleasure from this forum. The invigoratingly lively threads. The very technical, knowledgeable intellect. And of course the comical attributes that flow from the wonderful minds of my fellow paintballers. I would like to call forth a band of AO'ers with wit and ingenuity to form jokes so funny that it will cause sever joy and laughter to all who read the comical verse.

So what I'm asking is... Got a funny one? :)

Thanks,
N.A.T.O.

[ghideon]

How many tourny ballers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One. But you need a ref to...
CHECK HIM!! ON HIS HOPPER! REF CHECK HIS HOPPER!

[Automaggot68]

How many tourny ballers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One. But you need a ref to...
CHECK HIM!! ON HIS HOPPER! REF CHECK HIS HOPPER!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH!!!!!
That made me spit out my gatorade!!

[slade]

i can tell that this is going to be a great thread...

cant wait to see more jokes!! (that was a good one ghideon)

[Mango]

..

[Krysys]

hmmm.

Saw this in a mag...made me pee myself.

What do dynesty and an egg have in common? You can whip them both in 30 seconds.

[JoshK]

do they have to be paintball? because I got some other good ones...

Things you shouldn't say to a Police Officer



1. I can't reach my license unless you hold these stolen diamonds.
2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
5. Are You Andy or Barney?
6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
8. I pay your salary!
9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are!
12. When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"



Three guys, a Canadian, Osama bin Ladin and Uncle Sam are out walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. "I will give each of you each one wish, that's three wishes total," says the Genie.

The Canadian says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada." With a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' the land in Canada was forever made fertile for farming.

Osama bin Ladin was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Afganistan, so that no infidels, Jews or Americans can come in to our precious state."
Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' there was a huge wall around Afganistan.

"Uncle Sam" (A former civil engineer), asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall." The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 15,000 feet high, 500 feet thick and completely surrounds the country; nothing can get in or out---virtually impenetrable."

"UncleSam" says, "Fill it with water."



One day, there was a catastrophic event that caused all humans on Earth to
die. To sort things out, everyone went to heaven. God came in and said, "I
want the men to make two lines. One line for the men who ruled their women
on earth and the other line for the men who were ruled by their women.
Also, I want all the women to go with St. Peter." With that, the next time
God looked, the women were gone and there were two lines.

The line of men who were ruled by their women was 1000 miles long, and in
the line of men who ruled their women, there was only one man. God became
angry and said, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you in
my image and you were all whipped by your mates. Look at the only one of my
sons who stood up and made me proud. Learn from him! Tell them, my son,
how did you manage to be the only one in this line?"
The man replied, "I don't know. My wife told me to stand here."



I laughed so hard when I heard all three of those...

[ScatterPlot]

Lol!

[nato]

hahaha! All laugh worthy! Please keep it to paintball since any guy can pull regular jokes off the web and also because we are in the Paintball Talk section! Keep them coming!

N.A.T.O. :)

[BionicSniper]

How can u spot a stock player at a tourney??

Hes got a 12gram on a remote

[dj89]

http://www.automags.org/forums/showt...highlight=cops

[JoshK]

You COPY CATTER!!! No j/k actually I got mine off christianpaintball.com

[Jeffy-CanCon]

Check this paintball humour compiled by Durty Dan:

Durty Dan's SplatHappy paintball humour

[dj89]

i posted mine long before you did. you are the copy cat

[1ofkind]

What sport do you need the most balls to play?