Time to beat my neighbor with a stick

[Glickman]

I don't know what turned this women against us. We have been nothing but nice to her over the years, brought her dinner when she had surgery and couldn't walk, taken care of her yard, etc. Then one day she hates us.

in all seriousness pms/menopause?

[PyRo]

in all seriousness pms/menopause?

Nah she was done with that a long time ago.

[Thunder Bunny]

Yeah it wouldn't piss me off so much if her car wasn't parked in the street.
If she didn't call the town because our bushs were out of ordinance while hers are
If she didn't call the town because a neighbor build a deck without a permit when she has no permit for hers
If she didn't call the town because our fence was 2in too high when her fence is illigle
If she didn't call the police when we played basketball or anything in the street
If she didn't call the police when we had go carts
If she didn't come out screeming about how we were making too much noise at 4:00PM
If she didn't put weed killer in out vegtable garden
If her can didn't piss all over our house
If she didn't feed squirrls and racoons which in turn knock over garbage cans and hide nuts all over the place
If she didn't call the police and tell them we shot her cat with a pellet gun (we had BB guns the cat had a pellet in it)
If she didn't write a letter to the newspaper about how we were horrible neighbors
If she didn't try to turn all the neighbors against us
I could go on and on.

Wow, that's like my neighborhood. My neighbors have called neighborhood code enforcement because

• Trash cans visible from the street
  I was cleaning the shed and left stuff out in the yard overnight
  Parked my semi in front of my house on Father's day.
  Didn't drive my truck for over a month. (motorcycle, )
  Put the garbage out too early.
  Drag racing (just once, I swear!)
  Too many cars in the driveway

and so on. Never mind the fact that we are not the only one whose trash cans are visible, have more than two cars in the drive, don't drive a car for a month or more, etc. Hell, there's ven people who park two cars in their yard and nobody cares. I'm just surrounded by cranky old farts who have nothing better to do than piss me off.

[kevdupuis]

Got an engine that can turn 7 grand and 3" exhaust? You can always check the advance curve with the pipes pointed at her house.
I love old cars with big engines.

[Lohman446]

My neighbors on the south property line are jerks - they raise pitbulls and the whole county whines about it, I could care less, we have an understanding that if one is in my sight I'm going to shoot it, and there chained very well. The south property line is 1/4 mile away so I really don't care what they do anyways and have been nothing but nice to them - they have been ok to me to, but there jerks to everyone else. I told his father one day the reason your son is treated like an _____ is because he is an ______ . Hehe, truth.

So there is this access road between our properties for the property behind us. The road does not run dead even with the property lines, at the beginning it is 100% on mine, at the end all on theres. Keep in mind this road is so ill maintained that the last time I went down it in a full size Silverado I had to fetch my 4020 crawler to retrieve it, basically the four wheel drive tractors can get down it and thats about it. Well they were whining that someone was running up and down it in a full size Ford at night. There are holes in it that could swallow a full size Ford. They put up a gate one day before my father tried to go back there - so he cut it down because he didn't have a key (deeds also require keys to all parties if WE choose to install a gate) and the gate was all the way on our property. They now defer to us and make sure we have keys.

So my Uncle is walking down my property for whatever reason - don't know why didn't ask. He is not even on the access road but actually on my property. The lady comes out of the house, confronts my uncle and tells him he's trespassing on there land and if he doesn't get off right now she's calling the cops. My uncle opened his badge for her, and offered her the chance to reevaluate that statement and where she was standing

[Brak]

there is one and only one solution to your problem

[Glickman]

time to combine our collective minds and think of something really good...

- if their pretty old, and use their handrails alot, lube them up real good



-Catrap!

without being to conspicuous, make it easy for their cat to come in your yard

purchase one of those racoon traps, and try baiting with several types of foods and such

"wheres my cat young man!"

*throw the dead cat while still stuck in the trap over the fence*

"your cat ruined my trap!"

[RevBrown]

time to combine our collective minds and think of something really good...

Anything involving M-80's or bottle rockets is a good place to start.

[WicKeD_WaYz]

yea the only way to deal with pricks is to be one yourself.

I have this neighbor who is a complainer like yours...except he used to come to my front door and try to tell on me for airsoft guns, paintball guns, too many of my buddy's cars parked outside, skateboarding, music, every little thing you can think of he would come to my front door looking for a parent, even tho my parents hate his *** too. A few times he called the cops on me too for bottles and what not laying in the street that werent even mine.

So me and my buddies started harassing him everytime we saw him and starting fights with his 2 sons who are like 20 something and still live at home. Everytime he even came close to my house I got in his face. Not to mention the occasional flaming bags of crap on his front porch everytime he called the cops, or sometimes we'de go over and cut his power off when he deserved it, or deflate his tires. After a month or so he got sick of it and was sort of affraid to come near my house any longer and he wouldnt call the cops cuz we would retalliate and he knew it was us even though he couldnt prove it.

Moral of the story... I havnt even heard from him in over a year. So if you scare the old hag enough maybe she wont bother with you any more because it will just make a bigger problem.



EDIT:HERES SOME STUFF I RECCOMEND TO PISS HIM OFF.

if he has double doors put a piece of PVC pipe or something between the 2 front door handles, beat on the door for a few minutes, and he cant come outside through the front cuz his doors wont open. you could also cut his power to scare him more, sometimes this isnt easy though depending on where his power box is.


defalting the tires is always a pain in the ***

theres tons you can do to the lawn with weed killer, "just add water" instant potatoes, and some other stuff...the possibilities there are endless.

flaming dog crap on the porch/ be careful though I know a guy who lit the front bushes on fire when they went to kick it out so he went to juvi.

ring the doorbell, stand in the front yard, and just knock her out with a water balloon as soon as she opens it.

key her car, break something in the front yard, egg her house, spray paint the garage door\

break all yard lights/ sprinklers

the tilted trash can full of water is always fun but dont get caught

just harass him/her in general to the point where if they see you they will walk the long way around to avoid confrontation....most old people will have a heart attack if you make use of that big teenage vocabulary of yours.

[AGDlover]

Anything involving M-80's or bottle rockets is a good place to start.

my bro has a crate full of 1/4 sticks of dinamite

[WicKeD_WaYz]

my bro has a crate full of 1/4 sticks of dinamite

how much of a stick of dynamite is a m-80?


im talking full on mexico m-80's...nothing you can buy in the US. anyone know?

[PyRo]

You don't have 1/4 sticks of dynomite that is just a rumor.

She does have a 40+ year old son still living with her :)

[HoppysMag]

how much of a stick of dynamite is a m-80?


im talking full on mexico m-80's...nothing you can buy in the US. anyone know?

a real m80 is a 1/4 stick i think

[Glickman]

a real m80 is a 1/4 stick i think

m80s are 1/4, but alot of people confuse "ashcans" for m80s

ashcans are waterproof as well, and are the same size, but dont have as much explosive, and no where as near a sound effectiveness

[Linkwarner]

You definently know whenever you set off a real M80, they seem to shake the world. What I would do is get the neighbors cat, and slit its throat, and hang it by a nuce in her front yard, but I am just evil that way I guess, also I hate cats, unless they are grey, I dont know why?