Tell Us Your Best Noob stories

[Carbon]

For the sake of entertainment, amusement or what have-you, tell us your noob/newb stories. Silly gun questions, hilarous noob comments, hell even noob things youve done yourself and the basic run of the mill: Newb + $1500 gun = noob hilarity stories. In any case try too keep it non fiction.

[Carnage]

Id go out in the open thinking im god and no one can hit me then next minute I had like 20 bruises = (

[Phil]

This is not overly amusing but my first time playing was in the eightys. I talked several of my friends into purchasing splatmasters. I lived in a small town in mississippi and that was the only paintball guns for sale and the only ones we knew existed. My safety equipment consisted of a hunting vest. We played at night after we got off of work in the field next to work. There were four of us and we paired off and went for it. I was camping in a shrub too scared to move when one of the opposing team members came creeping by my spot. He didn't see me and I waited till he was about 5 feet away. I was so nervous my gun was shaking and I blasted him in the forehead. He dropped like I had just killed him and I freaked out and ran over to see if he was ok. He was but he had a nasty bruise(sp?). Looking back its a miracle that no one was permanently injured but we were clueless about safety equipment and procedures. We even put the paintballs in the freezer because splatmasters tended to break alot of paintballs. Yes back then they would freeze.

[TecnoRobo]

Im shaking just thinking about that phil..

aye.. ooh.. ouch

For those of you that participated in paintball in the eightys that were oblivious to or didnt know you needed paintball safety equipment, im so sorry.

[FreakBaller12]

ok.. abotu a month of ago we got a newb on our team. we decided to play some 3 on 3 woodsball. So it was me and my friends againest the enwb and 2 others. I was stuck defending the flag that game my two friends move close to there base and start lighting up the base with paint. The newb got liek 2 shots of cuz of his pump. Whiel his teamates jsut sat there laughign there a$$es off. HE surrendered and the other two did not fire a shot at us. MY team mates went grabbed the flag and ran back and won. In return we had a player surrendered and 5 guys laughign, all u hear is abotu 30 or 40 shots at hitting the base and then a kid screamign a surrender then laughter.

[HoboJudge]

newb- (after I took out my minimag) what type of gun is that?
me- a minimag
newb-Is it full auto?
me-no
newb-How much did you pay for it?
me-I got it for $210 used
newb- dude, you should have just gone online and gotten a new electro spyder package for less than $200

[hAppy]

lol hobo thats priceless

the newbies would stare at my warp and crap their pant

[Torbo]

newbies always seem to let their hoppers and/ or pods fall open, so they drop their paint all over. Anyone else notice that? Anyway, my friend calls the big pile of broken paint that results a "newbie spot"

[Benfica4ever]

Well before i really knew about mags and cockers and high end guns, i always say the pics of classic mags and angels on web sites, so they were stock, and i always wondered werre the hell the co2 went, since there were no macro or anything, i always wondered. i was always used to seeing spyders that already came with air line.

[Dark Cloud]

played a game with an empty tank. I spent a long time wondering what aws wrong with my gun.

[BobTheCow]

Originally posted by Torbo
newbies always seem to let their hoppers and/ or pods fall open, so they drop their paint all over. Anyone else notice that? Anyway, my friend calls the big pile of broken paint that results a "newbie spot"

YES!!! Pev's is LITTERED with "newbie spots" in the woods areas... haha I'm definitely gonna use that term now, newbie spots...

Anyway my friend played in a 3-man tournament, basically his first time EVER playing paintball, with two other guys. On the break of the first game he took off running, but ended up falling on his arse in a huge mud puddle, and ended up shooting about 10 rounds from back there the rest of the game.

In a woods game once I was determined to mark this guy's hopper that was sticking out around the side of a pile of sandbags. I must have gone through at least 500 rounds, unloading hopper + several pods, before I finally got eliminated by some crossfire from the other side of the field. As I walked the tape to the dead box, I had to pass by the guy I was shooting at the entire time... only to find out I had shot 500 paintballs at a fallen tree branch!!

And then there are those ever-newbs who like to lecture us on how cockers have superior range...

**edit** lol oh yeah the MOST newbish thing I have EVER done: tried to play my first game with my stingray, only finding out on the chrono it would go from 270 to 150 to 350 in 3 successive shots. My friend's dad ended up basically buying me a joker. (Thanks Jeff!! )

[NJPaint]

noob: Wait, paintball is one shot kill? Thats so unrealistic

Oh and a few weeks ago there was the group of ~8 kids playing and one of them had one of those poofy jackets that sort of looks like a life vest. ANyways, anything that hit it just bounced off, it was really funny because he couldn't feel it either, so you could continously shoot him and nothing would brake.

I'm standing at the target range having just finished tweaking my lvl 10 and I'm shooting a lot of crap paint, ripping it to try to make it break paint.
noob: what kind of gun is that?
me: automag
noob: REF THIS KID IS SHOOTING AN AUTOMATIC!!!!
*ref walks over* (guy I've known for almost a year)
Ref: what are you shooting Thomas?
me: my automag, like always...
Ref: wtf are you talking about you stupid noob?
noob: he said automatic and I saw it shooting!
Ref: Can I borrow both of your guns?
*we both hand him our guns and he hands mine to him and his to me, he had some type of electric spyder or clone*
Ref: okay, noob, shoot the closest target right there as fast as you can.
*He shoots about 2 bps*
Ref: now you thomas...
*walk the trigger, used to have a black dragun, so I was used to it *
noob: wtf???

[FreshmanBob]

A year or two ago I was playing up at ABC paintball with my pgp. I managed to get around behind about 10 noobs with rentals and surrender them all. The funny thing was I only had 1 ball in the chamber, if two of them just didn't surrender, at best I could only get 1.

[NJPaint]

Freshman bob, you play at ABC??? Thats my primary field, what do you normally shoot... I'll find you... PM me


nother noob thing, happend at ABC

I always bring my 68 Carbine along with me when I play, there is nothign like playing speed ball with it and only a 50 round hopper to prove the point that my mag or TImmy isn't doing all the work

[FalconGuy016]

I was never much of a n00b... I kind of jumped into the game