Should I talk to this married woman??

[SlartyBartFast]

personally, id say its better for a child to grow up with divorced parents than with parents who are constantly fighting, in an unhappy relationship, and cheating on each other. but thats just me.

Well, that's where the shades of gray come in. Far too many people have a very limited tolerance for "unhappy".

Fighting and toxic environments should not be forced on kids, I agree.

[tropical_fishy]

While marriage CAN be happy and joyful, hapiness is NOT what it's all about.

It's about responsibility. And what's responsibility? It's putting the rights of others first. The love of, and resposibility to children is what should come FIRST in a family.

Too many self centered idiots who won't live up to their commitments and are thinking only of themselves is what makes the divorcerate what it is.

Any relationship is give and take. Is there a line over which the relationship is unrecoverable? Sure. But the above quote is too general. Until the relationship involves abuse, some effort should be made to respect the commitments taken.

BTW, if you cheat with a married person, you mock the sanctity of mariage. And by doing so make a mockery of your own marriage vows in the future.

I disagree. When you enter into a relationship, marriage or no, you, as a human, deserve to be happy. I don't mean all the time, but if you wake up every morning unhappy and go to bed every night unhappy, there is NO reason you should have to stay in that marriage. How can you be a good parent if you can't make yourself happy? How can you provide the emotional support and attention your children need when you're depressed and unhappy? There is no need for an adult to continuously be unhappy just for the kid's sake.


You can love your children and yourself. When/if I have kids, I'll love them to death. Anyone who knows me well knows how much I adore children. That doesn't mean I'll give up what makes me ME for them, because that would be cheating them out of a mother they could have had. If I allow myself to stay in an unhappy relationship "for their sakes" they are losing out on a mother who would otherwise be happy, attentive, and loving.

[geekwarrior]

this is turing into a Ann Landers column

[tropical_fishy]

this is turing into a Ann Landers column

My shrink says I need to start letting out my aggression and anger in positive ways.

Thus far I have not condemned the entire male population to death; it's a good day.

[SlartyBartFast]

I disagree. When you enter into a relationship, marriage or no, you, as a human, deserve to be happy.

Define "happy". You can't. It all depends on circumstance and the source of your unhappiness.

If you are unhappy, there is only ONE honourable way to behave. And that's discussion with your partner.

I'm unsubbing. This IS too much like Ann Landers....

[geekwarrior]

My shrink says I need to start letting out my aggression and anger in positive ways.

Thus far I have not condemned the entire male population to death; it's a good day.

congrats...we're not all evil, although we can all be jerks at times


...but I'm suprised this thread hasnt pissed you off though, with all the screw her and leave her votes(and I guess the invasion of privacy thing) ....its kinda upset me, but I guess its just the internet

[tropical_fishy]

congrats...we're not all evil, although we can all be jerks at times


...but I'm suprised this thread hasnt pissed you off though, with all the screw her and leave her votes(and I guess the invasion of privacy thing) ....its kinda upset me, but I guess its just the internet

I amuse myself with the thought that most of the guys in this thread aren't getting laid, and the ones that are are either married (which is a punishment in and of itself) or going to get laid by the kind of women I hate (which is kind of awesome all around).

[slade]

Well, that's where the shades of gray come in. Far too many people have a very limited tolerance for "unhappy".

Fighting and toxic environments should not be forced on kids, I agree.

hey look at that, it would appear that we can agree on something!

My shrink says I need to start letting out my aggression and anger in positive ways.

Thus far I have not condemned the entire male population to death; it's a good day.

when did you see your shrink? you were condemning the entire male population for quite a while there.

[geekwarrior]

I amuse myself with the thought that most of the guys in this thread aren't getting laid, and the ones that are are either married (which is a punishment in and of itself) or going to get laid by the kind of women I hate (which is kind of awesome all around).

i'm sorry that your bad experiences have made you have such a negative view of marraige.

I havent been married too long, (4 yrs) but so far it has been the best decision I have made in my life, and has given me so much more meaning and enjoyment in life. I hope someday you can experience the same.

[SCpoloRicker]

Gents, don't get married, don't have kids. Problem(s) solved.

/gets laid plenty
//'cos I'm so suave and sophisticated
///pokes tropical_fishy with a misogynist stick

[Lohman446]

lol....still the same mentality, screw the other guy. Does your wife to be know what a winner she's getting?

and getting caught is easy, read my post above about my friend who put GPS tracking on his wifes car.

Yeh... there relationship was just peachy before that.

Look, if the relationship is problematic that the woman is cheating (and remember, women often view sex far differently than men, it is an emotional act) there is already something far wrong. If there is so little trust that GPS and other forms of tracking (reading E-mails, etc.) the relationship has far more serious problems. The overt act is not the underlying problem, just an easy place to put blame

[Lohman446]

While marriage CAN be happy and joyful, hapiness is NOT what it's all about.

It's about responsibility. And what's responsibility? It's putting the rights of others first. The love of, and resposibility to children is what should come FIRST in a family.

Too many self centered idiots who won't live up to their commitments and are thinking only of themselves is what makes the divorcerate what it is.

I call BS on this. This is said too often by people who have not been there. I agree, a happy, stable household with both natural parents is the ideal situation for children.

Notice the qualifiers. Happy and stable. An unhappy and unstable environment is exceptionally harmful for children. I am very certain my child is much better off by the fact I am divorced from my (legally) nuts ex wife and provide her with a much better home than she had with her mother living here.

[billybob_81067]

SNIP the ones that are are either married (which is a punishment in and of itself) /SNIP

I disagree. When you enter into a relationship, marriage or no, you, as a human, deserve to be happy.

So when marriage is a punishment in and of itself, then how can you possibly be happy???

[tropical_fishy]

So when marriage is a punishment in and of itself, then how can you possibly be happy???

You're married, you answer that question.

[Steelrat]

Gents, don't get married, don't have kids. Problem(s) solved.

/gets laid plenty
//'cos I'm so suave and sophisticated
///pokes tropical_fishy with a misogynist stick

The standards in San Francisco must have gone down since I left. Unless you are getting your action at the Squat & Gobble.