Whymillywhy's Girl Problems Thread with Pics

[Duzzy]

This is probably a little deep for a 14 year old (I still haven't gotten the hang of it and I am 19). However, someone once told me that the best way to have a successful relationship is to base it on what you can give the other person not what you can get from them. If you can't think of anything then be her friend until you can. It doesn't have to be much, you can make her laugh, be a shoulder to cry on, be someone to support/talk to her. Not to be too much of a downer but I agree with the others when they say you don't know what love is, however, I also respect your responses. Very mature for a 14 yr old. Oh, and loneliness is not a good reason to date someone, common ground is a much better reason.

[Jonneh]

Suprise sex her and you'll find out how she feels about you.

[whymillywhy]

Duzzy, good post, good advice, thanks a lot

I'm kinda a comic at times, so Girls can't always take me seriously...

Well, At least I got through the Emo stage of Puberty pretty much, now I just make fun of them

But, I give her support a lot, I help her when she has problems, why even this weekend, I helped her with a problem with some *****es in her class (We only have 40 people per grade Average) And I helped her, {I also find those girls as *****es, and they try and give me a hard time}

[whymillywhy]

Suprise sex her and you'll find out how she feels about you.

I already expressed my feelings about sex with her, I'd feel too guilty doing her, it isn't one of those kind of loves...

[MayAMonkeyBeYourPinata]

This is probably a little deep for a 14 year old (I still haven't gotten the hang of it and I am 19). However, someone once told me that the best way to have a successful relationship is to base it on what you can give the other person not what you can get from them. If you can't think of anything then be her friend until you can. It doesn't have to be much, you can make her laugh, be a shoulder to cry on, be someone to support/talk to her. Not to be too much of a downer but I agree with the others when they say you don't know what love is, however, I also respect your responses. Very mature for a 14 yr old. Oh, and loneliness is not a good reason to date someone, common ground is a much better reason.

Relationships are very much give and take. Not just give because everyone is selfish whether we like it or not.

[TDonovan]

You sound like me when I was in 8th grade (same age).

Here's the best advice I can give you...

-sorry to say it, but you are not ready for a relationship
-wait a year or three and you might be ready
-stop talking online to girls
-start talking to them in person
-sex is not something you should even THINK about right now

[Duzzy]

Relationships are very much give and take. Not just give because everyone is selfish whether we like it or not.

Tis true, but if you go into a relationship with only yourself in mind where will it be when you don't get what you want consistently? Oh yeah, with someone else most likely. On the other hand if both people go into it seeing what they can give the person then in theory everyone should be happy. You give to them and take what they give to you, give and take. Like I said, I am still working on it myself, but the principle is not a bad one.

[whymillywhy]

I am more open when I talk online to people than in real life, I have not idea why, but I am more comfortable talking online, but I will try the talking thing

[gimp]

Do you think it's right to post a picture of this 7th grade girl on the internet where a bunch of hungry pedophiles can look at it?

Anyway, here is my advice. Maybe not advice, but another idea. I'd say give it more time. Wait a couple years till your more mature. 14 is to young to be dating. I think 16 or 17 is the right age, but that's another story. Here is what you do though. You don't become good friends, once you do that, you've dug yourself a hole. You'll get the 'we're such good friends, and I don't want to lose that' line when you ask her on a date or something. It's happened to me and it sucks. Granted, being friends is nice, but it's not what your always looking for. I'd say don't talk to her to much. You know, like don't go out of your way to see her or something, but be nice and friendly if she talks to you. Then you'll see her at some party a few years later and give her the old 'I used to have a wicked crush on you' line. By then, she'll be more mature and not care as much about what her friends think of you. That line is the only one that has worked on more than one occasion for me. If it's true or not, it doesn't make a difference.

That's an elaborate plan you could try. I still think your to young to be dating. Especially her, she looks 12 years old. Holding hands in the back of your parents minivan will get old fast.

And one more thing, don't fear rejection. It's gonna happen sometimes, just take it like a man and get on with your life. Or keep asking till she caves and goes out with you for pity.

Good luck!

[Eric Cartman]

If I was her, I don't think I'd be too happy about you posting my picture on an internet forum and talking to a bunch of people I don't know about me.

Then again, I'm not a 14 year old girl so what do I know? Still, seems a little creepy to me.

[whymillywhy]

Oh well, She already gives me crap about being a stalker because circumstances make me walk behind her, She is older than 12

Im just afraid if I wait, I will lose my chance, and she is into older guys too

[Duzzy]

I am more open when I talk online to people than in real life, I have not idea why, but I am more comfortable talking online, but I will try the talking thing

Probably because you aren't near the people so there are no people to feel stupid around. If you make a mistake you can say you were typing it for someone else or some other easy cover up and they won't ever know.

I have to say that the "We're such good friends and I don't want to lose it" line may be a line, but it is also true. It is hard to go back to a normal friendship with someone you have broken up with.

I am on the fence about the not being her good friend idea. On one hand a relationship will be more exciting (possibly problematic) when you don't know the person that well, but on the other hand you don't have a good foundation yet so when it hits the fan it is harder to handle it because you don't know how they work well enough yet to know how to deal with them. My College Comp Prof would kill me for that last sentence...

Advice, don't ask her out unless it is in person, even at the risk of feeling worse (you will, rejection shouldn't be as bad because you aren't face-to-face). Also, don't base your relationship on IM. It is stupid and doesn't give you a chance to know "HER" because people behave differently on the computer than in person. And be aware that if you do go out with her she will change. They always change...

[Duzzy]

Oh well, She already gives me crap about being a stalker because circumstances make me walk behind her

Wanting to watch her walk (to put it nicely) does not count!

[whymillywhy]

Well, I know it will be different if we break up, its just I think if we got through the whole beginning thing, we would be good together, but I think her friends with affect her, and if I did ask her, it would be all over the school and I would be reduced to nothing

[whymillywhy]

Wanting to watch her walk (to put it nicely) does not count!

Did I say she has a great ***? But you don't know that She was just kidding with me I guess, but it is a positive I can drive (She said I was stalking her once when I was going to the car with the keys