Official "Stupidest Thing a Customer has said" thread

[slade]

This isn't technically something a customer said but more a comment on customers themselves. On one of my trips to America I went into a store, may have been Walmart or K-Mart I really can't remember but I was looking for socks, found them, bought them, great except on the bag they were sold in was pictures showing how to put on a sock....I just find that disturbing

reminds me of my chemistry teacher talking about flameless ration heaters he helped design for the military... they had to constantly revise how everything was said so it could be understood by someone who was on a 5th grade reading level. they had to eliminate "45 degrees" from the text and say "prop up against a rock or something" because some of the soldiers didnt know what 45 degrees was. the directions also included filling the bag with water to a certain line, and aparently too many soldiers didnt know how to fill it (above the line? below the line? try to get it on the line? pour out the extra if its above the line?) so they had to change it to two lines and say fill between the lines.

[quick_spyder]

haha, MREs are awesome. Some dumb soldiers out there though.

[BigEvil]

As most everyone knows I work as a Daylight Restaurant Manager/ Bartender. On thursday we got busy enough that I had to sneak away from my computer and desk and orders and go take care of customers during lunch. there were a few people at the actual bar and I started getting them drinks and what not.. Two of the females I took care of were "life partners" and one of course was very dominate and "butch", the other was quite submissive and "feminine".
I had gotten their drinks and turned around to the register to get thier change when the butch one said "Damn that is a big Azz tuna, I don't think I could eat all of that". I was moritfied, I know that I have gainded a few pounds but nothing to get that type of a reaction outta someone. I was scared to turn around. Then I glanced at the tv to my right and realized that FSN had a fishing show on...
That was a relief!!

The way you described it, sounded like they werent up for a challenge.

[ahellers]

to day i answered a mayday on the radio and a woman said
"MADAY MAYDAY MAYDAY one of the crew members just lost 4 finger" then i almost said "Roger mam does he remember the last time he saw them?"
ok i guess that really bad but at least my cheif thought it was funny, but ill bet he wouldnt of if i really said it.
t

[Rudz]

oww

to day i answered a mayday on the radio and a woman said
"MADAY MAYDAY MAYDAY one of the crew members just lost 4 finger" then i almost said "Roger mam does he remember the last time he saw them?"
ok i guess that really bad but at least my cheif thought it was funny, but ill bet he wouldnt of if i really said it.
t

Man, that would suck.

[bentothejam1n]

reminds me of my chemistry teacher talking about flameless ration heaters he helped design for the military... they had to constantly revise how everything was said so it could be understood by someone who was on a 5th grade reading level. they had to eliminate "45 degrees" from the text and say "prop up against a rock or something" because some of the soldiers didnt know what 45 degrees was. the directions also included filling the bag with water to a certain line, and aparently too many soldiers didnt know how to fill it (above the line? below the line? try to get it on the line? pour out the extra if its above the line?) so they had to change it to two lines and say fill between the lines.

i heart MRE bombs long time

[Jonno06]

Not really stupid things, but stupid people. I work at the Home Depot. I sold a grill to someone (Assembled) After paying for it they are like "This is gonna fit in my car, right?" .. HONDA CIVIC. YEA. Huge *** assembled grill. Its gonna fit... Thats just the begining of it though. the things people expect to fit in their cars. And get mad at us because they can;t.

there are a LOT of stupid people in home depots. i dont work for home depot, but im a d25 rep, and ill be standing there looking for something, and they will just come up and ask me where the screws or doorknobs or whatever is at...like im wearing an orange apron or something...

[ahellers]

there are a LOT of stupid people in home depots. i dont work for home depot, but im a d25 rep, and ill be standing there looking for something, and they will just come up and ask me where the screws or doorknobs or whatever is at...like im wearing an orange apron or something...

i am def. one of those stupid people... i ask some one for help at the hardware store no mater what im doing there, and i live across the street from ace so im there alot
viva la stupid people!
t

[-Tab]

I work at my dad's floor covering store. I had a lady come in to pick up a piece of 15' wide carpet.....WITH A FORD FREAKIN' CONTOUR.

She says: "Well, I'll just roll down my windows and stick it through there."

I hate working in the store. I'm much more happy out on a job site.

[Skittle]

So I'm sitting in the store, watching the History channel looking at paintball stuff online when this moon bursts through the door. Then, without a moments hesitation, before the door can even close this individual blurts out in a loud obnoxios voice:

Moon: "I need da pay Morris Outlaw."
Me: "Well, what do you need to pay him?"
Moon: "I got fidytoo dollas."
Me: "Oh, Alright."
-a few moments of silence-
Moon: "Well, dont u need da look it up on da computa?"
Me: "Look what up?"
Moon: "Dat phone bill-Morris Outlaw."
Me: "Ooohh, I thought you had to pay HIM, not his phone bill, you confused me."
Moon: "Yeah, how much dat bill is?"
Me: "Well, its not my bill.. he should have told you. I really have no way of knowing because you have to check the balance from the phone."
Moon: "I got fidytoo dollas."
Me: "Well, we'll just go with that and hope it works."
Moon: "Oh, ok word."

There is no excuse for this. This was not a dramitazation. Almost a direct quote, no lie, no bias.
I have decided that it would be easier to direct Romeo and Juliet with a cast of people who are all dead or in a coma.

Here is another real life example:

(Moon walks in, approaches DVD case.)
(After noticing a sign that reads "DVDs $5.95 or 3 for $15" the moon turns to me as to say something worth a crap.)

Moon: "A, yo."
Me: "Yeah, what can I do for you".
Moon: "Ya'll sell DVD?"
Me: "Yep, right there in that case". (Points to a point directly infront of said moon.)
Moon: "How much dey R?"
Me: "$5.95 or 3 for $15".
Moon: "Dang, 4 reel? U caint sell dem for more lesser?"
Me: "Sorry, that's as low as I can do".
Moon: "Dag, I be back."
(Moon walks casualy over to the door)
Moon: "A, A yo."
Me: "Yeah, man?"
Moon: "How much dat DVD?"
Me: "$5.95 or 3 for $15".
Moon: "FOR REAL?!?!? It come wit dat remote?!."
Me: "Oh, you mean DVD Player... no thats $14.95."
Moon: "Dag, I be back."

Stupidity.

[ScatterPlot]

Lol, where do you work?


And Altimus, updates please! Your site was one of my favorites!

[Skittle]

Lol, where do you work?


And Altimus, updates please! Your site was one of my favorites!

pawn shop... I have stories that would destroy your life.

[Altimas]

Leroy is back by popular demand!

Which means I just put 2 New Blogs on the site, other exciting news is I am getting my own domain and working on my web page for these stories. Coming Soon!

[Altimas]

And for those of you who dont want to scroll all the way back to the first page heres the link:

http://service-rep.blogspot.com/

[ScatterPlot]

^^^^^ ^^^^^