Dumbest / Funniest Events Witnessed

[GotMag?]

man, i had one yesterday, we were playing a game with a lot of noobs that dont move. So, the idea was, when teh whistle blows, you gotta move, im at the fifty(cant cross it) and they blow the whistle, so im running, fall, drop my friends cocker and get hit twice

[tyrion2323]

My funniest paintball experience:

My fraternity went on a paintball excursion to HeadRush paintball in Syracuse, NY. I know the HR guys pretty well, and so I was excited to play at the new facilities before the grand-opening.

It was a blustery day that day, and the field was not quite up to its current condition. I had just purchased my paint and was getting ready to gear up when all of a sudden I hear my brothers yelling,
"What the ?"
I turn around to see that the XBall middle X has detached from its anchors and is sliding towards me with enough speed to knock over a HANDICAP sign. Now, this all happens within a second or two. I turn around, see the sign go down and all of a sudden I'm bowled over by this massive X.

All of my brothers rushed in to pull it over me and get me up - I was so discombobulated!

Anyways, it may be lame, but being hit by an out of control bunker is pretty freaky!

[Enemy]

ok i have many but ill post my favorite first..

so im playing and it gets to be a 2vs1 me being the one and my friend takes out my whole left side this is a canyon field no mind you so its pretty hard to do anything bout that! so i see this and start running straight at a spindle that is snugged in between two hills facing the way i need it to. so i go to run past it by steping up on the hill and my leg slides down and my whole left side slams into the spindle so i spin around land on my back and lay there thinking ow!!! then i hear my buddy start to shoot at me. so i roll over behind the spindle stand up and think that SOB he shot at me while i was down so i pull down my pants and moon him just for spite. i jump back behind the bunker cool he didnt hit me. so i pull up my pants and as i do so i stood up a little to far and this kids mom shots me in the side of my head from like 80 feet away.. oh man we still laugh about that one.

the other is when i was playing airball at the sportspark and i bunker my buddy todd who is on a good team. then i go to bunker his back player well the guy starts to come out the right side so i cross over and come around the left and to my surprise the ground is covered in paintballs. so i slip on them like a bad movie on marbles but the guy i bunkered panics and trys to run around to keep me from getting the angle, but he slips and falls as well so i roll over and being nice with my classic shoot him once in the leg well he walks me up hitting me twice in the armpit!! then proceedes to tell me that the hit on his leg was caused by the fall!!!! the next game a bright orange splot suddenly appeared on his shirt smeared to all heck so yeah the next time i see that guy the x gets a work out on bps!!!

[50 cal]

1) We were playing a five man in the woods(before speedball) I pinned a guy down behind a very small hump in the ground, every so often he would yell and jump up. I thought he was gonna rush me. Me and my brother let him have it! He would get back behind the bump, we thought he caught a bunch of bounces. He jumped up a few more times, we let him have it each time.
He finally jumped up and ran straight back the way he came from, all the while he was stripping out of his clothes. We had pinned him on an anthill. By the time he got off the field he had on just his underwear. We all laughed till we cried.

2) I was reffing the Knoxville Indoor one of the last years it was held. There was this girl on one team that made some great moves on different people. On a break, she made for the 50 on one tape. Some guy passed by her from the other team trying to slide into a bunker just past her. While she was sliding into her bunker, she spun and fired one shot that tagged the guy in the side of the mask. Everyone stopped what they were doing while they watched her make this shot. The entire arena broke into applause. It was a heck of a great shot.

[flyinasian016]

1) Playin Recball about 2 months ago when my field had a 10-man hyperball field. My plan was to go to the right 45 off break, which was about maybe 30-35yds off the gate, well right off break i am running and my hopper falls off about 15yds into the run. So i have to turn around pick up my hopper and continue running to the 45. By now, their back guys were settled into their bunkers and here i am still trying to make it into mine. about 5yds before the bunker i do a baseball slide right into a huge pile of mud so i slide right into the bunker, butt first. I had a sore butt the remainder of the game. I also made a move from the right 45 to the center 50, and i dive headfirst trying not to hurt my butt anymore and i end up hitting my barrel against the bunker putting a HUGE scratch on my barrel. And then i got bunkered

2) At the previous AOVA day at Pevs we were platyin the hyperball field. So i get to my primary bunker without a problem, i go to make my secondary move which is the bunker right beside mine. First step out of my bunker and i slip, drop a pod of paint onto the ground and most of my hopper. So im scrambling to get to my second bunker without getting shot. Luckily i made it. But Right when i stand up in my secondary bunker i fall again. It was very slippery and my cleats were pointless seeing how they had mud between the studs.

I guess i have bad coordination and bad balance.

[slade]

oh yeah i forgot to post the best one ever:

one time i was at an airball field where the teams were changed every game, so no one could remember who was on their team. about 2/3 of the way through the game, someone slid into the bunker next to me and asked where the last player on the other team was. i told him where he was and then i moved up to the next bunker, shot at him, and missed. the player who was at the bunker i just left gogged him, leaving the two of us on the field. the refs didnt call the game. we waited about 30 seconds, then i said to him "what side of the field did you start on?" he said "i started over there" and i said "oh... i started over there..." we paused and then dived behind our bunkers, then started shooting at each other. i ended up hitting him. i dont know how he ended up beside me if he was on the other team, but he ended up shooting his own teammate out and then i got him out.

and at the same place towards the end of the day we played a recycled game, and eventually there was only me and one other person left. at the start of the game, we both sprinted towards the dorito at the 50 without the other knowing it, then heard the other, and (since there was a surrender rule) we both went around the bunker and shouted "surrender!" at the same time. the next game i didnt want the same thing to happen, so i sprinted to the center 50, a huge x on the ground (not the x-ball x). then i looked around, didnt see him, and went to the next notch in the x, the one on the right side. i didnt see anyone from there, so i went back to where i was in the x before (facing my side of the field), and then went to the notch in the x on the left side. i didnt see anyone from there. i then saw all of my friends on the sideline laughing, and thought they had played a joke on me and he had left the field (but i didnt have my glasses so i couldnt see if he was there). then i heard something across from me, stood up, and yelled "surrender" exactly when he did. aparently we had both run to the center x, and moved in the same pattern around it always staying opposite from the other, and then realized where the other person was at the same time.

[-Tab]

i'll try to keep it short

playing recball at my field:

pb4jc and i were reffing. my brother and a bunch of other kids were playing. my brother is in the snake.

someone on the opposing team(NOT my brothers team) called for a paintcheck on a player on my brother's team.

pb4jc went to check him. he ran past the snake(where my brother is).
as soon as he passed the last barrel in the snake, my brother, very surprised and unexpecting put 2 in pb4jc's groin area

my brother obviously thought he was an opposing player trying to bunker him.


not the funniest story ever, but it's always fun to see someone get shot in the groin

[AGDlover]

ok i just remembered this. Trible man you probly remember this. now i didn't show up till the end of the game my gun was jacked up. ok when i show up Sn Y per was playin Xball with a pump, he makes a bump from the 30 or 40 to the 50, crawls around and he just yells "ahhhh 1 ball" then starts picking balls up off the ground, looks at em, and puts em in his gun,craws some more and takes out the other team. it was awome


OOOOOOO
another sn Y per one ok off the break in a hyper ball field he runs to the 50 with nothing but a stick, no sydearms, pumps, xmag nothen but a stick picks up some paintballs and throws them at the guy infront of him who was on the other team. so i gave him one of my pods that i had in my pack. and he says "what should i throw the hole pod?" so i told him just trow em 1 at a time or w/e. so he throws his stick at the guy on the other teams 40 and goes "WOULD YOU LIKE TO SURRENDER?....PLEASE?" since the ref has his 2 PT extreams he took em back and bunkered the whole right side of the other team, walks up behind the other teams side, not run but walked....casualy...even probly said hi to me. so he takes out that side and owns the game.

[magmandylan]

okay i have two

one was of my friend at scvillage. The ref had called 30 seconds left so he decided to go rambo with about five other guys. He said ready GO!! then fell over a root shooting himself and two other guys. It was hilarious .

the other one was of a guy who wanted to see how far he could get up the feild without a gun. Eventually there were two guys on the other team left that no one could get so he ran to bunker both of them telling them to surrender and he one the game. The two guys who surrendered were no doubt humiliated and made fun of for the rest of the day :rofl: .

[MasonFootball89]

Hey first story their was a total newb on the field and as scared as noobs are the have to shoot and hide at the same time so the ref comes out to check on someone and the newb shoots the ref like 20 times until the ref takes a gun and bunkers the kid.

Me and my freinds were playing at a place with really bouncy bunkers and I jumped on the 50 and jumped over the dorito need less to say i landed it and got shot like 60 times.

I also had an expierience in an old house where one of my friends was walking on the 2nd floor and fell straight through the floor and then straight into the basement. When he got back up stairs he found that I had took out one of the support beams to the floor haha

[Number13]

Dumbest and Funniest

Dumbest:
A fourteen year old kid comes out to the field while I'm reffing last year tricked with the angel fly his mommy bought him and a barrel plug that is so loose it rattles in his barrel. I see this and am walking over to him in staging before he can get on the field and he bumps his angel with the mouse-click trigger job - shoots the barrel plug right past the face of a young boy who was there with his dad. Not so cool. I kick the kid out (and here's where it gets a bit funny) so he calls his mom on his cell phone. She comes back to the field and literally starts screaming at me that I can't kick her kid out. I told her he didn't even safe his marker in staging and was using a barrel plug that he knew was not at all functional. Her reply was "It's electronic - it doesn't have a safety! You can't kick him out because the gun doesn't have a safety!" I started to explain that not only can you safe the marker but you can turn the whole thing off, but her blank stare told me it was a waste of time and I just walked away.


Funny:
When deflating the airfield, sometimes little Chad would sit on one end of the giant sausage and hold competitions to see who could jump on the other end and launch him the farthest.

At a 3 man tourney, in the silence right after the 10 second warning, the other guy on the team randomly says, "Nothing better than ****ing a five year old..." The chick and I were laughing so hard we almost missed the breakout.
If you're a newer team trying to find a grove together, remember: in the early games of a tourney, try to lighten the mood a bit and play smooth - sometimes you just get too tense trying to make it happen early and you forget to play naturally. Or, worse, you start venting your tension onto your teammates. The first wins will keep the morale up throughout the tourney.

[Torbo]

heres what i can think of off the top of my head:

we're playing 5 man on a super 7 field...which is very very long. we have a guy on our team who is 53, and he doesnt run too rapidly....quite slowly in fact. His name is Ken. so he is playing a standup on about the 20 or so. a kid slides into the snake and crawls up to the 50 box on the snake. Ken decides that the kid isnt allowed to be in the snake anymore. So he runs from his standup over to the tape, then down the length of the snake. As he goes by he BARREL TAGS the kid in the snake. straight pokes him in the back with his barrel. Ken made it that far, i dont know how, considering that there were 3 guns shooting at him, and he is not fast. But he kept going and got shot or something. But it was definatly one of the funniest things ive ever seen....because it took him to long to get there.

[ScatterPlot]

Playin a pickup speedball game one time, everyone but my friend tagged out, there were I think 3 guys left on the other team. They start moving toward his back bunker pretty fast, pretty confident cause he was alone. From like across the field my friend nails this guy in the neck while he's running, knocked him flat on the ground. Proceeded to win the rest of the game

[-Tab]

couple more:

playing recball at my field
it was 2 on 2 to start off with. off the break, i run a few feet and get shot in the balls - from ACROSS THE ENTIRE FIELD. it hit just perfectly to drop me(he wasn't shooting hot, because we use a chrono)
i start falling and my trigger finger already had some momentum. i put 3 in my teammates back from about point blank range. after that, i just layed their........for the whole game.

a player moves up from the back. he slid feet first - only a little too late. both feet kick the bottom corner of the bunker and completely spins the bunker one half a turn.
so he's left completely exposed w/ his bunker turned the opposite direction of the rest.
and of course, he got totally lit up.

------ ---- ----- <----the way the bunkers should be
-----
l
l <----- His bunker
l

[flyinasian016]

Another funny:

Playing Hyperball, and the back row is 3 double standups. Well, this kid who is only like 10-11 runs to the center double and somehow manages to knock over the bunker completely. He is only like 90lbs, and the start gate was about 10feet away. We had the bunkers nailed to peices off 2x4's which were hammered into the ground about a foot. I dont see how this little kid knocked over such a big bunker but he did it.

My field purchased the mudi-gras X-ball field from the 2004 Mardi gras. so the way we have it set up is on the right tape theres a dorito, 2 laydowns, then an aztec, another 2 laydowns and a dorito. Well, one of the guys on the other team who is like 50+ decides to bunker a kid on the opposite side of the aztec. Well, in order for him to do this he must jump the laydown and come around and shoot the kid. Well, everything the bunker was going smoothly until he tried to jump and got his foot caught in the bungy that was holding the ladown still. So he jumps but doesnt get to far before he falls on top of the laydown.

Funny bunker:
Our back guy, which we call whopper, is the onyl 1 left for our team. its a 1v1, both people are in the back bunkers. Whopper makes a run to the X without the opposing player seeing him and comes around the x. Whopper takes a couple of shots to tuck the other player in and runs full speed(which isnt very fast) right into the guys bunker. Seeing how the other guy was tucked close to his bunker he flew off the bunker about 10-15 feet and got shiot about 6 times.

^Try it, just run full speed into the other guys bunker and the hit will push him off his bunker in which you can just give the guy 1-2 shots and still be alive.